To expect rest of family to chip in for our room upgrade?

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We are going away for a family holiday (myself who is heavily pregnant, DH, DD 13, DS 1) with my DH’s family (in one room MIL & FIL, in another room BIL, SIL, 2 nieces both 5 and nephew 12, and us in our own room). MIL sorted the booking out with her TA friend, and assured us we all had appropriate rooms. She said her TA knew we needed a one bedroom apt with a sofa bed in the living room, seeing as we have an infant and a teen - both who are obviously on wildly different sleeping patterns, and baby still gets up during night as well as getting up at 6 on the dot every AM. And of course baby goes to sleep much earlier than all of us in general, so want to make sure we don’t disturb him while we are sat on our balcony at night too.

DH agreed to just split the cost of the holiday in three, even though tbh I didn’t feel that was very fair considering we only have one child to pay for and BIL has 3. Either way, it was agreed to and done.

Fast forward to now and I was doing my own digging in to the holiday and what it is going to be like as I like to be prepared. I have never let anyone book a holiday for us before and I’m the kind of weirdo who takes a folder so I know everything is correct and booked and in control 🤣 I realised that what Jet2 call a standard room is actually a STUDIO. We have 1 door in to the room, a double bed next to a single bed, a bit of room next to that for a cot, and then a door out to the balcony. That’s it. I freak out to DH because we’ve paid thousands of pounds for a studio for a week when there are four of us, while BIL has a 2 bedroom, 2 floor apartment with a separate living room and a terrace/garden. Bear in mind again that we split the cost evenly. I wasn’t looking for a big luxurious apartment but didn’t think for a second we’d have a room that actually costs over £1200 less to book up front.

Phoned travel agents straight away and someone confirmed we were indeed in a studio, not a 1 bed apartment, and that she didn’t personally feel it was suitable for us as a family either. Priced me £200 roughly to upgrade to a 1 bedroom. Annoying but just happy problem can be fixed and for a semi reasonable price! Though…booking was mis sold in the first place, but I can’t be bothered getting into those politics now. Got in touch with MIL as she is lead booker so needs to message them to give person for me to change the room. She says this TA is wrong and her friend definitely booked us a 1 bed apartment as a studio isn’t suitable for us as a family. Long story short, her friend has now confirmed today that we are in a studio. I’ve not had an apology or a Oopsy or anything, now just backpedaling and excuses on why we don’t need a 1 bed (????). MIL and FIL are two adults and are literally booked into the same room type as us.

ANYWAY, husband is now also very unhappy with the situation. He is adamant that because we agreed to split the cost (thinking we were receiving something fair on our end) that rest of family should now cover the cost of our upgrade. I agree. Everybody thinks WE are being unreasonable. Are we being stupid here??? Are we the unreasonable ones, taking everything into account?

Send a message to the WhatsApp group.

Look, this is awkward. But we've realised that the room we've been allocated is unsuitable. The small studio will mean a miserable holiday for us all. And it seems that splitting the cost 3 ways has resulted in us spending £1200 more than the inadequate accommodation costs.

I'm going to call the hotel direct to upgrade.

I'll then work with MIL to recalculate the costs so that each family pays for what they've booked. Seems fairest, I'm sure you'll agree.

MAKE SURE YOU SORT OUT HOW YOUR GOING TO PAY FOR EVERYTHING WHILST YOU'RE AWAY, BEFORE YOU GO!!

Otherwise BIL might be expecting all meals and everything else to be split in thirds too 😂😂😂

What @Gazelda said. Well-phrased WA message.

Agreed.

This.

And then once this is sorted, have the chat about what happens on holiday. Are you all paying for yourself? Splitting costs evenly? Eating separately? Who chooses where you eat? What time? Your kids are likely to need feeding earlier than teens and adults usually would...

This sounds like a recipe for disaster.

Ok, wouldn’t work for your dd. Me, my 6 siblings, 20 cousins, my 2 dc who aren’t babies, and their 15 cousins would all love it, so there is clearly a chance the ops teen would also like it. Also clearly nobody is weaponising a child here.

Oh youve asked them all have you?
Rediculous statement.
You are the one who rediculed the poster for saying it wldnt suit their teen.

This is absolutely nuts. You've paid £1200 extra so BIL can have a fancy room and you have a studio with a baby and a teenager?! I would at the least be insisting that we all pay what we've booked and get yourself an upgrade to a 2 bedroom asap. A 1 bed with a baby and a teen is also very unsuitable.

I would be seething all holiday. It would totally spoil it for me. You BIL is laughing his socks off!

It’s all gone tits up reading this. BIL is paying a three way split for 5 full paying people for flights and accommodation. You are paying the same amount for 3 full payers and were incorrectly given a studio room whilst BIL has a 2 bed apartment. Then MIL paying the same for 2 full payers with studio accommodation, accepting they may be happy subsidising others.

Surely you need to upgrade to the 2 bedrooms and have a family meeting to explain the travel agent messed up the booking hence the original split was wrong and needs changing with the correct accommodation being booked.

Even then BIL would be benefiting more still with the revised 3 way split as he should be looking at a higher charge due to x 5 full paying people that includes the flights and accommodation.

Given there was a mistake in booking your accommodation and it isn't fit for purpose, the £200 upgrade is necessary to put you in the position you should have been in initially.

If it was us, we'd probably just pay up. But in accordance with how the rest of the holiday was booked, it would be fair for it to be split three ways between you, and the other two sets of adults.

I'm not sure why you think your MIL & FIL should pay half towards an upgrade that doesn't affect them in any way, when they've already paid a third towards the holiday! I'd be asking for a third max, because they would have paid towards it had it been booked correctly the first time!

This is perfect!

Sorry but you can't just unilaterally decide to split things differently after the holiday has already been booked & paid for! When they agreed to the three way split they must have realised that to some extent they might be subsidising others. Totally unreasonable to expect BIL to find the additional cost to stump up last minute despite previously agreeing.

I get your point @spannered.

However, while OP must have realised she'd be subsidising BIL, she wasn't (at the time) aware of the disparity in accommodation, nor that hers was completely unsuitable.

Also, the BIL must have equally been aware that his holiday was being heavily subsidised.

A very awkward situation and no one is going to come out of this totally happy. It's a shame that the travel agent wasn't clear before the booking was confirmed and paid for.

I'm liking your thinking, @AllotmentTime !

And no-one could say it's unfair: you'd all be covering your own costs.

Why not pay for the upgrade and then send a message to the group along the lines of

”In light of the travel agents booking mistake, we have paid the extra to have the accommodation we expected from the original booking. This has left us out of pocket and as we originally agreed to split the holiday cost 3-way, it seems fair to suggest this cost can be shared by everyone else during the holiday. So whatever the plan is for kitty/shopping etc…we’ll sit out the first £xxx. Are we agreed on this?”

What has BIL said? Can your husband send a group message:

'Hi All, we have been in contact with the travel agent. She booked the wrong room type. To amend the booking it will be £200 which split 3 ways is £66 each. As we all split the cost initially I feel it is only fair that we split this. As it is not our fault the TA messed up. We have paid way over the odds to stay in a studio apartment.'

I know you've said it already but ya, we just got back from a holiday with all my family. We each booked our own accommodation in the same place

Because why should the OP pay towards the BiL super-duper apartment?

The “travel agent” should eat the cost of her mistake. Fact you are all paying for this woman’s commission is awful, paying over the odds for everything so this incompetent woman can get a % (and would blame someone else for the mistake).
Perhaps silver-lining payback is that the folks in thd 2 bed apt are going to be the meeting & hangout because they have more room.

Weirdly thinking your in laws are communists making everyone pay same but goods get allocated by need.

Okay update! And thank you everyone for their responses.

DD is totally happy sleeping in the living room. She often does this when we go to visit her other grandparents and she thinks it’s fun 😂 for some reason loves the whole sleeping in the living room thing. The 2 bedroom would have been better for us but honestly we have two weddings (both which require 2 days of overnight stays 🫠) in the run up to this holiday, so we don’t have the extra money to fork out on the even bigger room. We’ve also just bought a new house so just do not have the savings sat!

When we called to upgrade it’s been £300 extra for the 1 bed apartment, so we have just paid for it. DH is going to speak to FIL and BIL to ask that we all pay £100 each as it’s only fair considering everything else has been split. It’s All Inclusive so don’t need to worry about a kitty when we go away (though I absolutely wouldn’t be partaking in that anyway as they are all big drinkers while we are not, and obviously I can’t drink anyway!). That and (again) less mouths to feed on our end than BIL.

Thanks for putting my mind at ease that I wasn’t feeling fleeced for no reason! 🩷 and yes…nobody is every booking a holiday on my behalf again 🤣

Your DH's family is kicking up a fuss because you're paying the same price for a studio as a 2-bed apt and they think that's fair?

Honestly, I would have upgraded to a 2 bed apt too. Your teenage boy needs his own room (wildly different sleeping pattern), and you're pregnant with a 1yo. You'll need the space and living room and terrace just as much, if not more than BIL's family.

MIL and FIL should be fine in a studio, it's just the two of them. They shouldn't have to split costs equally but that's up to them.

I'd tell BIL that either the extra cost is split 3 ways or you're sticking your kids in his duplex apartment where there's more space and he can look after the lot of them.

@Razorwire Literally I did some digging and priced how much it would be to buy it direct and the whole thing would have been cheaper not going through the agent. No offence to any of the really lovely travel agents out there, but I just don’t get why people use them! Not pleased she’s getting commission 😂 oh and had to pay a £50 admin fee for changing the room as well, of course 🙄

Can you find out the actual cost of each room? Then suggest you pay the cost of your own room plus upgrade only. I bet it will be less than what you have paid 😂

@Peaceandquietandacuppa It is a good bit less! We priced it up yesterday after realising what had happened and ended up really annoyed 😂 had it been sorted originally, we could have had a 2 bed duplex for £200 less than what we’ve paid for the bloody studio (due to the fact infant is free and there are just 3 of us paying full price in our room!)