Is it harder to cope with ageing when you are beautiful?

[ettieb]

I have a friend who is absolutely gorgeous.. she is mid fifties now and still looks lovely but obviously is showing signs of ageing. I have seen pictures of her when she was younger and she was stunning. She is a lovely person and makes jokes about her ageing and is very self depreciating. I am fat and average looking... I'm not finding ageing too bad as I didn't look that great to begin with. I think it must be so difficult when you have been attractive and then it gradually fades. I know people will say it's what's inside and it doesn't matter but surely being stunning must define you to some degree and make ageing more difficult to come to terms with?

Your father sounds like one of those people who think that Lucy Letby can't possibly be guilty because she's too young, blonde and pretty.

Pretty people age prettily. I don’t think you lose your beauty as you age you’re still blessed with good looks. It’s definetly how much you depended on your looks for success in life. And it’s never too late to develop other aspects of your personality.

I do wonder whether Lucy would have been caught earlier if she'd been unattractive.

I had a colleague who is now in his early sixties, used to be a model in his younger days. He doesn't really cope that well with it to be honest, always moaning about the fact that younger women don't turn their heads when he walks into a room, like they used to.

Yep, it's icky having conversations with him after a few drinks.

Strange thing is, he was conventionally handsome as a young guy, but just a bland variation on a type. Now he's more stand out handsome as an older guy, compared to his peers. Aside from the creepiness. 😂

Yes, it does play on my mind, but I think I'll be alright. 🙏

I don't quite understand the idea of struggling with feeling invisible as they've get older, but that because I can't relate to it, never having been beautiful. It easier for me, doesn't bother me at all.

Your father sounds like one of those people who think that Lucy Letby can't possibly be guilty because she's too young, blonde and pretty.

Do people think that? She very average imo.

Look that James Brolin (my mums crush) still a good looking man in his 80s! Hopefully DH will be like him😆

It's interesting that you say this (the observation about intelligent people struggling with cognitive ageing).

My late grandfather was genuinely brilliant. I know we are all biased to think our relatives are smarter, more beautiful etc. than average, but he was truly a genius.

He hated his later 70s and 80s for this exact reason. He felt useless and depressed that he was no longer a big fish in his field, but rather "just" an old man.

I think it depends on the person's personality and how they age. Some people seem to grow more attractive.

This is me. Very pretty back in the day. If I walked in to a club or bar, every man eyed me up. I've been stopped in the street by men. I had a man cycle into a car because he was staring at me. I was at my best at about 38. I still looked okay until I was about 52, and then everything went south - double chin, hooded eyes, eye bags, turkey neck. Yes, I 100% noticed the distinct lack of male attention. I actually felt like a different person, and so I had surgery to tackle everything - upper and lower bleph, face lift and neck lift. I look a million times better, but I'm still in no way as good looking as I was in my 30's, and you can still tell I'm a mature woman. I just look like I've aged better than I really have, because all the saggy bits have gone. If that makes sense!

I don't give it a second thought. I still try to dress well, but spend far more on my hair and skin care than I did in my 20s, 30s, 40s and 50s. It all just requires more maintenance.

The best tip an older lady gave me was to look after my feet. Well fitting, not too high shoes help hugely. At almost 64, with a good pedi, they are still sandal worthy and don't let me down. I wish I'd looked after my hands better, they do.

I wish I had felt as good about myself and as confident at 24 as I do at nearly 64.

I don't turn heads any more but I do still get the occasional compliment. Fortunately, I have no wish to turn heads and absolutely no desire to impress anyone, least of all anyone except DH. Not giving two hoots but maintaining what you have as a matter of self respect helps I think.

Beautiful young people become beautiful older people. Aging is a privilege. Highly doubt aging will be kind to my ugly mug but what does it matter,I'm grateful to be alive.

I saw a Facebook article today on Kristin Davis and it showed pictures of her every single year from the year she got famous up until she got fillers (which seemingly she recently had removed). It was almost as if the article was pointing out her "decline". There's no doubt about it, aging in the public eye can't be easy. She was very obviously starting to age (as we all do) and then she took the step of getting fillers which left her looking strange and puffy. With that kind of scrutiny though I can totally see why she did it. I know the OP wasn't specifically talking about famous people, but I'm guessing anyone who has benefited in life from their looks is going to feel it more when they start to age.

"Looks" are just the way your skin hangs on your bones. Nothing more.

Yes she's average but she has youth in her side. I've noticed a number of people commenting (well men mainly) that she couldn't possibly be guilty.

I think that baby killers are ugly in many people's minds.

I'm very attractive. I'm 52. I'm now a very attractive 52 year old. I don't give two hoots about ageing. As a pp said its better than the alternative.

I don't know. I was always funny looking (terrible photo taker) but raised to believe it's what inside that counts but obviously that dies a death as soon as you see how much more fun hot people have dropped in their laps. There's a lot to be said for looking good for your age, though. I am going to get a face lift pre 50 and see if that can be my hottest decade yet.

Possibly. I'll admit I'm a bit scared of ageing for this reason. I still look younger than my age, but that won't last forever. I'm just enjoying my beauty while it lasts.

That's ok, my dear. You are so intelligent and so beautiful on the inside that your stunning looks aren't even the first thing anyone notices.

Then that’s why I’m so popular recently…😎

It's an interesting one. I've never been good looking at any stage in my life and I have no problem with ageing either. I was once told I looked like a frog, not in a pleasant way! 😂

My friends who are attractive have definitely had things done (like Botox etc.) to mask/deal with ageing.

There are different types of beauty as well. Certain features, like high cheekbones, age particularly well imo.

I often get told that I'm beautiful by men and women, but I don't think that I am really, at least not in the classical sense. I'm a mixture of races so I look a bit different/unusual I think, which people interpret as beautiful. However I think it's really more about looking striking/noticeable, rather than classily beautiful (e.g. Eva Green rather than Margot Robbie). Hopefully, I will retain that individuality as I age, but we'll see! I would kill for high cheekbones though...

Yes.

My posh London therapist told me she sees society ladies who have breakdowns cos they ain’t hot any more. Their husbands too - men are very proud of beautiful wives.

Crisis depends whether you make your looks your USP to get on in life. Or only SP.

I decided not to age about 11, as I suspect most women do, but beauty does come in handy while you’ve got it. Men certainly use theirs.

Anyway, tee hee, bimbo bunch.

Not referring to myself at all here, but I find as I age, the women I find most attractive are also aging - rather than me noticing younger women. I find women approaching 40 and beyond often look their age but also tend to be more comfortable in their own style and have a certain sophistication younger women often lack. I follow a lady on Instagram in her early fifties and she is one of the most stylist and beautiful women I’ve seen.