Travelling abroad to see a friend and she hasn't booked time off work

[seeitthroughmyeyes]

Hi all, long story short, I worked in an industry where everything is done via teams and online with occasionally travel abroad.
I made very good friends with a colleague who lives in Spain. She left the company last year and have both promised to meet in person.
I took the plunge and said I'll come out and see you this year once I know my dates with work etc. we both arranged a date for me to come out and I booked the flights there and then. We've not spoken much since as life gets in the way and we no longer work together everyday, which is fine.

Anyway, we were messaging today and I asked her what the plan was when I arrive and I've found out she 'couldn't' take the Friday off work because someone else at her job had and they require 3 people in the team. This is fine, no worries, would've just like to have known.

Also, it's bank holiday in the UK Monday so I'm not flying until late evening so I could spend as much time there with her. I've also found out, it's not a bank holiday in Spain and she hasn't managed to get that time off either. So for two of the days I'm going to be loitering around Spain by myself and a bit nagged off I've spent this money only to see her for two days.

I am hugely grateful that I do not have to pay for any accommodation, as I will be staying with her but AIBU to think she could've at least told me?

Ps and at least Madrid won’t be closed down for a Bank Holiday - bonus!

You need to grow up and put your big girl pants on. You are a grown woman who doesn’t need a babysitter. There is plenty to do on your own in the city. It will be good for you and your confidence. And you will have plenty to talk about when you take your friend out for drinks and dinner as a thank you for hosting you.

I couldn’t think of anything better than having time to myself to wander the sights and coffee shops of a beautiful Spanish city! Enjoy and eat plenty of tapas washed down by wine!

This isn't about what you can do in Spain it's about your expectation that your former colleague would take time off.
I just wouldn't expect her to, firstly you haven't met her in person and you invited yourself over. She is spending Friday evening, Saturday and Sunday. If I was her I might actually think it's a bit much to organise 4 days with someone I have not met in person.

YABU.
I personally would prefer to spend more time on my own to explore the city with a bit of catching up time with my friend.
Fantastic opp, don't be a killjoy

You’ve never met before 😬😬

My host in NYC was someone I'd never met before. But we'd communicated frequently within a travel community online and others there had met her.

That's one of the reasons I was comfortable with her working while I was there. I thought it was better for her too. She was the one talking the risk of hosting me! What if she'd not liked real-life me? She'd have been grateful to escape to the office!

Fortunately it worked out really well and we both really enjoyed it and liked each other every bit as much as we'd expected to, if not more!

You are so lucky! My idea of heaven is a couple of days in Madrid. Three world class art galleries - the Prado, Reina Sofia and the Thyssen Borenmissa (may have misspelt that one) Enjoy!

"I took the plunge and said I'll come out and see you this year once I know my dates with work etc."
So you invited yourself on days to suit your work schedule but it does not necessarily follow that they suit hers. People can't always take time off work because friends come to visit but you can still have a nice time as others have suggested.

This arrangement is the standard one I have with my friends when I am visiting them from another country. I entertain myself on the Friday and meet them in the evening after work, we spend Saturday and Sunday together, Monday I do what I want on my own until my plane leaves.

On my alone days I go sightseeing to places my friends have been 100s of times before but are new to me, go shopping, eat a nice lunch and people watch from a cafe etc.

You can't expect people to spend their annual leave on showing you around their home area. They will want to spend it going somewhere new and interesting on holiday too.

Old person generally likes to go all out when posting…

You worked with this woman, she must have had the Spanish public holidays off and worked on some of your UK public holidays, at least that’s what my Spanish colleagues do. How could you NOT know that other countries have different public holidays?

You do sound a bit needy if you can’t spend a bit of time exploring a fabulous city by yourself, sorry.

Sounds amazing! You get to catch up with your friend for a couple of days and also get to do some adventuring of your own, without having to pay any accommodation costs. I'm sure your friend can give you a few ideas of how to spend your time on Monday. Hope you are having a great weekend!

Maybe she thought you might not go ahead with the plan, no excuse I know but people can sometimes expect others to let them down. Although in retrospect she’s let you down.
How long are you going for? I think the time to yourself will be a wonderful experience.

seeitithroughmyeyes. Please come back and tell us how well you did.

I wouldn’t say the friend has let her down. AFAIA, she never said she would take time off when OP came to visit. I would never be able to take time off everytime my friends and family came to visit from abroad, it would use up all my holiday allowance.

They may not be called bank holidays specifically but they are national days of some description. E.g. tomorrow is also a "bank holiday" in the US, it's Memorial Day.

Check out the churches big and small for free lunch time music/ choir practice. I know a flamenco dancer who worked in Madrid so there are dance companies there as well.
Google for a market and supermarket to get lunch one day. It's a great way to see the differences in food compared to what you're used to.
You will surprise yourself as sightseeing alone is fab as you can go where you want without an hour debate about it 🤣
Then will have the evenings to catch up with your friend and share with her your favourite bits of her city.
I am very envious as am looking forward to being able to travel alone again when DS hits 18 in a few years!

You have a nice balance of alone time and company. I think you'll really enjoy your stay and be proud of yourself that you've done some exploring by yourself.

Madrid is such a beautiful city and has so much for a solo traveller. El Retiro Park is stunning as is the palace. The Prado gallery is massive and would swallow up a few hours. So much culture in Madrid, one of my very favourite places.

In the U.K. the second May Bank holiday is based in Christian tradition. When I was growing up it was known as Whitsun, an old fashioned word for Pentecost. There used to be Whit marches where little kids would parade in white clothes. Nowadays it is often assigned a date quite a long way from Pentecost to stop it clashing with the early May bank/public holiday.

The first May bank holiday is a comparatively recent addition. It was introduced by a Labour government back in the late 70s. I was a teenager and my family were quite conservative and were very cross that this 'communist' festival was being forced on us.

I spend a lot of time in France and `Ireland and I find that they adhere more closely to the original holy dates for BH than we do (eg Pentecost was last Sunday 19 and Monday 20 was a holiday in France whereas here the holiday will be Monday 27). They also get All Saints Day off (November 1st). That would be great.

Madrid - alone! Heaven. I love, love, love travelling alone - find a good walking tour, bus tour, look into what is happening in the area. Take full advantage of this time to do what you want, when you want.

google! I spent two days alone in Singapore, the two days in Sydney. Was the most exciting time of my life!

You absolutely don’t have to sit alone and get drunk🫣.

YABVU for working for a multinational and assuming all countries have the same public holidays as the UK.
YABU for expecting someone to host you and take time off without having discussed it first. If I visit a friend overseas (including a weekend) I never ask them to take time off, we’ll be together over the weekend, and in the meantime I enjoy doing touristy stuff alone. Same if we have people come to stay with us in london - no way am I taking precious time off to visit one of the hellholes they insist will be fun- Madame Tussaud’s, M&M World etc - nope! 😆

I would understand if you were going somewhere rural or quiet but there is so much to do in Madrid! It's an incredible city. I think it's fine too spend the two days doing whatever you want, meet her in the evening and spend the other two days together. I actually think I'd prefer that balance to 4 full days together especially since you don't spend much time together normally. I also think you're coming across a little intense. I would spend some time researching things to do and see and make a list of what you'd like to experience and then do that when she's busy so you have a plan.

Yeah she should’ve told you!

but just drop off your bags and hit up the tourist attractions, museums, churches, other must do’s. Walking tour. It’s fantastic doing alone. Plus she’s done them and will appreciate not going again.

then enjoy your time with her.

You can easily amuse yourself in Madrid for 2 days. It’s probably nicer than being in each others pockets for 4 days. I can’t believe you even posted this. Maybe she wants to save all her money and AL for her summer holidays.
i also think she has probably done all the touristy stuff before so will not want to spend her time and money on it with you. Totally reasonable of her.