To feel repulsed by my husband and hate my life right now?

[cookiedoughh]

I’m typing this as I’m lying in my 8 year old daughters room. I’m miserable. I got everything ready for work and the kids stuff for morning and just wanted to drop into bed but yet another night where I feel sick as I walked into mine and husbands bedroom and the stink of faeces just hits me! He’s gone to the toilet in the Ensuite and not sprayed and I know there will be disgusting marks left in toilet which he won’t clean. I feel so sick I couldn’t even take my contacts out. I’m too tired to find the air freshener which one of the kids has moved. If it’s not the disgusting smell he leaves he snores and a few times when I’ve told him I’ve got an important day at work and please not to wake me up I’m woken to him banging around the room looking for things and also I feel embarrassed writing this but he’s been wanking himself whilst I’ve tried to sleep. That’s why I always let him go up first and then I go to bed around 10:45/11:00. I’m knackered, I just want to sleep and have a good night sleep. I feel
so sleep deprived. Even tonight in my DD’s room I won’t have a good night sleep as she will be tossing n turning in her sleep and bed is so tiny I will wake up to an arm or leg hitting me (obviously she’s not doing on purpose). I’m sorry to write this on here but I’m so fed up I’m just really fed up of my life. I just need some sleep. I often nap after coming from work (try to) but kids wake me up, I put tv in for them but can’t even manage 10 mins nap.

sorry for any typos and sorry for TMI.

Divorce over a shit is a bit reductive. Is this what it's like living with you too? @Confusedmum74858

Given the choice of another location would you choose to do a bowel movement at bedtime in the en-suite?
Regularly leave a pan full of skid marks behind you, and presume someone else your husband would be happy to clean it?
Do you masturbate repeatedly lying in bed next to your husband to the point where he can't sleep so has to get in bed with an eight year old as that would be more peaceful?
Like making loads of noise in the bedroom so it wakes everyone up?

Maybe you should ask OP for his number, he'll be on the market soon if he sounds like a catch to you.

He can help the snoring. If it's that loud it's waking someone up then it needs to be dealt with.

My husband has just been accepted for a CPAP machine to use at night. A sleep study showed he has severe sleep apnoea. We've had ten years of him fighting with medical professionals to get the sleep study done. His dad and brother both have a CPAP too as they too have snored.

@Chocolateorange22 ,

How loud is the CPAP machine? Is it actually better for your sleep?

I think they are pretty loud from when I have seen them in a hospital setting.

@Newbutoldfather

It's not his fault he snores, !

Its unreasonably and not fair @cookiedoughh,
husband does nor seek help that he snores so 🤷 loud such as seeing his doctor for help,

He could open the bathroom window after he craps and use natural products air freshener if they don't like sickly manufacturing chemical air freshener product,

He could be a lot more considerate 🙄 as a husband by not making so much noise in their bedroom clattering about,

He could be a lot more supportive husband to his wife,

It's easy to clean shit stains from a toilet

I am disabled woman with Rumertoid and Oestro athritis and i am capable of keeping my toilet clean,
No excuses for this, !

@cookiedoughh husband is also a lazy inconsiderate Shit or Arsehole 💩💩💩

I think OP you need a night away to get some sleep, eat and try and fill your cup. You'll be in a better position mentally to deal with him. Maybe an ultimatum for him to start changing. It depends whether you want to communicate with him to save your marriage or move on.

The snoring- ask him to see his GP query sleep apnoea
The wanking- ask him to be considerate and do it elsewhere
The shitting- ask him to use the toilet elsewhere and clean up after himself
The banging around- ask him to sort his shit out the night before

In regards to the last one. When my husband was on early shifts he would put all his stuff in the main bathroom the night before. He'd climb out of bed, get ready and bugger off before I'd even stirred. The ensuite light would wake me up so having communicated with him we came to a resolution. There is absolutely no need to be so bloody inconsiderate.

All these things put together sound less like disgusting habits and more like deliberate acts of passive aggression. How does he treat you generally? Because it sounds to me he is using actions to demonstrate a contempt for you he hasn't got the guts to be honest about. If you have any remaining desire to stay in the marriage, you need a serious conversation based around why he thinks these things are ok, and leaving him in no doubt they are not.

I'm disgusted reading about him. Big hugs OP you sound dejected and exhausted. You deserve better

En-suites are a grim invention. Usually windowless and only opens on to your bedroom.

Anyway yeah separate bedrooms or separate lives. This can’t go on!

Snoring he can’t help. But I think the shit stains and wanking are a sign of complete lack of respect for you. But why does he think shit stains are acceptable? I suspect you’ve enabled it over the years instead of putting your foot down. Time to draw a massive line in the sand and stick to it op. No good seething and being miserable but then dutifully cleaning up after him. Tell him to shape up or ship out. And mean it.

@billyt So sorry for your loss 🤗

Your DH is being very inconsiderate.

My husband snores like a chain saw. Going to the doc helped a little. After many years with broken sleep, we are now in separate bedrooms. Things are a lot happier.

It's so fucking depressing that women on here use the misogynistic term Karen as an insult.

OP - run for the hills!

Oh dear… calling other women Karen. You lost the moral high ground right there.

Oh come on!

He knows what he's doing and he doesn't care!

She could talk till she's blue in the face - won't make a shred of difference

People showing that level of disrespect won't change

He doesn't clear his shit away. He doesn't care that the smell is in the bedroom, There is another bathroom.

He wanks Next To His Wife! She's trying to sleep - that's acceptable to you is it?

And he doesn't care about waking her up when she's exhausted

You clearly have a low bar

Why are you minimising?

a) what the OP has posted is pretty disgusting
and b) how come so many of you missed out 'inference and deduction' in your comprehension lessons at school?

Selfishness and boorishness.

Downstairs bathrooms ftw!

I'm baffled by the comprehension levels to be fair

And the OP should have to do that after a grown man, should she?

Oh fuck off calling another woman Karen, shame on you. @arethereanyleftatall 's response to your post was completely reasonable considering you didn't mention your son's LD and just mentioned VIpoo and scrubbing the toilet, which can very easily be read as a "just crack on and clean up after the stinky man" comment. Not even sure why your son's shit was relevant to the discussion since your situation is so wildly different from the OP's.

What does he do with his cum? How disgusting. I agree OP, sounds like life would be easier for you if you split and shared custody (would he?). You'd have your own space and some time to yourself to sleep when he has the kids.

There's just no need is there? It's basic courtesy; e needs to use the master bathroom, not the en suite.

Personally, when I've "been" I check to make sure there's no evidence around the bowl and if there is it is removed and it all gets bleached. If there's an aroma then the odour neutraliser comes out. I'm single but I wouldn't let my teenager deal with what you're dealing with.

The snoring is a difficult one but everything else is just a total lack of respect.

wrong!!

IMO, a stench like that - DO NOT USE the enuite

we have an ensuit - its of a good size, powerful extractor but like the ground floor w/c, we NEVER use it for a number 2 as it is rank, disgusting unless you cant mange to access other toilets etc