Travelling abroad to see a friend and she hasn't booked time off work

[seeitthroughmyeyes]

Hi all, long story short, I worked in an industry where everything is done via teams and online with occasionally travel abroad.
I made very good friends with a colleague who lives in Spain. She left the company last year and have both promised to meet in person.
I took the plunge and said I'll come out and see you this year once I know my dates with work etc. we both arranged a date for me to come out and I booked the flights there and then. We've not spoken much since as life gets in the way and we no longer work together everyday, which is fine.

Anyway, we were messaging today and I asked her what the plan was when I arrive and I've found out she 'couldn't' take the Friday off work because someone else at her job had and they require 3 people in the team. This is fine, no worries, would've just like to have known.

Also, it's bank holiday in the UK Monday so I'm not flying until late evening so I could spend as much time there with her. I've also found out, it's not a bank holiday in Spain and she hasn't managed to get that time off either. So for two of the days I'm going to be loitering around Spain by myself and a bit nagged off I've spent this money only to see her for two days.

I am hugely grateful that I do not have to pay for any accommodation, as I will be staying with her but AIBU to think she could've at least told me?

Two days with someone you don't know super well is a lot! I've done this even with close friends when I lived abroad because I didn't want to spend my annual leave repeating the same city tour with everyone, I'd send them out with suggestions of things to do (I'm sure your friend can point you in the direction for Madrid, there are nice parks and cafes for strolls and people watching and amazing museums!). YANBU to be daunted by having the time to yourself if you're not used to it, but she's not done anything rude. Hope you enjoy the solo travel and the evenings/weekend with your friend!

Indeed. They're on different dates abroad. Many other countries such as Spain have more public holidays than us.

You’re going to Madrid and this Is all you can think to do?! My mind is blown 😂

Honestly people only have so much leave so when someone invites themselves over they have to eat into their holiday allowance to entertain you. I think it sounds fine tbh. It’s a bit of pain when people come to visit us as we are far away so we got two week visits. If the entire time is booked off thats a whole family holiday gone for us.

It’s not a holiday for her- she’s in her home town staying in her own house. I’d be annoyed if someone expected me to book time off work just because they were visiting me. I’d expect to spend time with them on weekend and evenings (which is already quite intense and means no downtime for the host).

So yes, YABU and luckily Madrid Is a great place for solo travel.

2 days with her, 2 to explore on your own- sounds perfect. There is so much to do in Madrid.

@seeitthroughmyeyes

Perhaps she hasn't booked time off work because like many other countries she has fixed holidays (ie August)

Perhaps she hasn't booked time off work because she doesn't know you and doesn't feel like giving up her holiday bookings to act as a free guide

Please don't just sit around drinking all day. There really is far more to travel than cheap booze.

I don’t know- you’re kind of there for the weekend, so I can see why she thought she could spend all weekend with you, she didn’t know that in your head Monday is a day off. I wouldn’t be impressed by any ‘I’ve never been in a strange town on my own’ either, it’s Madrid not Johannesburg. I’ve travelled on my own since I was a teenager and I’d think you’re certainly old enough to start!

I think it's ok, you'll find loads to do in Madrid on your own, not like you're going to be stuck in some tiny village. Make a plan of things you can do before you go, or just sit and have a glass of wine and watch the world go by

Do some googling now, and see exactly where she lives. If she is not very central, consider whether it makes more sense to dump your bags at the left luggage spot in the main station so you can get going immediately. We did this for an afternoon in Verona and it was so much more convenient.

Quite! It would take maybe 15 seconds to google ‘what to do in 24 hours in Madrid’ and skim answers.

If you were going to be stuck in the middle of nowhere without transport, I might have some sympathy, but you're in a city with lots to explore. Just Google top 10 things to do in Madrid, take your pick and get planning.

I've just toured 4 Spanish cities with some friends. I did all the planning and booking of sightseeing trips and trains from my sofa at home. Get a sense of adventure and crack on! You don't really know this person that well, so a couple of days together constantly will be enough - you should welcome some time alone.

It's fine, that's still plenty of time to see her and exploring a city on your own is exciting.

If I was to go to any city alone it would be Madrid - just get your trainers on and wander. El Retiro park as already suggested is beautiful.

You’ve got 2 days on your own in a major city. It’s hardly leaving you isolated in the countryside is it? I’m sure you can entertain yourself. I’d be delighted to be able to explore and do my own thong

This sounds like a dream for me 😆 bring a good book, see if there any sightseeing must dis, find a walking tour etc or just relax

I haven't been for years but I recall it being a good city you could do solo. All very walkable, but there was a good bus tour with 2 or 3 routes that you could hop on and off. Museums etc. you'll have a great time! Maybe buy a little travel guide?

Cocktails in the sun, alone.
That’s my idea of heaven! X

Yep this stood out to me too...

As others have said, you'll see her in the evenings and at the weekend. You're a grown woman. Why wouldn't you be capable of finding things to do for yourself whilst she's at work?

I've moved abroad alone several times in my adult life. Whenever friends and family have come to visit they've always expected to entertain themselves during the working day! What is honestly so difficult about exploring somewhere alone?

Seriously? You are going to the capital city of Spain and can’t think of ways to entertain yourself for two days? 🤔

I suspect OP wouldn’t even eat in McDonalds alone.

Your friend is not being unreasonable at all!

We lived abroad in a touristy place. We couldn’t take lots of leave every time we had visitors as we’d have no leave left and we’d be broke from all the expensive tourist stuff anyway.

Usually we gave them a house key and a city map, and a lift to the train station or the taxi number and let them get on with it. Have a lovely dinner in the evening. I think fri and Mon alone and sat sun with your friend sounds perfect.

If you are really worried about striking out on your own, book a guided tour of Madrid....

Come on, OP, you expect an ex-colleague you've never actually met in person to take two days of annual leave, as well as offering you free accommodation, because you're afraid of Abroad, and you didn't understand that different countries have different public holidays?