To wish woman didn’t have to work

[Blueberryancakes]

I think I was born in the wrong decade.

Somedays/Most days I wish I lived in the days when once a woman got married she would give up work. Stay at home have children, cook and clean.

I know it’s such an anti feminist opinion but I guess that’s how I feel.

I enjoy cooking and cleaning. I hate going to work. I wish we lived in a time when 1 wage would pay the bills.

Anyone else think like me?
I know woman now have so many career options nowadays but house wife seems to be a very privileged one.

My mum stopped work when she got married and didn't work again until I (the youngest) was 13 years old and even then it was part time until just packing it in permanently just 8 years later (when she was 51 yr old)

She never did seem to realize what a charmed life she led. However she made me realize what i didn't want

She put that much pressure on my dad to earn and pay off the mortgage early without contributing

Thank you. This, x1000.

But also, there’s no fucking victory in freeing yourself from the frying pan of your capitalist overlords to be dependent on your husband instead. You’ve just shifted yourself from a contractual agreement, with legal protections, into dependency on someone else’s good will.

And please, please don’t trot out “but my Nigel is a good guy and would never do that, and I’d never fall for it if he tried”. I honestly don’t know how you can read these boards for even a few days and think that you just happen to have better judgement than all those other, silly women who ended up in toxic, terrifying entrapment. They didn’t start off that way.

Interesting! Is this a thing??

Wow. Who needs men to make us women feel like shit, when we've got other women doing it! Your mum didn't contribute? You clearly mean 'FINANCIALLY!' Well so fucking what?!

You seriously think that the ONLY way anyone can 'contribute' is financially?! Women (stay-at-home-mums) contribute massively towards raising, and looking after, and nurturing the family/the children, and looking after house and home (and her HUSBAND!) The fact you said your mother DIDN'T CONTRIBUTE is utterly disgraceful. Shame on you!

Absolutely not, I can’t think of anything worse

Ridiculous. What the hell has it got to do with being a woman, OP?
Oh- you've gone

Why do people always say the “menz” on here?

Exactly. Besides, if she hadn’t been home with the kids, he’d either have to watch them himself (and make less money) or spend money on childcare.

Fine if you enjoy cleaning and cooking all day op. I don’t see that as a privilege at all.

Of course. If they are unhappy though due to management or whatever it may be, they can still find a new job where they may be happier.

Yes, I did and it’s why I wanted to be a SAHM myself.

There were periods of time when my mum was a SAHM and during those, the whole household was happier; less stressed; everything was smoother and we had more quality time together because she wasn’t so busy.

Read it properly.

she wanted the mortgage paid off early and put huge pressure on the posters dad to do so.

if she wanted the mortgage paid off early she could have got a job and contributed to paying it.

the poster did not say she didn’t contribute to the marriage.

Amen me too!! I hate these women that are like what do you do all day.. is it not boring… your life must be so dull etc etc.
It’s far more exciting to go to Legoland or even a playgroup on a random Wednesday than it is to sit in an office!

The sahms I know were happy in the primary school years, and really enjoyed it, however, when the secondary school years began and the teens began rebelling or being out of the house more often, separating from parents etc, the mum really struggled. One of my friends sat at home stewing and worrying with nothing to distract her. Her son treated her like a skivvy. I think it’s only best to be a sahm until the kids are young say age 8 ish.

Tbh what you really want is to not work and have a cook and a chef. Anybody who says they’d hate not working simply doesn’t have any friends or hobbies

@OvalLemon My husband would 100% rather go to Disney with the kids than work in the office. Imagine a world where he announced that from tomorrow he was sick of work and was giving it up and I would have to single handedly earn to keep the family going…

This privilege of staying at home is ONLY enabled by having one adult in the relationship work. If we want true choice then we have to accept that men also find work dull, boring and tedious. And should be free to quit to stay at home and expect their wives to pick up the slack.

Nope. Anyone who hates working doesn’t have an interesting enough job. I have friends and hobbies, but my job provides intellectual stretch and a sense of purpose that neither of those things could easily fulfil. Sounds like you need a better job!

I had a working mother. She was a very good mother. She never picked me up from school (I took the school bus) and I never felt like I missed anything. She was there when I needed it but she had a very successful career. In fact once I left for University her career far out stripped my dad’s.

Actually I choose not to have a job! And my career I left was about as high flying and exciting not to mention well paid as they come but I value my children and family more.

Work isn't necessarily more meaningful but women have to recognise what they need. If I had stayed at home I would have been miserable indeed and I love my daughter beyond anything. I did what was right for us both.

Not so. Intellectual challenge for me was vital.

100% they all would. I appreciate my husband so much more for working harder and longer so that I can have a choice.

Hahaha! I believe you…

Btw, those of us who choose to have careers rather than rely on a man value our children too. Love the implication that we don’t!

I don't get the capitalist argument either. So many arguments about women being stuck in offices, slaving away for capitalist organisations yet these women are quite happy for their partners to work for these awful capitalist companies in order to let them stay at home!

There's a stunning lack of imagination from some people on this thread. Not all jobs are boring or involve sitting in offices all day. Some parents are better having the balance of work and mothering. Going to playgroups and toddler groups makes me want to stick razor blades in my eyes. I'd much rather be at work. Does it mean I don't love spending time with my child or a worse mum for it. Of course not. He gets plenty quality time with me!

I've never had any desire to be a stay at home parent.

Neither has my DH.

I have a rewarding and fulfilling career.

I have hobbies and interests

I love my children and enjoy raising them.

I have a DH who is an equal partner

These are the opportunities and choices feminism and the women before me (who all worked) has given me.

If you prefer and chose to live your life differently to me. That's great.

But you are no better than me. I'm not jealous of you. I don't want your life.

Enjoy yours and I will enjoy mine.