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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have not gone over to my neighbour's with her parcel?

301 replies

CowboyJoanna · 22/05/2024 15:17

So the other day, a deliveryman pulled up on the street with a parcel for my neighbour who lives across the way. She's a slobby stay at home mum so she was in the house at the time, but for some reason never collected it. None of the neighbours either side of her were in, so the deliveryman brought it over to my house and asked me to take it in for her. I asked the deliveryman to leave a note for my neighbour to come and collect, but I don't think he understood (he was an eastern european bloke with broken english).

Anyway, I kept the parcel in the hall all day, waiting for my neighbour to collect it. But it became abundantly clear the deliveryman had not left a note, because she was sat on the sofa all day. When my DH got home from work, he asked me about the parcel and I explained it was a neighbour's. He said to me "leave it there and if she so wants it she'll come over. The deliverymen always leave notes". So we left it there.

Nothing came the next day. Neighbour was still in the house all day, as always.
But this morning we got a bang on the door.

It was the neighbour, and she proceeded to hurl a mouthful of abuse at me. "The fuck's your problem? Why didn't you bring me over my fucking parcel you cheeky bitch? That was my daughter's fucking birthday present and I was losing my fucking mind over it getting lost". I told her it wasn't my fault because I asked the deliveryman to leave her a note and I assumed she would come and collect it if she so wanted it. But she shouted "I got the note yeah but it's MY FUCKING PARCEL AND YOU JUST SAT THERE WITH IT".

It's not like I opened it or anything, but I'm wondering should I have gone over? I thought to myself, it's her parcel so if she wants it so badly she should've answered the door instead of sitting in front of the telly. And she didn't need to be so bloody rude.

OP posts:
loropianalover · 22/05/2024 15:32

The responses here are a bit much - some people are just slobby. A bit of judgement keeps most of society in check.

OP obviously never take a parcel in for her again. How was she losing her mind over it if she got a note that it was at yours. Slobby and dim!

MissingMoominMamma · 22/05/2024 15:32

Mannikin · 22/05/2024 15:26

She behaved badly, yes, and absolutely should not have been abusive towards you.

But I find your judgement of her really unpleasant as well. How do you know this isn’t someone struggling with a severe depression (for example)? Maybe just try to be a bit nicer - I’d probably have taken it over because why not?

If her depression means she’s acrophobic, fair enough, but she managed to lift her arse to shout at the OP.

BrieAndChilli · 22/05/2024 15:33

it is the norm for the people who's parcel it is to go and collect it - otherwise how will you know when they are home?

From now on just refuse to take any parcels in for her house. Tell the delivery drivers she is abusive when collecting them. If she cant be bothered to open the door then thats not your problem.

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 22/05/2024 15:33

What an awful woman. You were kind enough to take the parcel in for her, it's not up to you to hand deliver it. Don't take in anything for her in future.

muddyford · 22/05/2024 15:34

The OP was rude about her neighbour on an anonymous forum. The neighbour was unpleasantly and unnecessarily abusive to her actual neighbour in front of her. A bit of a difference. But I wouldn't be taking in any further parcels regardless.

Superstoria · 22/05/2024 15:34

Can you tell me where you both live please? I’m currently house buying and i’d like to avoid you like the plague.

YABBU.

FOJN · 22/05/2024 15:35

Sunshineclouds11 · 22/05/2024 15:28

I have to take next doors parcels in cause they never answer the door, to anyone, I can hear them banging about but still don't open the door.

I wait for them to collect it tbh due to them ordering stuff and not opening a bloody door to receive it 😂

She was rude yes, you're also being rude about her. Just refuse next time or don't answer the door if you see them coming to you.

Also I can see my neighbours sitting on their sofa in the living room

You don't have to take your neighbours parcels in.

Two of my neighbours never answer the door so I refuse parcels for both of them now.

CowboyJoanna · 22/05/2024 15:35

loropianalover · 22/05/2024 15:32

The responses here are a bit much - some people are just slobby. A bit of judgement keeps most of society in check.

OP obviously never take a parcel in for her again. How was she losing her mind over it if she got a note that it was at yours. Slobby and dim!

Thats what i didnt understand. But clearly she was too lazy to get off her backside and come over to mine, and because I didn't come over she lost her temper.

I could've argued about it but no use in reasoning with stupidity

OP posts:
HideTheCroissants · 22/05/2024 15:37

You’re very rude about your neighbour OP. But you would not be unreasonable to refuse to take in parcels for her in future.

CowboyJoanna · 22/05/2024 15:38

Superstoria · 22/05/2024 15:34

Can you tell me where you both live please? I’m currently house buying and i’d like to avoid you like the plague.

YABBU.

Somewhere in the North West Grin

OP posts:
ToxicChristmas · 22/05/2024 15:38

You should have drop kicked it at her.
At least now you know not to take anything in for them ever again.

MidnightMeltdown · 22/05/2024 15:41

flabbergastedalways · 22/05/2024 15:20

I find it quite passive aggressive you didnt go over when you could have, bizarre really.

Why the fuck should OP go over with it? She's already done her a favour by storing the parcel in her house.

Next time chuck her bloody parcel in the bin.

Wendysfriend · 22/05/2024 15:43

I always bring parcels to the neighbours, just in case no note has been left. it's always been that way even growing up. My kids use to fight over who was bringing the parcels to the houses they all wanted to do it.

Errors · 22/05/2024 15:45

Ffs of course YANBU!
There was no need for her response, you were doing her a favour by taking it in. If you had refused, who knows when they may have re-attempted delivery. Depression or illness makes no difference to this scenario IMO!

Overtheatlantic · 22/05/2024 15:51

Is there some history between you two?

OhmygodDont · 22/05/2024 15:53

Yanbu

if you want door step delivery, you erm answer the door to the courier 😂

if it goes to a neighbour you collect and thank them for taking it in.

Mayorq · 22/05/2024 15:54

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

SantiagoSky · 22/05/2024 15:54

Why did you even take the parcel? I would have refused it instead of trying to instruct the delivery driver. Of course the neighbor didn't collect the parcel, they had no idea where it was...

ILikeItWhatIsIt · 22/05/2024 15:58

Lots of very virtuous people on this thread who have never, ever, ever, judged someone they don't know based on their behaviour or how they look. Must be lovely being you!

FOJN · 22/05/2024 15:58

SantiagoSky · 22/05/2024 15:54

Why did you even take the parcel? I would have refused it instead of trying to instruct the delivery driver. Of course the neighbor didn't collect the parcel, they had no idea where it was...

From the OP.....

I told her it wasn't my fault because I asked the deliveryman to leave her a note and I assumed she would come and collect it if she so wanted it. But she shouted "I got the note yeah but it's MY FUCKING PARCEL AND YOU JUST SAT THERE WITH IT".

The neighbour did come and get it, she knew exactly where it was. Her fury was that the OP hadn't delivered it.

LiterallyOnFire · 22/05/2024 16:01

ILikeItWhatIsIt · 22/05/2024 15:58

Lots of very virtuous people on this thread who have never, ever, ever, judged someone they don't know based on their behaviour or how they look. Must be lovely being you!

Really? I thought the opposite.

I can't imagine being this randomly and gratuitously rude just for the sake of it.

"A woman over the road didn't collect her parcel and then was irrational and shouty about me not taking it to her." That works. It covers it.

Why do we need all the endless invective about sofas, and lifting arses and whatever? It's just crass and unnecessary.

OldTinHat · 22/05/2024 16:02

What a mud slinging match this has become!

OP was unnecessarily rude on her post here. If she was as rude to her neighbour, I can understand the shouting and bitching.

I personally refuse to take in parcels for neighbours I don't know. I will for those I do or have a mutual agreement with.

Their tracking will show where its been delivered (unless its a gift sent to a neighbour so unexpected).

I wait for the recipient to come and collect.

OP, you've been quite nasty in your post. I've no idea about your situation or your neighbour's, but, I sense your anger so maybe refuse to accept parcels/post and ignore your neighbour. What your neighbour does with her time is up to her, you can refuse to take in her parcels and then be less stressed and confrontational.

Cat2024 · 22/05/2024 16:03

OhmygodDont · 22/05/2024 15:53

Yanbu

if you want door step delivery, you erm answer the door to the courier 😂

if it goes to a neighbour you collect and thank them for taking it in.

Agree with PP.
YANBU.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them. Definitely refuse any more parcels. What a charmer!

TraitorsGate · 22/05/2024 16:03

If you didn't think the delivery driver didn't understand I would have taken it over. Left it on the step and rung the bel you don't need to take in any more parcels for her.

OriginalUsername2 · 22/05/2024 16:04

loropianalover · 22/05/2024 15:32

The responses here are a bit much - some people are just slobby. A bit of judgement keeps most of society in check.

OP obviously never take a parcel in for her again. How was she losing her mind over it if she got a note that it was at yours. Slobby and dim!

Agreed.

Women exist that sit on their arses and do fuck all but scream at their kids. Their front gardens are full of crap. You can smell their house when they leave their doors open. They’re aggressive. But we have to pretend that’s not a thing?