School run mum

[Rainbow877]

There is a mum on the school run who seems to have taken a disliking to me for whatever reason. Every time I see her she does a smug kind of smirk or stares at me. I think for some reason she thinks we live near the school but we actually live a 10/15 min drive to school. Yesterday when I walked past her she purposefully said to her child ‘we walk to school, we’re not lazy’ and looked at me for her reaction. What would you do?

Making arsey comments to complete strangers, as this woman is doing, isn't the answer though.

There's a few like this on my school run and I just say hello (most days) and smile, even though they ignore me or grimace when they see me. I'll keep being polite and nice and they can be miserable. I find it easier to be friendly than an arsehole tbh.

Why are you even giving this headspace? I couldn’t give two shits what anyone thinks about me. It’s none of my business. If she wants to snark let her get on with it - it keeps her busy and stops her annoying other people. A cheery, ‘MORNING!’ is a bit of fun if you can be arsed.

At least she's not waving an axe!

What would I do?
Nothing and not care and just get on with my life. Which is excatly what I did with school run nonsense years ago.
This stuff has always gone on. Best to take no notice and shake it off.

Thanks everyone for your replies. I really do get the impression she is judging
She probably is, but does it matter?
It doesn't affect your life. Just carry on doing whatever you are doing.

I remember having some woman stick her hand in my face to stop me talking as I was chatting with her friend.
I said "My God you're rude aren't you!" She replied "Maybe but at least I'm rich" I had no answer to that.

Make her invisible to you, so if you see her, look just past her in any direction, as if you're deep in thought or looking intently at something else. Practice this. Do not react to her. This is not someone you want to engage with ever. She's a loser. You are not.

Ignore this nasty person. Blank her. I bet she asks you for a driving favour soon- these people are always cf.

Next time I would address her directly and say "I really wish we lived close enough to walk but unfortunately it's just not safe for us and it's too far for DD to manage on her own. You know what it's like" and then roll your eyes and smile knowingly as if you've shared a joke.

She might laugh along and that's great. If she's still a bitch then she's just out to make enemies and I wouldn't bother again. But aside from anything else you might just embarrass her enough for her to learn to keep her opinions to herself.

I dunno, maybe you’re one of those people who couldn’t possibly imagine parking a few metres down the road so there’s less traffic around the school entrance? Maybe youve pulled up on the keep clear ‘just for a minute’? Who knows? We don’t, so unless you ask her you’re never going to know

I'd use it as a learning lesson for your own child. Smile to her and say GOOD MORNING! Then say to your child something like:

"See, it's always important to be polite to people, even if they are rude to you."

Using primary school logic, that means she fancies you.

Next time just smile and reply ‘Goodness, you’re so lucky you live close enough to walk to school! But you must hate all the traffic at this time of day!’

And walk on…

Strike up a conversation with her. Don't assume. Just say "that's lovely that you walk to school, how long does it take you to walk from home? Unfortunately we live too far to make it work but I would love to...." etc

Maybe she is judgemental, maybe you have got it all wrong and she is just socially inept, but there is no harm in having a friendly chat. She's less likely to make remarks like that if she gets to know you a bit.

Oh come on. Have you even bothered to read the original post?

I agree with you @SallyWD. if @Rainbow877 is sure she’s not parking like she’s on a bank raid or across someone’s drive etc etc*, and can’t just ignore the woman, then the next time she says pointedly “we walk to school, we’re not lazy”, very pointedly and direct and with a smile say cheerfully “oh aren’t you lucky to live within walking distance, I wish we could walk it in under an hour and me be able to get to work on time! How great to live close enough!”.

Whether she’s being unpleasant or you’ve misinterpreted what’s meant won’t matter as regardless of her you have been pleasant but direct.

*also check she doesn’t live next door to you because that would spoil the moment!

Agree with cantaloupe, strike up a conversation with her, find out more about the other side of this hot potato culture war, we don't live in bubbles, our actions affect others.

I cannot believe some of the replies on here? You sound like kids yourselves

Who honestly gives a fuck if some random mum gives you ‘ funny’ looks at the school gates? Or that she’s smirking and saying things to her child….

And why on earth would you confront her or try to make some random conversation about how you walk there or whatnot.

Just drop your child off and get on with your life ffs 🙄

Same at our school. Local residents very self righteous about people parking near their houses despite the school being there a long time and they almost certainly bought the house knowing it was beside a school. Regularly residents block their cars on the street across 2 parking spaces to prevent parents parking in them, asking people to move from legitimate parking spaces in front of their houses just to make a point...fairly sure there's residents association what's app group that they are all ranting about parents parking near school....
You're not alone! Not much you can do except ignore her

There’s a lot of weird gaslighting on these threads. The OP says somethings happening and some chime on about how it’s not, she’s over-reacting, she’s acting 3.

How can you say she's a nasty person when you don't know her? Or you don't know what's happened or context?

Definitely ignore her unless she says something directly to you. It's definitely not worth worrying about. Who cares what she thinks

I’m fairly direct and so would probably say something like “Sorry, can I help you? Because you appear to be unable to make eye contact with me without pulling silly faces or making passive aggressive comments towards me. If you’ve got something to say, please feel free to share it with me”. Typical mean girl school bully type who doesn’t have the back bone to address you but still wants to try and make you feel small. No thanks.

Agreed I’m very surprised at the very aggressive answers. Hurling abuse at rhe woman or advising the op to go on the offensive, convinced she must be right and advising how to escalate.

in reality it is hugely likely this woman is simply deeply uncomfortable the op keeps staring at her, the smirk an uncomfortable smile. And the comment to her kid in response to the kid whinging about walking, and looking up as she realised the op was staring again, which she clearly was. She had to have been.

this is much more likely than this random woman who doesn’t know the op from Adam, is giving the op as much headspace as the op is giving her.

its so bloody odd. It really is. That people imagine all these scenarios in their head, assume any comment to a child is aimed at them, and that everything someone does is about them. And then people agreeing , the woman doesn’t even know the op, and likely doesn’t care past the fact the op keeps watching her.