School run mum

[Rainbow877]

There is a mum on the school run who seems to have taken a disliking to me for whatever reason. Every time I see her she does a smug kind of smirk or stares at me. I think for some reason she thinks we live near the school but we actually live a 10/15 min drive to school. Yesterday when I walked past her she purposefully said to her child ‘we walk to school, we’re not lazy’ and looked at me for her reaction. What would you do?

Nahh just ignore her. I live a 10 minute walk from the school but I drive because I'm disabled and on day 3 of walking I'm in bed for the rest of the day, AND, I drop my daughter then go to the office, so I need to rush off. I don't care if anyone judges me, needs must! Just smile and carry on, don't let her ruin your morning

Say this

”gosh you’re right. We really shouldn’t be driving. Do you think you could pick up DC and walk them for me? My address is… does (whatever time you would need to leave) work?

Are you parking in a way that inconveniences pedestrians or endangers children?
If not, then she is a just a grumpy so and so who feels entitled to make judgements despite knowing very little about people’s situations. Or she feels insecure about her own parenting and feels the need to congratulate herself every so so often on what a stellar job she is doing 🙄🤣

I would loudly respond, "oh it must be lovely to live close enough to walk to school, we live a 15 minute drive away so not possible for us"

I find it best to always assume the best of people. It makes it easier to sleep at night, and you never know what someone is thinking or what they are going through.

ultimately though, what other people think of you is none of your business . Just go about your day and forget about her.

Of course OP doesn't know what this person is thinking

But half the comments seem to be missing the part where the person said OUT LOUD loud enough for OP to hear that they "walk to school, we're not lazy" while LOOKING DIRECTLY AT OP. While there could be some room for error in this assumption, it's a pretty strong cue that this person IS judging OP for something they know nothing about.

OP. Just ignore the person. Their judgement is unkind. They don't know your circumstances. Even if you did live round the corner, you might have another valid reason to drive children to school, such as a disability. This person isn't worth your time. Don't smile at them, don't talk to them, just ignore them and focus on getting your child to school.

And ignore all the commenters here telling you you don't know what she's thinking when she said is clearly out loud. They know less than you, and yet they seem to be giving this person the benefit of the doubt. I can't imagine they'd like to experience the hostility from them either.

Just ignore it, carry on with your day as normal and try not to even look in her direction and then you won’t know what she’s doing or saying. Don’t go out of your way to cause any conflict by commenting or watching her. It may not even be about you.
If she does have a bee in her bonnet about you driving, at some point she’ll probably find out/realise/over hear where you live anyway and she’ll feel like a right knob

One person's smirk is another person's smile 😶😂

I'm sure that she isnt so invested in you and how you get to school!

So what? She doesn't have any bearing on your life. Just smile give a good morning and get on with your day. Stop letting her get in your head, she's insignificant and her opinion doesn't matter in the slightest. You don't need to even engage with her comments. If your kids mention it then just say to them that sometimes people can be rude. How you react will be the biggest bearing to them.

Just a loud comment “it’s such a shame we live too far away to walk, some people live much closer than we do” to your child should do it.

My kids primary is a 35/40 minute walk for me (far longer with small kids) so just not practical. I occasionally used to drive there, then leave my car and walk home then back again for pick up when I was on mat leave, but it’s not practical on a working day.

Honestly? She doesn’t sound great. But what will annoy her more - your engaging with her or you being completely indifferent to her? Ignore her. If anyone else mentions it, be breezy. You don’t know why she always makes comments about you and you aren’t interested in them.

You might be mistaken, when my dd started nursery there was a mum at the gate who looked like a mean woman and for some reason I felt awkward about her,
Then when it was my dd birthday she said her dd couldn't make it which didn't surprise me but she said we can do something on her actual birthday so she didn't miss out on her present and we met up and 4 years later she's one of my best friends.

She still has a resting bitch face and looks like she's staring at people with an attitude but she isn't aware of it and it's not intentional.
She's actually got a lovely heart and would be gutted to think that was my first impression.

Honestly, whenever I meet people like this I kill it with niceness. If you gave a similarly snarky response she'd be pleased! This is what she wants. If however you were kind and friendly in response she'd be pissed off. She wouldn't know what do with her snarkiness. It always works for me.

I live a 10 minute walk from school but I'm off to work after in the same direction and don't want to walk back home and get my car.
If Mrs nosy thinks I'm lazy so be it, she doesn't need to know my business and that woman has no idea your circumstances either.

Just approaching her and ask her what her problem is

Not the school run but i work with someone who's just like this

Snide comments and dirty looks while stirring the pot with others

I kill him with kindness-not over the top but just enough so he looks like a twat if he carries on (which he does)

He can't claim I'm the nasty one (I'm not) but he does have a habit of running to the bosses claiming I have been

It's got him nowhere as I've genuinely not risen to him and his horrid comments

My advice is,big smile,'morning,lovely weather today!' and then walk off

It confuses the hell out of them

Oh who cares. She's a stranger who happens to have a child at the same school as you. Just ignore her.

Focus on your child. Be engaged and talking with your child. She can virtue signal about walking but you don’t need and aren’t seeking her approval or friendship. Smile say good morning and be unaffected by her. She does seem odd and I can see were it would be a bit stressful encountering her but drop off is business and treat it as such not an awkward party where you are being ignored or minimized. I do like @Whisperingsummerishere sunglasses idea for providing a bit of barrier to her stares.

Jaysis, why do you care ???

It is none of your business what people think of you.

Just live your best life and other people get on with theirs.

Even my 9 year old knows this

Or she may not have noticed you at all and this is all in your head. Many of us have busy lives, her “smirk” maybe her resting face or half-smile. You’ve created a big narrative about the thoughts of someone you don’t even know! And if you’re correct, so what? Why not talk to her?

Kill her with kindness. Oh you’re so lucky living close enough to do that! It takes us 15minutes to drive here; it would take us over an hour to walk.

Ignore and get on with your day. Life is too short and you can't accurately know what she's thinking.

Benefit of the doubt here but maybe her smirk is actually her smiling to you to try and be friendly. Do you ever smile back or say hello? If not why not?

You might find that's the Ice breaker for you both. If after the reciprocated hellos she is nasty then just move on. Learn to walk on by and not pay attention.

To see this you just be proper staring , stop it. You won’t see the looks anymore.