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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have not gone over to my neighbour's with her parcel?

301 replies

CowboyJoanna · 22/05/2024 15:17

So the other day, a deliveryman pulled up on the street with a parcel for my neighbour who lives across the way. She's a slobby stay at home mum so she was in the house at the time, but for some reason never collected it. None of the neighbours either side of her were in, so the deliveryman brought it over to my house and asked me to take it in for her. I asked the deliveryman to leave a note for my neighbour to come and collect, but I don't think he understood (he was an eastern european bloke with broken english).

Anyway, I kept the parcel in the hall all day, waiting for my neighbour to collect it. But it became abundantly clear the deliveryman had not left a note, because she was sat on the sofa all day. When my DH got home from work, he asked me about the parcel and I explained it was a neighbour's. He said to me "leave it there and if she so wants it she'll come over. The deliverymen always leave notes". So we left it there.

Nothing came the next day. Neighbour was still in the house all day, as always.
But this morning we got a bang on the door.

It was the neighbour, and she proceeded to hurl a mouthful of abuse at me. "The fuck's your problem? Why didn't you bring me over my fucking parcel you cheeky bitch? That was my daughter's fucking birthday present and I was losing my fucking mind over it getting lost". I told her it wasn't my fault because I asked the deliveryman to leave her a note and I assumed she would come and collect it if she so wanted it. But she shouted "I got the note yeah but it's MY FUCKING PARCEL AND YOU JUST SAT THERE WITH IT".

It's not like I opened it or anything, but I'm wondering should I have gone over? I thought to myself, it's her parcel so if she wants it so badly she should've answered the door instead of sitting in front of the telly. And she didn't need to be so bloody rude.

OP posts:
CurlewKate · 22/05/2024 16:50

In the list of things that never happened....

BimbledAgain · 22/05/2024 16:50

I don't understand. Why not take it over ? You couldn't be sure she knew you had it. Wouldn't you appreciate someone taking it to you..if you had not been notified?

MissUltraViolet · 22/05/2024 16:52

You opened the door and she said the fuck is your problem and called you a cheeky bitch?

Ok....but nah lol.

Growuppeople · 22/05/2024 17:10

BimbledAgain · 22/05/2024 16:50

I don't understand. Why not take it over ? You couldn't be sure she knew you had it. Wouldn't you appreciate someone taking it to you..if you had not been notified?

Because it’s not her job! I take multiple parcels in sometimes like fuck am I taking them over. Should be grateful I even took them in🙄

MotherFeministWoman · 22/05/2024 17:11

Growuppeople · 22/05/2024 17:10

Because it’s not her job! I take multiple parcels in sometimes like fuck am I taking them over. Should be grateful I even took them in🙄

Show quote history

And they say community is dead...

BimbledAgain · 22/05/2024 17:27

Growuppeople · 22/05/2024 17:10

Because it’s not her job! I take multiple parcels in sometimes like fuck am I taking them over. Should be grateful I even took them in🙄

Show quote history

The OP hasn't said anything about multiple parcels.

OneLemonOrca · 22/05/2024 17:27

The amount of time it took you to write this you could have gone over and left it on her doorstep

Growuppeople · 22/05/2024 17:32

BimbledAgain · 22/05/2024 17:27

The OP hasn't said anything about multiple parcels.

Show quote history

Didn’t say they did did I? I was replying to the person asking why she couldn’t take it over because it isn’t her job she’s already done her a favour

Growuppeople · 22/05/2024 17:34

MotherFeministWoman · 22/05/2024 17:11

And they say community is dead...

Show quote history

Lol “community” I’ve taken your parcel in don’t be so lazy and come and get it. Stupid reply

PrincessHoneysuckle · 22/05/2024 17:34

🤔

OneLemonOrca · 22/05/2024 17:35

I have just read your post now. I think you shouldn’t speak to her again. If she is walking by just look straight ahead. Pretend she isn’t there. She is unhinged and can make your life hell

Hadalifeonce · 22/05/2024 17:36

If course the onus was on her to collect the parcel.
Obviously you refuse to take in any more parcels for her, then she doesn't have to worry they might be lost.

Londonrach1 · 22/05/2024 17:37

Just refuse to take any parcels in again for her x

WeeOrcadian · 22/05/2024 17:38

You're judgy but she's a cheeky, jumped-up cunt.

OhshutupBrenda · 22/05/2024 18:03

Did she aye? 🤔

Pollipops1 · 22/05/2024 18:24

She's a slobby stay at home mum so she was in the house at the time, but for some reason never collected it.

Ive often not had a card or an email to tell me where my parcel is tbf.

YouJustDoYou · 22/05/2024 18:27

You're an asshole. She's an asshole.

TheseBootsAreWalking · 22/05/2024 18:30

Not your issue and I would say no next time as the value of the parcel, if damaged on arrival, is your responsibility.

How effing entitled that neighbor is, wow, I am fuming for you.

If any delivery man asks you to keep a parcel for anyone, say no, and you do not need to explain anything to anyone, if she recieved a note, she can damm well shuffle her lazy back side your end to get it, and say thank you.

You are a saint

graceinspace999 · 22/05/2024 18:37

None of this makes sense.

Why not be neighbourly and deliver the parcel when it’s no big deal ?

Why would she worry about her child’s birthday present all day if she got the note and knew where it was?

Is it just me or are people getting more and more difficult?

It’s just a parcel - no need for all the ‘correct etiquette’ back and forth. 🤷‍♀️

Malo05 · 22/05/2024 18:38

ginasevern · 22/05/2024 16:36

This may come as a shock for many posters, but yes, people like Wayne and Waynetta Slob are alive and well. I'm a council tenant on a large council estate. Some of my neighbours are the best I've ever known. Some of them stay in filthy pyjamas all day and their houses stink of putrified food and weed.

They usually have at least 4 kids and the younger ones chuck stones at our windows while the older ones like to set fire to things or torture cats. Just for good measure they usually have an XL Bully or similar in their unimaginable shit hole of a front garden which they frequently enjoy kicking the hell out of.

There are so many more delightful activities I could describe but I think it's sufficient to say that people like this have actually ruined the lives and mental health of their decent neighbours.

So, I'm just waiting for someone to call me judgmental. If you do, I really hope you also have to live beside people like this and you know what you're talking about.

Show quote history

I'm in the same boat as you and concur that slobs are alive and well (just not well enough to rein in feral offspring and keep their garden tidy and not a cesspit)

CantBelieveNaive · 22/05/2024 18:40

The reason the Postie leaves the postcard is so that they know where to collect it from. The onus is on them to collect and you are right she is vile!
Don't accept anything for her again and she can get up herself next time and answer her own door.
Some people.🤦🏻‍♀️

disaggregate · 22/05/2024 18:40

CowboyJoanna · 22/05/2024 15:17

So the other day, a deliveryman pulled up on the street with a parcel for my neighbour who lives across the way. She's a slobby stay at home mum so she was in the house at the time, but for some reason never collected it. None of the neighbours either side of her were in, so the deliveryman brought it over to my house and asked me to take it in for her. I asked the deliveryman to leave a note for my neighbour to come and collect, but I don't think he understood (he was an eastern european bloke with broken english).

Anyway, I kept the parcel in the hall all day, waiting for my neighbour to collect it. But it became abundantly clear the deliveryman had not left a note, because she was sat on the sofa all day. When my DH got home from work, he asked me about the parcel and I explained it was a neighbour's. He said to me "leave it there and if she so wants it she'll come over. The deliverymen always leave notes". So we left it there.

Nothing came the next day. Neighbour was still in the house all day, as always.
But this morning we got a bang on the door.

It was the neighbour, and she proceeded to hurl a mouthful of abuse at me. "The fuck's your problem? Why didn't you bring me over my fucking parcel you cheeky bitch? That was my daughter's fucking birthday present and I was losing my fucking mind over it getting lost". I told her it wasn't my fault because I asked the deliveryman to leave her a note and I assumed she would come and collect it if she so wanted it. But she shouted "I got the note yeah but it's MY FUCKING PARCEL AND YOU JUST SAT THERE WITH IT".

It's not like I opened it or anything, but I'm wondering should I have gone over? I thought to myself, it's her parcel so if she wants it so badly she should've answered the door instead of sitting in front of the telly. And she didn't need to be so bloody rude.

You both sound horrid.
Perhaps legally and technically she should have come to retrieve her parcel, but why weren't you just a bit neighbourly and just pop it over to her instead of just letting it sit in your house? Her 'slobbiness' might well be to do with mental health issues.

TraitorsGate · 22/05/2024 18:40

I wouldn't take in a parcel if I knew the neighbour was in and I could see her sitting on the sofa

TheTartfulLodger · 22/05/2024 18:47

I don't understand why she didn't just ask for it if she got a note ?

WickedWitchOfTheEast87 · 22/05/2024 18:51

I can't believe the amount of posters jumping on the OP for her description of her neighbour and that she should have taken the parcel over when the neighbour was indoors! The OP isn't a bloody courier and the neighbour got her arse up to collect it when she realised the OP wasn't gonna bring it over and was abusive about it. Mumsnet logic is utter madness at times.

@CowboyJoanna Your neighbour is rude, abusive and a cheeky fucker expecting you to drop that parcel to her and then to be abusive when that doesn't happen. You handled it better than I would have done. I'd have told her to fuck off and never darken my door step again.

After this OP do not accept any of her parcels and if she comes to your door being abusive over this slam it in her face don't even engage or entertain her if she can't be pleasant and thankful she isn't entitled to you being neighbourly for her.