Should I speak to the wife 6 years later?

[Anon31483]

I 37F was with someone 39M for 3 months when I found out he was married with a kid on the way. I found out it wasn't the first time he cheated during their relationship either. He cheated also before they got married. The guy is a compulsive liar. The reason I didn't speak then was that his wife was pregnant with their kid and I didn't want to cause any harm. Now I found out they had a second kid who is one. I myself moved on of course and my own kid.

However my conscience has been eating me up all these years. Should I speak up anonymously?

Get a grip 😂

I seem to be of the minority but if I was the wife, I’d absolutely want to know

Exactly this!

Why now after all this time do you want to potentially blow up someones family? I get that you feel he's a liar and a cheat but too much water has gone under the bridge for you to contact his wife and what would you get out of doing it? Just be happy that you now have a happy life with someone else and leave well alone.

No.

I've not read all your posts but the answer is NO.

It will do no good and you may come out of it worse.

The messenger often gets shot.

If, as you say, you have a happy and fulfilling life, why are you brooding about something that happened a fair while ago? This doesn't seem to be about a moral choice to me but a chance to make mischief. We all make mistakes and many of us have been taken in by people who lie. The best thing to do is forgive yourself, learn from it and move on.

I thought 37F was a bra size at first.

You mean 'anonymously' ? Not unanimously.

I literally have no benefit out of this. I decided not to do it for the reason mentioned above

That cracked me up lol

Leave well enough alone it’s been 6 years if you do say anything it’s all selfish on your part and by the way you most definitely have NOT moved on!!

Agree
Op this would be totally selfish
She has two little kids.
Do they deserve their world to be turned upside?

No no no. Leave them alone and put it behind you

I would definitely want to know. But well a lot of people prefer to live a lie. I'm not one of those people.

She might be. Six years on it's definitely time to let her life take whatever course it does without your input.

What do you mean? Are you saying that in the OP and I’ve charged my name? Genuinely … sorry … is that what you mean?

Yes I think. I've just navigated similar threads and the amount of people in these situations even with close friends that know about cheating and don't talk is abhorrent. The selfishness is unreal

You've managed it for six years...

Absolutely not.
Stay away!

As most people have said @Anon31483 you are not doing this to be altruistic, and because you care about the man's wife. You are doing this out of spite - and to be vindictive.

As a pp said, it's bizarre that you are still hung up on a 3 month fling from 6 years ago, and to be so determined to destroy this man's marriage because of it. To be honest if some random woman came to me and claimed she had a 3 month fling with my husband in 2018, I probably wouldn't believe her anyway. So prepare to be laughed at and told to piss off. I bet you have zero proof of this 'affair.'

Seriously, as a pp said, get help, because it's not normal to still be obsessing over a 3 month fling from 6 years ago. It's fucking weird actually.

You are entirely missing the point. I won't bother explaining again as I'm just gonna waste my energy. To each their own

Oh just stop it

Don't pretend you are doing her a massive favour and that she doesn't deserve not to know.

It's none of your business. She could know and they've worked it out. She might not know and he has been a loving husband since. You could be turning the life's of innocent children upside down and their mum for what? So you can feel virtuous. Well it's not. It's spiteful and cruel. Just pack it in. No one believes you.

No

We aren't missing the point. Most people have sussed out exactly why you want to destroy this young family.

It's nothing to do with doing the right thing and everything to do with your obsession with a man who you can't bear to see with someone else. You are bent on revenge and it's not pretty.

Don't bother "explaining" again. We hear what you are saying and most of us don't believe you.

Leave him and his family alone.

As above. Have more respect for yourselves than are present for you......

And every time remember to clock in with the everyday gardening, and register all the new tools needed etc..