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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU for telling my daughter that I won't attend her wedding?

230 replies

GladCat · 20/05/2024 08:36

Hi, I'm going to keep it short. My daughter is 27 years old and has been living in the UAE for a few years now. She works as an English teacher and the pay + benefits there are great. She's a very sociable person so she has a large circle of friends there, surprisingly made up of mostly natives (Emiratis). It was through one of these female Emirati friends that she was introduced to her now fiancé. They're getting married in January 2025. Even though we met the man and he seems like a good one, there's just one tiny problem: he already has a wife and 2 kids. My husband and I are aware that in Islam men are permitted to have up to 4 wives (and apparently the fiancé's wife is cool with this since it's common throughout their social class), but we're still very uncomfortable with the practice 'cause it feels archaic (and frankly oppressive) to us. We told our daughter that she can do whatever she wants as a grown woman and we'll always want her to be happy, but we don't condone dynamics like this and don't wish to attend the wedding events. She's obviously quite pissed at us. AIBU?

OP posts:
paprikaforever · 22/05/2024 15:23

Under the new law in UAE either spouse can express his/her wish to separate and not continue with the marital relationship before the court, without having to justify the request, indicate damage or blame the other party. A divorce takes place through a court judgement at the first hearing.

UK only just introduced a no fault divorce too

paprikaforever · 22/05/2024 15:24

also the new UAE divorce law

The new law also amended the child custody. Aiming to preserve the psychological health of the child and limiting the effects of divorce on the children, the new law establishes the concept of joint custody as the general principle after a divorce.

paprikaforever · 22/05/2024 15:25

oh and If you obtained your citizenship through marriage, you are generally entitled to that citizenship even after a divorce

Pegsandlola · 22/05/2024 16:38

Having lived in the UAE it is very unusual for an emirate to even socialise with a westerner let alone marry. Her life will change beyond belief please please support your daughter, in the future she will need you.

Headtothestreets · 22/05/2024 17:49

I’d be gutted too. But you have to go, to maintain your relationship and show your support of her. If she needs you in future years, she needs to know you are there for her.

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