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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To expect rest of family to chip in for our room upgrade?

164 replies

RedJamBiscuits · 21/05/2024 11:25

We are going away for a family holiday (myself who is heavily pregnant, DH, DD 13, DS 1) with my DH’s family (in one room MIL & FIL, in another room BIL, SIL, 2 nieces both 5 and nephew 12, and us in our own room). MIL sorted the booking out with her TA friend, and assured us we all had appropriate rooms. She said her TA knew we needed a one bedroom apt with a sofa bed in the living room, seeing as we have an infant and a teen - both who are obviously on wildly different sleeping patterns, and baby still gets up during night as well as getting up at 6 on the dot every AM. And of course baby goes to sleep much earlier than all of us in general, so want to make sure we don’t disturb him while we are sat on our balcony at night too.

DH agreed to just split the cost of the holiday in three, even though tbh I didn’t feel that was very fair considering we only have one child to pay for and BIL has 3. Either way, it was agreed to and done.

Fast forward to now and I was doing my own digging in to the holiday and what it is going to be like as I like to be prepared. I have never let anyone book a holiday for us before and I’m the kind of weirdo who takes a folder so I know everything is correct and booked and in control 🤣 I realised that what Jet2 call a standard room is actually a STUDIO. We have 1 door in to the room, a double bed next to a single bed, a bit of room next to that for a cot, and then a door out to the balcony. That’s it. I freak out to DH because we’ve paid thousands of pounds for a studio for a week when there are four of us, while BIL has a 2 bedroom, 2 floor apartment with a separate living room and a terrace/garden. Bear in mind again that we split the cost evenly. I wasn’t looking for a big luxurious apartment but didn’t think for a second we’d have a room that actually costs over £1200 less to book up front.

Phoned travel agents straight away and someone confirmed we were indeed in a studio, not a 1 bed apartment, and that she didn’t personally feel it was suitable for us as a family either. Priced me £200 roughly to upgrade to a 1 bedroom. Annoying but just happy problem can be fixed and for a semi reasonable price! Though…booking was mis sold in the first place, but I can’t be bothered getting into those politics now. Got in touch with MIL as she is lead booker so needs to message them to give person for me to change the room. She says this TA is wrong and her friend definitely booked us a 1 bed apartment as a studio isn’t suitable for us as a family. Long story short, her friend has now confirmed today that we are in a studio. I’ve not had an apology or a Oopsy or anything, now just backpedaling and excuses on why we don’t need a 1 bed (????). MIL and FIL are two adults and are literally booked into the same room type as us.

ANYWAY, husband is now also very unhappy with the situation. He is adamant that because we agreed to split the cost (thinking we were receiving something fair on our end) that rest of family should now cover the cost of our upgrade. I agree. Everybody thinks WE are being unreasonable. Are we being stupid here??? Are we the unreasonable ones, taking everything into account?

OP posts:
RedJamBiscuits · 23/05/2024 14:27

Bartonzam · 23/05/2024 11:21

Can you not just cancel OP and leave the rest of the family to it?

Unfortunately not as the whole thing had to be paid upfront due to it being so “close” to the actual holiday date. So all money is long gone! Hence why just cancelling or not going is also not an option x

OP posts:
Kjpt140v · 24/05/2024 01:10

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why I don't go on holiday with family or friends

RoseTraybake · 24/05/2024 04:28

What does AIBU mean?

Apollo365 · 24/05/2024 08:24

RoseTraybake · 24/05/2024 04:28

What does AIBU mean?

😆 it’s the best part of mumsnet.
Am I Being Unreasonable

Abbyant · 24/05/2024 21:03

I think I’d be cancelling and booking my own holiday. I am another weird that has to book holidays myself to make sure it’s right. I also wouldn’t be paying a quarter of someone else’s holiday family or not.

Devon23 · 24/05/2024 21:13

Sounds petty tbh - I bet your hubby wouldn't complain if you weren't fuelling him. Just pay for the upgrade and enjoy the holiday. I have learned the hard way you won't win over mil.

Kindnesscostsnothingtryit · 24/05/2024 21:39

I don't get it. You have 3 kids and BIL has 3 kids? Surely that's the same? Sounds like only people unfairly treated are the in-laws? Or have I misunderstood?

NoThanksymm · 25/05/2024 03:03

I mean. Everyone should’ve been paying their own room.

but how you have it, if BIL gets a two bedroom then it’s totally reasonable you get your upgrade covered. I’d say even a two bedroom.

Flossyts · 25/05/2024 17:43

You’re not being unreasonable and your bil should pay more. However, for the sake of 200 I’d probably let it go. For me it wouldn’t be worth the guaranteed agro. Chalk it up to experience and next time make your own booking

Laurmolonlabe · 25/05/2024 19:16

The moral of this story is don't let someone else book you a holiday if you like being in control, TA was always going to favour the members of the party he/she knows. TBH I would never have considered just splitting the cost up-each family group should pay for the accommodation they have, that will be clearly shown on the invoice-anything else is going to cause an unpleasant taste in the mouth. Whether the accommodation booked is suitable for each group is a whole other argument/conversation.
Holidays can be very expensive indeed, this could easily make everyone feel like they are being taken advantage of, a situation to be avoided at all costs.

Nomorelittlebabybum · 25/05/2024 21:45

Think you need to stop calling it an ‘upgrade’ to start with. An upgrade insinuates you are getting something extra and not something necessary eg. Sea view.

I would phrase it that you’ve corrected the booking as it was incorrectly placed and therefore the total price has increased. You will still go 1/3s as agreed on the overall cost.

if they don’t agree to this pull out, even if you lose money. You’ll either argue or feel resentful the whole time you’re there

Shortstufflady · 28/05/2024 07:28

I would be saying if I was paying £200 more than anyone else then I would be having the two bedroom apartment. That way the teenager can sleep in, the baby can sleep in the parents room and whilst baby is sleeping early evening the parents can use the sitting room.

turkeymuffin · 28/05/2024 07:48

Glad DD is happy. You've still been ripped offf by BIL but I guess that's lesson learned.

Interested to know where you can get duplex apartments with AI for £900/person?

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 26/08/2024 07:52

YANBU but why the hell did you agree to split the cost in 3 when your BIL's family are getting a much bigger space?

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