To feel like I have to pay this off for DD’s sake? How can I do it?

[Hyre]

This situation is making me feel unwell. I have 200k left on a mortgage. I’m 36. If I don’t pay this off by the time DD is at school (ie by the time I’m 40) I feel like she is going to be at such a huge huge disadvantage in life as I am a single parent with cms that as everyone knows is unpredictable. This is causing me a lot of stress. I try and overpay but sacrifice my own eating to do this.

i don’t feel like she will have the same opportunity as a child in a two parent household otherwise. How can I achieve this? I feel constantly stressed

It is scary doing it on your own but it's such an achievement. All you can do is chip away at the mortgage if you have any spare money. But you do need some joy as well.

If you were renting you'd be in a worse situation.

Im
not sure what op is on about, truly. There are MANY people over 40 who have NOT managed to even get on the property ladder, never mind pay off.
Tuis person needs help. I hope she has her family around.

I’m 35 and just took out a new mortgage for 27 years. My kids aren’t disadvantaged in any way?!

Why on earth would she be more inclined to lose her home than a 2 parent family?

It sounds like you think most couples are buying on one salary (maybe one parent at home) and so there is the opportunity for the other person to add income if necessary.
But the reality is any family I know who bought a house (as opposed to renting) bought based on both people earning, so there is equal possibility of them losing their home if a parent lost their job.

Honestly give yourself a break, you do not need to be overpaying.

Paying your mortgage off is not going to magically transform you into a two parent family. The deprivations single children suffer are much more usually connected with spending time with parents , rather than financial deprivations, although finances can be a factor I assure you as a child of a single parent myself- finances were an issue both before and after my parents separated, this was not really where the problems lay.
Even if you never get any financial help, love and a stable emotional homelife are far more important than having plenty of money.
Worrying and starving yourself for an irrelevant goal( which you irrationally feel is hugely important) can only make matters worse, especially considering your health condition.
Rather than worrying like this I would look into life insurance to cover your mortgage and give your daughter an income, should your health seriously fail.

Does your home loan allow you to put extra payments in a 100% offset account. If you can that would reduce your interest payment but have money to tide you over in emergencies.

You are doing so well so don't forget to enjoy life and your daughter as well

I understand to a point where you are coming from being worried that you're on your own & all responsibilities are on you but please try not to over worry about your Daughter being disadvantaged. God forbid if anything happened & you couldn't pay your mortgage for whatever reason then your insurance would kick in for a time until you found employment. Also you sound like you're a very determined person so you'd take work where ever to provide for your child & benefits would top up your income should it not be as high as you're earning now. Please speak with your Dr about your worries as you sound like you have bad anxiety. I'm sure you'll be ok whether your mortgage is paid off by the time you're 40 or not & your Daughter won't suffer at all.