To think my best friend is taking the piss

[Findingthisweekhard]

Me best friends daughter and dd are in the same year at the same school. I have older and younger children too and she also has a 1 year old. She’s got a 1 year old and has recently gone back to work full time, her husband also works full time.
She has no formal childcare. She was due to use the same childminder as me but changed her mind last minute as they didn’t want to pay for it.
Now almost weekly she’s asking me to pick up her school age dd and have her after school until she finishes work. Last week I had a day annual leave with my young kids at the childminder as some much needed down time, the night before she messaged begging me to have her little one for the day as she had no other options and had to go in to the office (she does twice a week). I reluctantly agreed and it was awful. My chilled day wondering the shops and lunch with my sister turned in to me rocking a buggy for hours, eating my lunch stood up bouncing him and just generally miserable.
shes just messaged me again asking to do the school run and it’s given me absolute rage.
ive dropped my hours to part time and pay for wrap around childcare on my office days and a childminder for all my working hours so we have less disposable income but live within our means. She’s taking advantage of this, to their benefit of 2 full time salaries and no childcare costs.
she really is my best friend but this can’t go on, aibu to stop collecting her child from school when I’m there collecting mine anyway?

That's a great response, you clearly have a solid friendship. Well done for communicating with each other - It's not always easy!

Ah that’s the best response from your pal @Findingthisweekhard - well done both of you x

It's moved on a bit @Grammarnut. Catch up! 😆

Really pleased. This is what friendship should be about.

Fairs fair I wasn't expecting that response. She was cheeky for deciding to make do without actually including you on the decision! But at least she has acknowledged it and hopefully things will improve.

That's a great response from your friend OP and shows the value of standing up for yourself and making and maintaining good boundaries. 👏👏

❤️👯‍♀️

Well done OP!x

Good response although lol that your day of adult time apparently wouldn’t have been ruined if the 1 year old wasn’t teething!

Flippin heck she sounds really entitled.😳

You both sound like really nice people. I can see why you're best friends! Well done for letting her know how you were feeling, rather than expecting her to read your mind. 😊

I think under the circumstances that’s a good result.

most people try to not take full responsibility for their behaviour and that is in there but she also is trying to show she cares about your friendship and your resulting feelings towards the situation she put you in.

id take this as a win and try to move on with each other.

just keep an eye on the behaviour slipping back once she thinks the dust has settled.
you now have the responsibility of making sure you keep your new boundaries enforced. People who take advantage do so when they are allowed so if you want to keep the friendship you need to present yourself in a way that doesn’t allow her to overstep again.
hopfully she won’t though and this has been a wake up call for her.

Muddle through til with “help” from family and friends until SEPTEMBER?!?! Wow! Good job you drew that boundary now. Well done on tackling it head on OP.

I’m still 🤦‍♀️ that anyone can plan to work full time with no childcare organised at all for a 1 yr old…

well done and what a great response from your friend. Hopefully you can move past this and keep the friendship intact

Well done for tackling it head on. Goes to show that standing up for yourself and setting boundaries can avoid a lot of piss-taking, resentment and confusion. Enjoy the spa 😎

I think the response is ok, she got caught out and couldn't really say much else. I would be very careful that she is softening you up for more "favours". Take it at face value for now and go ahead as normal but keep your radar out

September! Three months away! Enjoy your days off in the summer, and don’t cave when ‘…it’s an emergency’. The phone call will come.

Decent response. You had def already gone above and beyond so next time anything like this nip it in the bid immediately! I find as I get older I am far more open with people if I'm pd off and have no problems at all saying no.

A great response really. Still very cheeky that she thought she could “make do” until her funding kicks in- even though make do doesn’t really impact them but impacts you! But I’m glad she replied nicely and has realised how silly she was. Let her treat you to a lovely spa day and wine! Make up for your lost relaxing day before.

I'm really glad you had a sensible response from her. And you've dodged a bullet if she was planning to keep asking until September!

Only read the OP posts and just wanted to say fair play! I think you’ve handled this very well and she seems to have taken it well also?

All things considered, I think that's probably a pretty good response. I think the point about September is probably key - in her head, this was a temp situation and you were helping her out. Vs a situation that could and should have been avoided and you had gone far beyond helping her out.

Graciously accept the apology, have a giggle about the mistakes we all make and move on.

Well done, op. You put boundaries in place and your friend's reply is very decent. You both sound like good people with a good friendship!

That's a great response from your friend 😊 she obviously values your friendship and realises that she has taken the piss a bit asking for help. Have a lovely spa day with wine and a good catch up!

Thank god for a reasonable response -I was expecting much worse and from the first part of the message I actually thought it was going into passive aggressive/sarcasm territory. I don't feel you are quite home free yet- you'll need to make sure you don't get dragged back in by sad and desperate messages -but a good result.