School run mum

[Rainbow877]

There is a mum on the school run who seems to have taken a disliking to me for whatever reason. Every time I see her she does a smug kind of smirk or stares at me. I think for some reason she thinks we live near the school but we actually live a 10/15 min drive to school. Yesterday when I walked past her she purposefully said to her child ‘we walk to school, we’re not lazy’ and looked at me for her reaction. What would you do?

I wouldn't say anything to her. What if like a pp said she really has resting birch face (I do) or is a bit awkward and was telling her child not to be lazy and complain about walking?? Just give her the benefit of the doubt.

Maybe she isn't sure who you are but attempts a half smile in case she is meant to know you to see if you will react.

You could maybe try looking if your driving is inconsiderate ? There was a woman who parked outside school and realised because of the railings her child wouldn't get out . So to solve this problem she would just reverse into a mother and child who were crossing the road . I did have to bang on her car to get
her to stop and she realised what she had done and just drove straight off.
Some people should never be allowed to drive near a school , with children in a car .

She said WE walk to school and looked over at OP, pretty straightforward to me - she is being a ***y mean girl (probably out of internalised stuff) so laugh at her or even pity her in your heart and ignore her in real life? She's only showing herself up, and if you learn to see it as her problem and not yours then that's somehow freeing. No need to explain yourself to someone like that. Walk tall. x

Tbh I say something similar to my sons cause they're lazy and regularly moan that we walk (literally 100m) when their friends get driven.

I'd just stop making eye contact w her if you think she's being a dick.

Gosh OP that is an awful lot of assumptions to make about someone you don't know based on facial expressions and one overhead comment.

Grey rock. Pretend you don't even notice her.

Sunglasses help but either way, just don't look in her direction or react. Grey rock always works on this sort of bully because they feed on your reaction.

She sounds like an idiot.

This.
Get on with your life, op. I doubt she’s giving you a fraction of the headspace you’re giving her.

Possibly this. We walk because we only live a mile away and I have sorted my work hours around the walk. Kids still mean a lot and I've told them to stop being lazy before. I may have looked at someone else unintentionally whilst saying it.

Or she could be a knob, there are plenty out there and plenty of people like to feel superior about their life choices.

Either way just ignore it, if it's the former she won't have even paid any attention to you and if its the latter then ignoring her won't give her the reaction she's looking for.

I had a school mum.stare blankly at me when I said hello ti her every school run, when I bumped into her at the shops. She would stare at me. Never once replied.

I just filed her in the oddball pile and after 6 months of trying, returned the favour and pretended she was invisible. She didn't talk to anyone that I could see in 9 years of that school run.

I believe you, OP.

Just ignore her or stare right back at her until she looks away.

She's trying to make you feel intimidated.

Do you have a really nice car? Do you have something else she could be jealous of?

Sensible answer.

So many posters on here spend so much time assuming way too much about what other mums (particularly on the school run) think of them.. there's a very good chance they're not thinking about you at all.

Unless they've given you reason to think otherwise, maybe don't go around assuming that the mum just walking her kid to school is blanking you, or giving you the side-eye, or smirking at you.. or talking about you (as another PP said, her comment may not have been directed at you at all). It's exhausting. They are mostly just ordinary women trying to get through the day as best they can, not thinking about ways they can offend you.

We live approx 7 mins walk from school but I still drive on the days I drop my daughter off as I then have to get to work for 9am which is pretty much impossible as it is

If it were me, I'd let it go first time but if she said it again look straight at her and say " Good for you'." smile and keep going.

Some people are strange, I've encountered some weird school mums in my time lol.

Hi. You might be best to post this on the ‘Secondary Education’ forum on Mumsnet if you search for it at the top. You may get more replies from people who could help x

Personally, this is the type of thing where I would be talking with her. Nicely.
I wouldnt want 5 years or however long of assuming something, which may not even be true.

Say something like, "oh the 15 minute drive was busy today", or "now there are traffic lights on such and such road, it makes my journey of 10 minutes more like 15" type thing. And then add "where do you live"? "do you walk every day even when raining".
Something of that nature.

Thanks everyone for your replies. I really do get the impression she is judging and I find it uncomfortable now when I see her, I sometimes see eyebrow raises etc. but I’ve started to just not look and ignore now

Just say “Sorry, do I know you?” and stop and look at her directly with a pissed off face. No blinking.

You need to metaphorically “show some teeth” with these people like a dog would as a warning that he could bite.

Wherever you live, it's none of her business

You sound about 3! sorry.

Not really, she’s just trying to do the school run while some random is making comments and smirks.

For heaven's sake, for all the OP knows the 'lazy' comment is because her child complains about walking to school and not intended for anyone other than her child, and the 'smirk' and 'eyebrow raises' are ordinary facial expressions which are nothing at all to do with the OP. Quite apart from anything else, the OP appears to have no evidence that this total stranger has any reason to think she lives close to the school and drives anyway. She has invented the entire 'judging because of driving to school' scenario.

I agree with the showing of teeth. If OP has this right then this type of woman might escalate because she will interpret OP's silence as weakness. (This is obviously the wrong interpretation as it is the stronger person who ignores this kind of behaviour but she wouldn't understand that).
I don't agree with saying 'Sorry, do I know you?' with a pissed off face. I would make it less aggressive but still direct. Something like 'Hello, your face seems familiar to me, do we know one another?'.

Escalate? Interpret op’s silence as weakness?
Wtf??

What ??😂