Is losing a pet the same as losing a relative?

[Thejewellershands]

This question has been inspired from another thread that I read this morning and got me wondering.

Do you think that losing a pet is comparable/the same as losing a relative?

I have a dog and two cats and on one hand if I lost a close family member and someone compares it to them losing their cat I’d probably be a bit annoyed. But then again, when I put myself in the position of losing one of my animals I know that I will feel utterly devastated and heartbroken. Grief is grief and loss is loss. But are they comparable? What do you think?

Exactly!

This won't be popular on here but I think if you think your animal is the same as a person and and you don't have ANY human you love as much as a pet then you've either had major trauma with someone and it has affected you or you have some issues. Relating more to an animal than another human is not 'normal'

I've lost parents, grandparents, friends but I honestly can't cope when I lose when of my animals, I see them everyday they are part of my family. Fair enough some people don't feel the same but people are different

I've lost my much loved cat and I've lost my much loved mum. No, they are not the same.

I'd celebrate if my mother dropped dead tomorrow. I was very upset when my pony of 30 years died.

hugely depends on the pet - and the relative!

Only someone who’s never lost anyone closer than a grandparent or distant cousin would ask this.

I find these threads so interesting how often it's the ones who confidently state that anyone who deeply loves a pet has issues in some way usually are almost inadvertently demonstrating why some might prefer their pets to humans.

And how those who suggest they may feel grief of a pet more aren't usually judgemental or sneery about it.

Worse !

so it clearly depends on the relationship/s with the humans.

I lost my beloved cat and I cried for days she was ill and elderly but I was heartbroken I still grieve for her 18 months on. I lost my elderly mum last year and it was so hard but I had been losing her to dementia.

Not sure it's acceptable to admit but both deaths comparable still grieving for both. It's hard.

Grief isn't a measure of how much you love or relate to another being. It's indescribably more complex than that. It's about connection, interaction, acceptance, shared experience, timing, nature of the loss, responsibility and a million other things I am not clever enough to put into words.

When I lost my darling mum she'd been ill for a long time. I'd helped nurse her through several strokes and watched her, with each one, become less able and less of the person she was before. She had lived a fabulous, independent life and then all reduced to nothing. It was time for her to go. I accepted that. I had a long time to come to terms with her loss, in fact, I grieved for her loss slowly and steadily over the years before she died.

My dog - after 10 years of 24/7 love, besides me constantly - one day racing around in the park and snoozing alongside me on the sofa as she'd done every evening for thousands of evenings - the next day dead in my arms. Shock. Lack of preparation. Sudden cliff edge drop off of caring for her every need.

Every loss, every grief is different. It's no measure of affection or respecter of hierarchies of love or relationship.

My mum who was a crazy animal lover said that the initial intensity of grief could be the same for an animal but that it passed much more quickly.

My mum was certainly right in my case. I wept my eyes out when the family dog died. But it took a good ten years after her own death for me to really come to terms with it.

Over 20 years now and tears have still come into my eyes writing this post.

It’s not a competition, and there’s enough love and grief to go around.

I will never, ever get over losing my wonderful Dad in the way I did, at the age he was. The grief is still raw and sharp and there’s a gaping hole that will never close. I went to his house yesterday to see my brother and burst into tears when I saw the empty space where Dad’s car used to be.

I cry when I open the drawer where I keep my cat’s collar, having got him when I was 5 and loved him for 18 years. He’s been gone 7 years and I still cry when I see his little collar. I’ve got three cats and a dog currently and I know I’d be the same with them.

There are different kinds of grief and each loss is completely subjective so they just can’t be compared. Losing a loved one still hurts like hell, whether they have two legs or four.

I can’t imagine how hard it would be to lose my cat, he’s my little soulmate who follows me around all the time and purrs as soon as I walk into a room.

I have two cats, they've lived with me for a long time and they incredibly happy and healthy

We snuggle up and they eat better than I do

When they die, I doubt I'll shed a tear

🤷🏽‍♀️

I think it would depend on your relationship with them

I miss my cat terribly but it’s not like how I miss my nanny and granddad (who raised me)

Why would you want to compare? Would you list all the people you've never lost, and play a game of ordering which ones you miss the most to the last?

Every loss for me is different in some way, and its not a game I would want to play

In your opinion. Your post is really unpleasant tbh.

Lovely post filled with compassion.

I think many people can be dismissive about the pain and sadness felt over losing a pet

often with comments you can get another one they are not replaceable and some pets you have a closer bond with than others so the pain is greater

Why would you post this? 🙄

We lost our amazing dog after 9 amazing years and a month later my MiL died. I came home one night to my man just breaking his heart crying and I assumed he was thinking of his mum. He told me he was thinking of our dog. He spent every day with our dog. His absolute best friend and shadow. His mum and him were not close. He lost his little boy the day our dog went

I’d be more sad about my dog dying than about 98.9% of my relatives tbh!

My dog dying was one of the worst experiences I have had, and I say that after losing 4 family members last year.

Only one of them came close and that person suffered horribly before they died.

Well.exactly I have a dog and I love her very much
But not more then my family, my son was critically ill last year and for a few days we didn't know what the outcome would be I was absolutely beside myself and it traumatised me thankfully he recovered
Obviously I would be upset if my dog died but i can't even begin to imagine losing a child.

I've lost quite a few so far - from girlhood till now. My feelings haven't changed.

Ultimately, nobody has the right to police anybody else's emotions. However, as an aside, other people's judgement is relevant for things like bereavement leave policy.