School run mum

[Rainbow877]

There is a mum on the school run who seems to have taken a disliking to me for whatever reason. Every time I see her she does a smug kind of smirk or stares at me. I think for some reason she thinks we live near the school but we actually live a 10/15 min drive to school. Yesterday when I walked past her she purposefully said to her child ‘we walk to school, we’re not lazy’ and looked at me for her reaction. What would you do?

I snidely smirk at a lot of school mums- and dads. All the ones who park right on the junction outside school, meaning the children have to cross the roads between parked cars. All the ones who park on the bus stop. All the ones who think it's fine to park on the pavement on the corner of my road- in sight of some safe, empty parking spots. I smirk to hide my rage.

How's your parking, OP?

Maybe she just smiles oddly.

A wise person once told me not to do other peoples thinking for them. - you have no idea what she is thinking.

Snide remarks harder to dismiss - but just say to your DC, in her ear shot, very bad traffic driving those 5 miles in from 'outside village' this morning wasn't it' if you are bothered and want her to know you live a good bit away

This. I once had a very nice conversation with a woman from the same village in the playground as our children played, after which she blanked me completely every time I saw her. I spent ridiculous amounts of time wondering what I could possibly have done to cause it. It turned out from acquaintances months later that she was extremely visually impaired (unable to drive etc) and simply wouldn't have been able to see me well enough to recognise me on the street. When she sat close by on a bus, she recognised me and was very friendly. I had created an entire scenario in my own head, based on misinterpreting her failure to see me as disapproval.

There are a lot of smirking people on MN. I have a resting bitch face myself with a heavy jaw, and I am always acccused of smirking/sneering/sulking when I am usually thinking about what to make for dinner.

Also she might be doing it as you keep staring at her, most folks don’t like that, and you need to be staring as you’d not know otherwise. Honestly some people really dislike it, and will smirk or something, when they see someone doing it.

Just ask her if she has a problem

Or her kid was whinging at walking to school and she said they walked as they weren’t lazy and it was nothing to do with the op.

Ignore her. She's obviously trying to get a rise out of you. Don't give her the satisfaction. You don't have to justify yourself to anyone.

Perhaps her child said to her can we get a bus to school mum and she has said no we are not lazy maybe just looking around when she said it, it might not have been aimed at you.

If anyone smiled/smirked and made eye contact with me when dropping dc off at school I would say - good morning, how are you doing? (not in a Joey creepy way!) and then some random comment about the weather.

I would not make up in my head they had a problem with me unless they completely ignored me (even then, I would get into their eyeline and repeat incase they never heard me), or said something negative back. If she did say something directly about driving I would simply say back - I would really love to be able to walk, especially in this weather, but we live further away/time is tight as I need to get to work/I can't walk far/yes I am a lazy cow.

That’s what I’d assume also. The woman clearly has no clue where the op lives but the op has fhis whole scenario in her head.

Shrug nonchalantly and say “Jealousy’s a curse, twat.”

Good advice. Will definitely help the OP make friends and influence people at the school gates😂

I don't think this in your mind - she does sound judgmental. I wouldn't want to open up any acquaintance with her by trying some conversational gambit. Don't pander to these types. Think of yourself as Princess Anne spotting an unruly corgi and ignore her completely. Resist the temptation to look to see if you she is staring at you. It is absolutely nothing to do with her if you drive even if you live round the corner. Princess Anne wouldn't explain why she was driving the Range Rover and neither should you.

If it is me, please know that

1. I havea grumpy resting face but because I am a bit socially awkward, any attempts at a passive and bland smile normally end up looking like a tight lipped smug smile. Sorry.

2. my child would love me to drive the school run instead of me forcing him to walk the 15 minutes. The last time we asked was also the 8 millionth time he asked and I said "we aren't lazy, we walk, it isn't far and its good for us" or similar because he really was just being a lazy toad and couldn't be bothered walking.

In short, it's most likely not about you.

I would ask to speak to her outside school when the children aren’t there. Straight up ask her if she has a problem with you. Explain she is making you feel uncomfortable.

Tbh, it's highly unlikely I'd notice or think about this so I'd do nothing!

FYI Ive had two people confront me over the years that they think I'm blanking them/don't like them.
The one who thought I was blanking her was a school mum (I think) and I genuinely didn't know who she was, I don't think her kid was in my kids class.
The second was a friend of a friend. Seemed quite nice, I never gave her any thought, but she'd seen a photo where it looked like I was looking at her funny and invented a whole narrative around it.
Both things have perplexed me ever since. Why would this woman be thinking about you?

Afternoon all,

I am planning to move to the Watford (maybe Bushey) area. My girl is due to start secondary school in September. She dosnt have a school place yet but is on the waiting list for some. The schools that she has potential of going to have around 32 to 38 percent of A to C grades. I would love her to go to a great school but equally would love her to go to a school with kids from a similar background (multicultural but asian/muslim community too). Equally, has anyone had any luck with in year applications in that area.

some tips of how to increase chances for in year application (aside from
bring in catchment) would be appreciated.

sadi

Maybe she wishes fewer parents would drive their kids to school

Jealous if driving kids to school? surely it would be the other way round?

I'd be so tempted to catch her gaze and slowly mouth "f off."
But in reality. Ignore and avoid.
Whatever it is, it's her problem.
Some people are strange... unpleasant... nasty

Sounds like something a mum listening to “but whhhhhy can’t we just take the bus?” x46273 would reply tbh. It could have been me and my reception kid! She can easily make it and when I say we’re going to the shop on the way home, she has run most of it. I would have meant “lazy” for our circumstances not anyone else. Most drive because the school is awkward to get to.

Id loudly say to my DC...wow I thought we were going to be late stuck behind the (insert vehicle)....it's a pain isn't it living fifteen mins away

Either you've misinterpreted the 'smirk' and comment as being about you when they aren't.

Or

She's a cow.

Either way, ignore! Why are you letting her get on your head OP? Do you need her to like you?