Travelling abroad to see a friend and she hasn't booked time off work

[seeitthroughmyeyes]

Hi all, long story short, I worked in an industry where everything is done via teams and online with occasionally travel abroad.
I made very good friends with a colleague who lives in Spain. She left the company last year and have both promised to meet in person.
I took the plunge and said I'll come out and see you this year once I know my dates with work etc. we both arranged a date for me to come out and I booked the flights there and then. We've not spoken much since as life gets in the way and we no longer work together everyday, which is fine.

Anyway, we were messaging today and I asked her what the plan was when I arrive and I've found out she 'couldn't' take the Friday off work because someone else at her job had and they require 3 people in the team. This is fine, no worries, would've just like to have known.

Also, it's bank holiday in the UK Monday so I'm not flying until late evening so I could spend as much time there with her. I've also found out, it's not a bank holiday in Spain and she hasn't managed to get that time off either. So for two of the days I'm going to be loitering around Spain by myself and a bit nagged off I've spent this money only to see her for two days.

I am hugely grateful that I do not have to pay for any accommodation, as I will be staying with her but AIBU to think she could've at least told me?

I took the plunge and said I'll come out and see you this year once I know my dates with work

So, you invited yourself over to hers? or, did she invite you over?

I suspect the difference between these two details may be why she now has to work 😂

@LuluBlakey1 but bank holidays are very much a British things. Those are public holidays. Bank Holidays are a type of public holiday but in many other countries public Holidays are linked to specific celebrations eg religious or independence. Rather than the first Monday in May

There is loads to do in Madrid so don’t worry. It’s a great city.

Sounds great to me. I'd love that set up.

Also, surely you must be aware that we don't get the same bank holidays everywhere.

You've got plenty of time together and by Monday you'll have found your feet and explore a bit.

Can't really see an issue here.

bank holiday/public holiday

bith essentially the same thing - banks and most offices are closed.

many countries have them on the actual religious or political day though and not a monday here and there like in england.

Why would she take holiday ? She wants that for her holidays? She will be around after work and the weekend

I live abroad and get a constant stream of visitors. They entertain themselves in the day by going to the beach, museums, local attractions or lounging around my pool and we get together for dinner and drinks and night

It wouldn't even occur to me that I have to take time off for a visiting friend if part of their visit falls on weekend. You are an adult and should be perfectly capable to spend a few days in a major city and occupy yourself. I don't think I would inform you either because I wouldn't even consider it something you would expect me to do.

Do a free walking tour! They are absolutely epic, I do one in every country I visit.

I personally live abroad and it drives me bananas when people come and visit and expected me to take the whole time off. Certaintly I will try and take a couple of days, but if they are over for a weekend thats two full days together and it can get quite full on being with someone 24/7. Sometimes it's nice for the visitor to get out and about by themselves and enjoy the 'touristy' things that I probably have done a million times with other guests or maybe we would enjoy seeing different things! See it as an adventure with the added bonus of seeing your pal in the evenings and weekend!

YABU. We have so many visitors that if I took time off when they visited I’d never have any annual leave. Madrid is an amazing city to explore on your own!

My best visitor, who arrived late Thursday night, said when she got here “I know you’re working tomorrow so I’ve booked a walking tour, a tour of the cathedral and Parliament and am going to the art museum in the afternoon. Shall we meet around six, when you’ve finished work, for a drink? I’ve found this amazing cocktail bar near the castle.”

Essentially the same thing- no one bothers with the difference these days.

We've gone to see friends in Oz a few times and one of the first things I always say is 'please don't take time off work' as I know how few days they get. They normally manage a day or so but it's a great compromise of us seeing them evenings and weekends and having freedom to do as we please in the day. I'm a bit confused at your reluctance to spend time alone - are you quite young? Have you never travelled before? Spending time alone in amazing cities is a dream for me!

Not being funny, but are you joking? You're in a capital city. There is masses of things to do on your own for two days. Stop being ridiculous.

Not to hurt your feelings but I feel like you need to get a grip. It's the Monday and Friday. Not a huge deal at all. If you'd have said it was Monday to Thursday and she'd not booked any or only booked one day off I'd have said different. It's time to grow up and have a look around yourself or chill in the sun. I can't believe you've never hung out alone in another country. I had been alone and doing my own thing for the odd day in Spain and France at 16/17

Exactly, even more so when the OP apparently travels abroad for work.

Maybe she thought, this piss taker hasn’t spoken to me since we stopped working together and now wants a free city break in Madrid on my behalf. Fuck it, I’ll stick to my normal routine and she can please herself.

not saying that IS what she thinks, but it’s a possibility.

It doesn't sound like she couldn't be bothered to take days off, it sounds like she cannot take those days off. And like you picked the date to suit you first. Even so, I am not sure I would take the days off either. Or expect a friend too.

But then I'm another who would love two days to explore Madrid by myself. Sounds genuinely wonderful.

Oh come on OP- if you travel abroad for work then surely you can cope with entertaining yourself during the day time for 2 days. What happens when you travel abroad for work?- do you take a 24/7 companion with you to hold your hand?

Kindly, I agree that you need to get a grip here and stop whining. You've got free accommodation for 4 days in a great city from someone you haven't actually met in person. She's being incredibly generous here and I dont think she should be spending her precious annual leave days on your visit and YABU to expect her to do that.

I think you are imposing on her enough without expecting her to take annual leave to facilitate your visit. You are an ex colleague rather than a close friend. Adjust your expectations accordingly.

That's kind of my thought too.

I wouldn't take time off for this either I have to say - I'd expect the person I was hosting for free to be more than capable of entertaining themselves for some of the time.

I also think it's a bit of an intense first meeting - you've never met in person, haven't really spoken in ages and now you're going to be staying in her home for four days? What if you don't get on?! 😬

You're sounding really feeble, you don't really think that the only thing to do in a capital city is to drink cocktails do you?

It's not even like the old days when you would have had to buy a guide book, is your Internet broken?

Half a day in the Prado if you’re into art, half a day browsing shops. I’m a bit surprised you didn’t realise bank holidays aren’t international!

I’ve lived abroad many times and to be honest you end up not wanting to take time off because it eats into your holiday entitlements people always visit.

ive lived in Madrid too, and there plenty to do: where in Madrid is she? Retiro park and the Prado are close by each other: if you go to sol, there is a lot to see also a lot of touristy shite though. Salamanca is a fancy barrio and good for a wander…. It’s all possible and no need for feeling abandoned!

Then it's past time you had that experience. Go to a museum, go to a national monument, go to a park.

Just re-reading the OP and in spite of her kindness in hosting you I think she should have mentioned that she was going to be working (which is fine). As the Friday and Monday would be travel days it would be a waste of her leave to take off these days. I also find that Sunday evening flights are really expensive so you’ve probably saved money by returning the Monday. Enjoy your break, it will be nice to get some warmth in Madrid.

Madrid is amazing, shopping, cafes. Art galleries. I could spend a week alone there.