School run mum

[Rainbow877]

There is a mum on the school run who seems to have taken a disliking to me for whatever reason. Every time I see her she does a smug kind of smirk or stares at me. I think for some reason she thinks we live near the school but we actually live a 10/15 min drive to school. Yesterday when I walked past her she purposefully said to her child ‘we walk to school, we’re not lazy’ and looked at me for her reaction. What would you do?

Ignore. Best defence.

Ignore her. There are loads of these types rocking up at school gates. You don’t know her, she doesn’t know you. Ignore.

Oh god I had to deal with this at work one. Colleague a made a complain about colleague b saying she was smirking at her and it was making her feel like it was a hostile work place etc. colleague b didn’t have a scoobies what she was on about, never intentionally was smirking at her and on the occasions cited was just cracking on with her day. That was fun….

Why are these types at the school gate though? Why don't people talk about all these smirking awful women at work or the gym or wherever else. They're all the same women just in a different place.

You say “in reality and hugely likely” when both of those statements are a wild assumption based on absolutely nothing other than your own imaginings because you weren’t there. The rest of what you’ve said based on the same premise is utter nonsense. The OP is there in person and has the eyes, ears and basic human understanding to know when someone is being rude towards her. It’s not difficult to work out when a person is being affrontive towards you, the person in the OP isn’t exactly being subtle about it. To claim someone is lazy for driving to school instead of walking when you have no idea about a single thing about them is outrageous and none of their business. To use your child as a weapon to vocalise your passive aggression is also ridiculously pathetic. Only a moron would think this type of behaviour is acceptable.

Meh, Fuck her.

Then we agree to disagree. The odds of this woman suddenly deciding she knows where the op is, that she’s lazy and likes smirking at her are little to non existent and the indisputable fact is the op needs to be staring ag her to even notice.

critical thinking is a thing.

Hardly little to non existent. There are plenty of people who exist that believe they have the right to an unsolicited opinion on people’s lives. There are also plenty of people who like to be combative and rude towards people because they have low self esteem and bully others to make themselves feel better. Most of us know people like this and the majority of school playgrounds have at least one or two of these “upstanding mothers”. They are all as thoroughly unpleasant as the person the OP describes. All you have to do is look at how some people carry themselves and behave towards others on Mumsnet to catch a glimpse. Again, not an indisputable fact because yet again, you weren’t there. This woman could be purposefully putting herself in the OPs eye line to catch her attention or the times that the OP eye has happened to fall upon this person she’s staring at her and giving her unpleasant looks. If someone made a comment about me being lazy for driving then you can be rest assured I’d look at them too. If I’m going to make an assumption myself based on the OP id say that the former is probably more likely. Critical thinking is definitely a thing and doesn’t usually involve projecting and leaping to enormous conclusions based on no evidence. However, you’re correct. We will agree to disagree.

It is pretty ignorant not to understand that not everyone has a choice as to whether they need to use a car to do the school run or not. You might not like it but some people simply don’t have a choice. Is it really that hard to understand 🤷‍♀️

That's not really the point - whilst some people need to drive, others don't, but still choose to. Too many cars on the road make it shit for everyone else, especially kids walking to school.

I have said to my child ‘We drive to school, because I don’t have 4 hours to be walking back and forth all day’

I’ve sent you a PM.
Top right of the screen you’ll see a black dot near ‘active discussions’ Just press it.

apologies OP for the derail think EAI is new to MN

I was thinking the same. Is this really what goes on at the school gates these days? Talk about creating drama where none exists……

I know people are saying I’d have to be staring at her to notice but sometimes I’ll just be getting my daughter out the car and turn around and she’s already watching me. It’s definitely not a smile, it’s sort of like a smug kind of look with eyebrows raised. When she made the comment about walking to school and not being lazy she did say it to her child but was already looking at me whilst she said it tbh, like she was hoping I’d have a reaction. I definitely don’t park inconsiderately at all. She’s seen me come down her road a few times, and I’ve seen her staring at my car as I go past. I only use it as a short cut as the main road through is always busy, I think she thinks I live really close to her and that’s why she said the lazy comment

also, when she said the lazy comment she was walking towards us, her child hadn’t even said anything I don’t think, she then said it right as she was next to us so it seemed very much like she was having a dig

Sounds like she think she is superior because they walk to school. She’s probably fed up of all the cars everywhere as well but I would just tell her to get off her high horse.

I do not miss my kids being in infants and junior school there is always some bitchy parent.Ignore her act like she is invisible do not look her way she obviously knows you have seen her watching you now. If she is giving snide comments when you pass she wants a reaction just laugh chat to your children and get on with it this will hurt her more.

If it bothers you that much just give her a big smile and breezy wave as you pass and say something along the lines of 'Hi, I see you most days (big smile) Do you walk in with xxx? You're so lucky to live so close - I wish we did - we have to drive in (big smile/ eye roll) '
( some MNetters may advise a head tilt and a tinkly laugh at this point, but these are probably optional! 😁)

The state of this thread. The poor trusting OP has opened up and mentioned an unpleasant feeling about a woman outside school and she gets it in the neck about how she is the one at fault. Society, eh?

She sounds rather unpleasant OP. I agree with the smile and ignore comments. Never apologise, never explain. You don't owe her anything.

Well it seems to have happened again this morning. She saw me coming and we were going in opposite direction so I just went on my way and as she got closer she said to her younger child ‘normally we walk don’t we but we’ve come in the car today’ (heavy rain today) but it was as if to make a point about the walking again

Or it might not have anything to do with you?

Knives out! Show your teeth!
Or alternatively, ignore.

YABU to give a toss about what she might or might not think about you. It’s a stranger on the school run, who cares? 🤨

In that case, I would pity the fact that she clearly hasn't matured from secondary school, and go on with my day.

Crazy isn't it. I would think OP would know if this woman is staring at her, but all the bored people on this thread are jumping on her like, "You don't know if she's looking at you!!" Well... OP knows better than people on an internet thread surely? If this was a guy staring at her/smirking at her, everyone would be all, "Trust your instincts!"