Travelling abroad to see a friend and she hasn't booked time off work

[seeitthroughmyeyes]

Hi all, long story short, I worked in an industry where everything is done via teams and online with occasionally travel abroad.
I made very good friends with a colleague who lives in Spain. She left the company last year and have both promised to meet in person.
I took the plunge and said I'll come out and see you this year once I know my dates with work etc. we both arranged a date for me to come out and I booked the flights there and then. We've not spoken much since as life gets in the way and we no longer work together everyday, which is fine.

Anyway, we were messaging today and I asked her what the plan was when I arrive and I've found out she 'couldn't' take the Friday off work because someone else at her job had and they require 3 people in the team. This is fine, no worries, would've just like to have known.

Also, it's bank holiday in the UK Monday so I'm not flying until late evening so I could spend as much time there with her. I've also found out, it's not a bank holiday in Spain and she hasn't managed to get that time off either. So for two of the days I'm going to be loitering around Spain by myself and a bit nagged off I've spent this money only to see her for two days.

I am hugely grateful that I do not have to pay for any accommodation, as I will be staying with her but AIBU to think she could've at least told me?

Honestly you might find it's the perfect mix of alone time and friend time! I bet you have a blast!

You have unwittingly made a few common assumptions here but I’m sure you’ll have a nice time. You’ll def see each other around the visit, dinners etc. We live overseas and we just don’t want to use up all our free time doing stuff we’ve already naturally seen tons of times - so do get on Viator and book a day trip/tour guide for those bits, or use Google maps. I’d also suggest if what you really wanted was a short holiday with your friend, then next time ask if she fancies going/meeting anywhere in particular, perhaps equidistant for you both or that involves just the first night in Madrid - I doubt she sees a holiday being in her home city and this way you both feel it’s worth taking some time off. That all said I do take a a couple of days off when my best friend visits as we only see each other once a year and we live much much further apart so more costs involved, we do meet up though in other cities sometimes though and she is very happy to entertain herself too if I have work stuff on.

YABVU. What made you think Spain was a mini Britain with the same holidays?
Come on how old are you?
Went to Madrid as a teen and there's so much to do and see there. You are lucky to get free lodging, you should appreciate that and I hope you'll treat you very accommodating friend to meals etc as a thank you.

Yes YABU. A grown woman, working, able to book a flight and visit someone abroad and you want them to hold hand throughout your holiday. 1 day would be enough for me to spend with an adult. She's really generous to spend 2 full days with you. Find something else to do for the other days.

I think 2 days hanging out together and 2 on your own is a nice balance. Spending every waking moment together would be a bit intense.

I'd use the days alone to knock over the really touristy (and perhaps pricey) things that she has probably already done a million times.

Some kind of tour on day 1, as recommended by pps, is always a great way to familiarise yourself with a new place.

As someone who geta viaitora from abroad often, this is how it is. As pps I would have no leave left if I took timw off for everyone their whole visit.
Explore on your own, spend friday eve and weekend together and that's it. Nice trip.
Alao baffled why one would think public holidays are the same everywhere. In many places, if not all, they don't move to Monday but are simply on the date that is important.

Be glad Monday isn't a bank holiday, as presumably everything will still be open! Honestly, I would probably be a bit put put/nervous in your shoes too, but reading all these other posts reassures me your friend did nothing wrong and you will probably have a great time. Think of it as an adventure.

This, OP! Madrid is a vibrant, exciting city, you don’t have to be bored or lonely, even alone. There is so much art, history, culture and shopping, not to mention delicious food, I’m sure you can find something to enjoy 😃

Really?
You work with pain other countries and you didn't realise they have different national and religious holidays?

Madrid is an amazing city
The metro is really easy to use and there's so much to see and do

As others suggested retiro Park, Royal Palace and plaza mayor are must does.

You could even book a day trip to Segovia or el escorial

Even the shops are fabulous in madrid

There will be lots to do in Madrid. Please don't be one of those adults who requires to be babysat the whole time. I know people are different but personally I can't imagine anything better than a whole day (or two) in a new place just to please myself and do exactly what I want.

I was just thinking this. Maybe this gives an insight. Do some research and find out what you'd like to do and see whilst you're there and don't be such a wet lettuce OP.

Did she invite you to stay with her, OP? Or did you assume you would be staying with her?

I’m wondering if she feels a bit imposed on.

Omg that’s the dream! You get two days today’s yourself and two days with her.

I can’t believe you thought Spain had the same bank holidays!

dont worry though, go for a wonder around Madrid and see the sights, it will be fine.

If you don't like mooching around alone, find somewhere for a spa day?

Sounds great ! Two days to yourself, two days on your own, embrace it 😊

yabu
she's new in her job and probably gets last puck for annual leave.

plus living in a tourist destination can be exhausting. there is only so many times you want to visit the top attraction. it's booring and expensive.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10754441/England-Wales-enjoy-fewest-bank-holidays-countries-European-Union.html?ito=native_share_article-nativemenubutton

Definitely not just a British thing! Spain also has the marvellous concept of bridge days - if the important date falls on a Tuesday or Thursday, they take the Monday or Friday off as well. Which imo is a great way to do it.

You should have to bake her a beautiful cake or some dessert.
https://eurotins.co.uk/collections/heart

I don't want to add to your discomfort but just be a teeny bit conscious that even hosting you and spending two weekend days with you is rather intense for someone who is a work colleague 'friend', predominantly online at that, who you haven't had much contact with lately (so you are not exactly close).

Do not let on that you are disappointed about the Friday/Monday, come armed with lots of ideas for things to do. Do not be 'needy' during the time you are with your friend, give her lots of space and be flexible to the things she needs to do (usual weekend things, such as supermarket shopping, chilling at home, sleeping in etc).

OP- I live in a popular tourist area. I work here, I have my family and my life here. We often have people 'come to stay' because it's - a popular tourist area. What they often forget is although it is their holiday, this is my life. I have 30 annual leave days a year and elderly parents who live abroad so I need to be able to see them. I can't afford to take annual leave every time a friend of mine or DH's comes to visit. I'd have nothing left. While I am now better at having boundaries a few years back we had people stay with us in one form or another for 6 weeks over the course of the year.

We now go about our daily grind. Direct our guests to the fridge, the shops and the bus stop that will take the to tourist attractions. We meet them for dinner every night and either cook or go out. If we are very lucky, we might have them offer to take us out. We used to book annual leave (DH and I swapping around) and play tour guide. But we simply can't do that anymore because it was too intrusive for our reality of needing actual annual leave for us as well.

I think you will have an absolute blast going around Madrid. I recommend popping into the lobby of a hotel and picking up a city guide and some leaflets about attractions that you might find interesting. I bet you love it. And you will see your friend in the evenings which will be great! She;d probably love some downtime after work chatting and drinking cocktails.

Have a wonderful time!

Personally I would LOVE this. There’s nothing like mooching by yourself in a city like Madrid! Madrid is fabulous and so much to see and do!

I’d not be angry, I’d see it as an amazing opportunity!

Start looking up the many, many things Madrid has to see and do. Find out as much as you can about its history, and how to get around.
It's a very compact city so it's perfect for you to look around. Go the the Prado with its excellent, huge, varied collection and look at the Hieronymous Bosch paintings and the Velazquez paintings and the painting/map diagrams that guilds and victorious armies used to comission.
if you're into fashion, take the bus or the Metro out to the costume museum.
Go out to Legazpi, where they've put the motorway underground, renaturalised the Manzanares river and made the old abattoirs on into greenhouses and a cultural centre.
You can take a day trip to Toledo or Segovia by bus or Alcalar de Henares by train. They're nice places to visit, especially if you take a little time to research them.
Maybe you'll end up shoe shopping and eating nice things and not seeing everything on your list, but you'll still have a good time if you just take matters into your own hands.

Two days with her and two days alone is the perfect balance!
I stayed with a friend in NYC. She was a lawyer working insane hours, so got home late every day and only had one day off. But I still had a great time! I touristed all day and we caught up on the evening, and made the most of her day off.

I would never expect a friend living in another country (especially in a location that meant they had a lot of visitors) to take precious time off for me.