To expect rest of family to chip in for our room upgrade?

[RedJamBiscuits]

We are going away for a family holiday (myself who is heavily pregnant, DH, DD 13, DS 1) with my DH’s family (in one room MIL & FIL, in another room BIL, SIL, 2 nieces both 5 and nephew 12, and us in our own room). MIL sorted the booking out with her TA friend, and assured us we all had appropriate rooms. She said her TA knew we needed a one bedroom apt with a sofa bed in the living room, seeing as we have an infant and a teen - both who are obviously on wildly different sleeping patterns, and baby still gets up during night as well as getting up at 6 on the dot every AM. And of course baby goes to sleep much earlier than all of us in general, so want to make sure we don’t disturb him while we are sat on our balcony at night too.

DH agreed to just split the cost of the holiday in three, even though tbh I didn’t feel that was very fair considering we only have one child to pay for and BIL has 3. Either way, it was agreed to and done.

Fast forward to now and I was doing my own digging in to the holiday and what it is going to be like as I like to be prepared. I have never let anyone book a holiday for us before and I’m the kind of weirdo who takes a folder so I know everything is correct and booked and in control 🤣 I realised that what Jet2 call a standard room is actually a STUDIO. We have 1 door in to the room, a double bed next to a single bed, a bit of room next to that for a cot, and then a door out to the balcony. That’s it. I freak out to DH because we’ve paid thousands of pounds for a studio for a week when there are four of us, while BIL has a 2 bedroom, 2 floor apartment with a separate living room and a terrace/garden. Bear in mind again that we split the cost evenly. I wasn’t looking for a big luxurious apartment but didn’t think for a second we’d have a room that actually costs over £1200 less to book up front.

Phoned travel agents straight away and someone confirmed we were indeed in a studio, not a 1 bed apartment, and that she didn’t personally feel it was suitable for us as a family either. Priced me £200 roughly to upgrade to a 1 bedroom. Annoying but just happy problem can be fixed and for a semi reasonable price! Though…booking was mis sold in the first place, but I can’t be bothered getting into those politics now. Got in touch with MIL as she is lead booker so needs to message them to give person for me to change the room. She says this TA is wrong and her friend definitely booked us a 1 bed apartment as a studio isn’t suitable for us as a family. Long story short, her friend has now confirmed today that we are in a studio. I’ve not had an apology or a Oopsy or anything, now just backpedaling and excuses on why we don’t need a 1 bed (????). MIL and FIL are two adults and are literally booked into the same room type as us.

ANYWAY, husband is now also very unhappy with the situation. He is adamant that because we agreed to split the cost (thinking we were receiving something fair on our end) that rest of family should now cover the cost of our upgrade. I agree. Everybody thinks WE are being unreasonable. Are we being stupid here??? Are we the unreasonable ones, taking everything into account?

Their teen? Do you mean the poster who told me it wouldn’t work for the ops teen who is a complete stranger?

I would expect the TA to reimburse you at least the £50 admin fee required to correct their mistake.

Glad it's been sorted. I'd have gone for the 'happy to swap' route with BIL. If he thinks your accommodation is worth the same as his (actually more), he should be happy to stay in it.

No more 3 way splits. And do you have a cheaper AI because of no booze or are you being fleeced there as well?

@MrsTerryPratchett It’s the same price as everyone else’s but I think (?) that’s normal for all inclusive places?We have only ever gone all inclusive for our honeymoon which was a totally different ballgame, but otherwise usually prefer to go out to eat! So not totally clued up on that side of things x

That's were it didn't make sense to me that you are only 3 full paying people and BIL's family are x 5. Hence you are subsidising a lot of his holiday. Flights + accommodation.

Lesson learnt for the future. And yes it's always interesting to look at the cost of the elements separately. I never book a package.

Oh fuck me, I hadn't realised it was a package and you are also subbing the costs of their flights for five people and their AI packages for five people. Bloody hell.

This is where a 3 way split never, ever made any sense whatsoever.
5 full paying people
3 full paying people - plus 1 free of charge
2 full paying people

Splitting flights, accommodation and all inclusive package 1/3 each was utter madness.

BIL must be rubbing his hands with glee. How soon before he suggests "same again next year".

Unless he and SIL are going to do a fuck ton of babysitting for you.

BIL won't be babysitting, he'll be drinking.

And yes OP, no repeat.

I would have definately suggested swapping if it was worth the same

Either they contribute to the upgrade cost or you say we should all pay for our own rooms then.

No way should you be paying the most for the least space. Absurdity.

To be fair, there are 10 paying people going, and OPs family account for 3 of them (plus an extra infant), so thirds would be roughly right if everyone had been given appropriate sized accommodation of the same standard. It's PILs who are subsidising BILs family. The mistake in accommodation size has led to it being an unfair split. I don't think it's fair to ask PILs to be subsidising yet more, but it would be nice if BIL had offered to split the upgrade costs.

Dear BIL and SIL
It's now been revealed that the accommodation we're booked into isn't what we were originally told and won't work for the 4 of us.
So we're going to get them to move us into a one bed as originally promised. This affects the price. Whilst talking to the hotel we're now aware of the prices and that our one bed is £x. Given the col etc we'd like to pay just this amount and we feel its only fair that dp only pay for theirs ie £y.
I know you wouldn't want to feel like you're sponging off us for your luxury villa so we're happy to accept a bank transfer from you.
Going forward to the holiday we're suggesting that each family pays for their own expenses rather than the daft idea of dividing the bill into 3 as obviously you'd always still be seen as sponging off us all again.

Exactly this. You're subbing them and accepting less comfortable accommodation for yourselves. It's not at all fair.

I would be livid about this, the splitting the cost (wouldn't have allowed that to go ahead in you BIL's shoes) and now realising you could have done a better, and cheaper, job yourselves.

Because they´re splitting the bill despite the obvious discrepancies between the accommodations (it seems clear that BIL´s cost much more).

They should either split the upgrade. OR agree that everyone pays for their own rooms / apartments.

And this is why I never go on holiday with other people.

Just thinking about how to improve the sleeping situation (the paying arrangements are a whole different kettle of drama for which I have no suggestions that don't involve a time machine), you might be able to negotiate something a bit better when you arrive at the hotel. Maybe they have a big family apartment with two bedrooms and a living room so that you can make some other combinations work. Even if they don't have anything when you check in, something might come up after a day or two. I think it's far more likely that you will sort it out at that end than this, especially if the TA is as useless as described.

Yes it should be split equally but if you think of it that way then his parents should also get an upgrade as they are the ones losing out the most now. I think for the sake of an easy life I'd just pay the difference and be done with it on the basis that you win some you lose some.....

I wonder when the whole booking was done through the travel agent , can’t she not change the studio for the one bedroom, as she misrepresented what she was booking?

You have been totally and utterly mugged off here, OP.

Why are costs split evenly when you have different accommodation? You should only have split costs if you all have exactly the same priced rooms.

You need a two bed like BIL or your money back. I would kick up a huge fuss about this and threaten NC as they're just taking your money. Not acceptable.

Can you not swap with your MIL and FIL as they have an actual one-bed apartment (although I imagine that would go down with them like a cup of cold sick!).

This would really wind me up to be subsidising a luxurious space for someone else. Is your BIL usually a CF?

Unbelievably unfair. I think your BIL should pay the 200 extra. Say that you will only pay it if they swap with you.

Because the costs were split between 3 families so in effect they have subsidised BILs 2 bed apartment and 3 kids already.