To feel repulsed by my husband and hate my life right now?

[cookiedoughh]

I’m typing this as I’m lying in my 8 year old daughters room. I’m miserable. I got everything ready for work and the kids stuff for morning and just wanted to drop into bed but yet another night where I feel sick as I walked into mine and husbands bedroom and the stink of faeces just hits me! He’s gone to the toilet in the Ensuite and not sprayed and I know there will be disgusting marks left in toilet which he won’t clean. I feel so sick I couldn’t even take my contacts out. I’m too tired to find the air freshener which one of the kids has moved. If it’s not the disgusting smell he leaves he snores and a few times when I’ve told him I’ve got an important day at work and please not to wake me up I’m woken to him banging around the room looking for things and also I feel embarrassed writing this but he’s been wanking himself whilst I’ve tried to sleep. That’s why I always let him go up first and then I go to bed around 10:45/11:00. I’m knackered, I just want to sleep and have a good night sleep. I feel
so sleep deprived. Even tonight in my DD’s room I won’t have a good night sleep as she will be tossing n turning in her sleep and bed is so tiny I will wake up to an arm or leg hitting me (obviously she’s not doing on purpose). I’m sorry to write this on here but I’m so fed up I’m just really fed up of my life. I just need some sleep. I often nap after coming from work (try to) but kids wake me up, I put tv in for them but can’t even manage 10 mins nap.

sorry for any typos and sorry for TMI.

If you co sleeping with dc regularly buy a double bed for their room

@DistinguishedSocialCommentator Correct. Everyone knows you don't dump in the en suite. Especially before bed.

@cestlavielife DC 8yo shouldn't have to start bed sharing with mum because dad is a filthy inconsiderate wanker, double bed or not.

Ewwww. You poor thing OP. I would not live with a subpar pig like this. Gather your strength. Imagine a future with peace and a calm, clean home. Aim for that.

No wonder 50% of marriages ends in divorce. Do you not communicate with your husband?

It's really not that difficult to tell him to not poo in the ensuite before bed.

That is really gross, no wonder you are miserable OP. My DH wouldn’t dream of using our en-suite and do something like that, because he is considerate and respectful, he always uses the other bathroom for big jobs. The en-suite is my domain. I do allow DS’s girlfriend to use my en-suite, if someone is using the main bathroom. But otherwise it’s mine 😂.

I don't think this would bother you if it wasn't a metaphor for his general inconsiderateness in your relationship and your helpless frustration in the face of it.

I mean wanking and shitting are normal behaviours. I think plotting divorce is a bit drastic. Surely op just needs to sit down and have a conversation with her husband about this 😂

Honestly. He's lying in bed next to his wife whom he fancies. Nature will happen and boys will be boys. When did you last let him make love to you? Years ago? Love making is better than any sleeping tablet.

Ask him very nicely not to dump in the en suite, and ask him to use the bog brush. And please do it without having a row.

But divorce, for this???? He doesn't choose to snore.

I really think a couple of sessions of couples' therapy would do you both a world of good. I wish you both all the best, and lots of good happy times together.

Not for women it's not - research shows that sex knocks men out, but wakes women up. So it has more benefits for men in that respect than women.

He's probably knocking one out to porn rather than his sleeping wife.

And who wants sex with someone who stinks out the whole house and leaves skidders - probably not just in the toilet bowl either. YUCK. No thanks.

"let him"? Grim.

Boys will be boys? Is that where we are? My Christ.

Actually the more I read this, the worse it gets. Holy shit.

I just don’t think there is anyway to come back from being repulsed by someone. It’s the ultimate ick. Marriage ending.

Threads like this on Mumsnet are increasingly the reason why I will remain single forever. The bliss of never having to deal with someone else's skidders!

To have and to hold,
In sickness and in health,
Until death do us part.

...or you take a particularly stinky shit in the ensuite.

Seriously, those egging on OP for a divorce are ridiculous.

Op needs a good night's sleep and a frank discussion with DH on what is and isn't acceptable going forward.

Ignore the menz trolls. Saddos love a response... 😎

You seem like a really lovely person

The fact that he even needs to be told is the dealbreaker.

I wouldn't have an en suite if it were handed to me on a silver salver. This is one of many reasons.

He sounds inconsiderate and grim. What was the initial attraction?

That conversation would kill the relationship for me.

I prefer men who have the rock-bottom couth and self-respect and respect for me to keep private things private. I've never had a conversation with anyone about his bowel movements, hygiene or proper toilet etiquette, and am not about to start now. They either get it, or they don't, and the ones who don't get it don't get a second chance with me. Ugggggghh.

If this is real (???) I think honestly go sleep in another room permanently and get a divorce.

Same. If I ever ever had to explain to a man why waking me up with his nightly wank while lying next to me, and a pre bed dump in the en suite weren't a good idea, it would just be a nope from me. It's just so basic and gross, why would you want to be with a man who you had to beg not to crack one off every night and keep you awake, or was completely unaware that his shit stinks, literally.

The man with whom that conversation is necessary, is of no interest to me at all. Absolutely no way I'd be balancing on the edge of an 8 year olds bed at 3am to stay away from him while working out in what new way I could broach the conversation to make it all stop. The whole thing is just so boggo, why on earth would you want this for yourself?

Book a holiday for yourself, spend 10 days in some exotic location. Get a tan, while sunbathing with a margarita on one hand and looking at the hot pool boy decide where your life is going and what to do about it. You might want to serve that pig of a husband with divorce papers when you come back. Don’t feel one gram of guilt.

Because however off putting talking about wanking and smelly poo's is, it's still preferable to breaking up the home of an 8 year old.

Honestly, the pathetic, petty, mundane crap that people think it's fine to get a divorce over blows my mind.

“Your father stunk out the bathroom so we’re leaving”. I agree it’s off-putting, selfish, thoughtless and disrespectful. I’d loathe him with a passion

If he's that gross, what makes you think he'll listen?

His behaviour shows he's an inconsiderate pig