Is losing a pet the same as losing a relative?

[Thejewellershands]

This question has been inspired from another thread that I read this morning and got me wondering.

Do you think that losing a pet is comparable/the same as losing a relative?

I have a dog and two cats and on one hand if I lost a close family member and someone compares it to them losing their cat I’d probably be a bit annoyed. But then again, when I put myself in the position of losing one of my animals I know that I will feel utterly devastated and heartbroken. Grief is grief and loss is loss. But are they comparable? What do you think?

Any comparison to your own experience when attempting to comfort someone who is in the agony of losing a person they love is clumsy and unhelpful. No one can know what they are going through at that moment.

Every loss I have had has been different and impacted me differently.

Loss is loss. It is personal to the person experiencing it. If one person feels the loss of a pet different to another, and same applies with family, it doesn't really matter what we think.

What matters is how we support our friends and family when they are experiencing a loss.

The hurt they feel is what is important, IMO, not the cause of that hurt.

In my humble opinion, it depends entirely on how you feel about the relative.
For instance, I was devastated when my 1st cat died and was devastated when my dad died. Happy that my dog died, at 19. And happy that my mother died.

8 weeks ago my dog made a noise had a wee and died of a heart attack in front of me dead in 1 minute, i had to wrap and move the body downstairs ready for morning to take to the vets, he had been ill for 2 years with his kidneys, but did a long walk twice that day just ate a sausage, vet said the heart must of been under stress front the kidneys, i dont know how i moved the body or but the body in a big bag the next day and drove to our vets,i was a mess for weeks, the only way i got throght it was to get another dog very soon ,so yes the pain of losing a pet is very real.i knew my mum/sister and dad were very ill and they were dying from cancer this was very much harder coming from nowhere, evan my vet who had seen my dog for a check up a week earlier was shocked how fast he died

You've misunderstood my post.
I am happy to give paid compassionate leave at manager discretion. If the company has such a policy.
Many of my former workplaces didn't
If all yours have - congratulations, you've been very privileged.

I will allow an employee to be 'off', i.e. not report their time off and cover for them - if I can, so they still get paid, for the death of a close relative. Obviously, that is risking my job, because it's not an official part of company policy. Even though people usually turn a blind eye because well, who wants to be the twat that fires a parent after they've just lost a child?

I wouldn't do that for the loss of a pet.

Not sure how much clearer I can be.

Depends how much either mean to you. Some people have horrible family and/ or no decent humans in their life, so a pet would mean a lot more to them.

I think it depends on the pet and the relative.
I was heart broken when our late cat suddenly died. I was sad when my grandma died around the same time but at 99 she'd had a good innings and was ready to go.
Also our cat was doted over by my young children. My (quite grumpy) grandma, not so much.

@billybear I'm so sorry. It really is awful when a much loved pet dies x

Grief is personal be their loss be human or animal. Its not for anyone else to how upset ( or not) someone may feel

I've lost family, I've lost a lot of pets over the 40 years I've been alive. The two aren't comparable to me, losing my parents when I was young was one of the worst traumas I've had to deal with. Losing my dog wasn't anywhere near the same, I loved my dog but she was a dog

It's all about love

You miss the ones you love

For me it was much worse losing my dog than my mother. I lost my dog 14 months after my mother and completely fell apart. When my mother died I coped with it better.

I think the answer would be different for everyone. For example, a childfree person may feel their pet is like a child to them. I have both pets and a child. For me, the love I have for my son is much stronger than the love I have for my pets. I will be upset and grieve when they pass, but nothing like when my dad passed.

I've just reread this whole thread and wanted to say how moved I am by the immense love that posters feel for the beloved people and animal companions they have lost. In a world that's sometimes so bloody awful and full of trouble and hate it's wonderful to know that good, strong, kind people still have such love and compassion in their hearts.

Some of the stories are familiar from posts I've read in the past and I often think of the OPs and wonder how they are doing. Some of these posts have been like little catch ups with people who shared an insight into their lives at a terrible time for them.

I am so sorry for all your losses and the grief you are suffering. I hope your happy memories will bring you peace and comfort.

I think some people on this thread have some deep issues with family connection. Absolutely no parent would ever believe this is ok to say.

And I find the opinion that the loss of a pet could ever compare to the loss of a child or a much loved spouse or parent or sibling completely vile. You can replace a pet but you can never replace the most important humans in your life.

@Sometimeswinning when I was raped at the age of 21 600 miles from "home", I called my mother for support. She merely said "at least he didn't strange you afterwards" and then hung up on me. I will be dancing a fucking jig when she gets turned into ashes. I'm insisting that disco inferno plays at her cremation.

*strangle

You can't replace a pet any more than you can replace a person. You can get another pet but they will never replace the one you lost. I love my cats I have and I loved the ones I lost too, but they were all different beings with different personalities.

Of course the family i am closest to I would miss much more than cats, but some family I would miss less.

Absolutely. I don’t blame you. My mother told me she’d give my uncle a clip round the ear when I opened up to her. She has her own issues though and we’ve moved forward. Had we not I’d probably be thinking the same as you.

@Sometimeswinning unfortunately that was only the tip of the iceberg of shit I had to put up with from her. I can't wait for her to go!

@JaninaDuszejko people can marry again after the loss of a spouse. In the same way when you get a new pet, they don’t replace the one that has gone before.

theres a saying that grief is just love with nowhere to go.

Just because someone is related to you it doesn’t mean that you love them to the point of grief. Familial Relationships can be complicated and sometimes there can be feelings of relief mixed in. An animals love is rarely complicated so grief may occur more with a pet than a human depending on what your relationship is like with your relative.

Depends on the relative.

my children would rank above the dogs, but I’d be more upset if one of my dogs died than any of my other relatives.

To answer the OP's OP, it's all up to the bereaved person.