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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I know it's been done to death but I don't think people realise how hard it is to work in a school!

346 replies

user4692821 · 16/05/2024 20:37

I work in a small village primary school in the north. I'm so used to hearing people saying "oh I'd love to work in a school so I could have the holidays off" or something along the lines of "well you can't complain as you get so much holidays with the kids" etc.

My week normally consists of:

Being called a bch 3/4 times a day
Told to shut the fk up at least once a day
Being punched
Spat at

And that's just some of the 'bad' incidents. It's not mentioning the other more 'minor' incidents that happen constantly through the day.

I work with 6/7 year olds. In a mainstream school. It's not uncommon, most TA's have similar in their classes. When we meet people from other schools they say the same.

Yet we are constantly told to be grateful we have a job that gives us time off for our kids. I 100% get that it's lucky we can have the holidays off so we don't have to pay for childcare. However what I ask myself everyday is: is this worth my mental health? Because honestly (apart from NHS jobs or similar) where would you go in to work and expected to be treated like this and paid minimum wage?

OP posts:
Aspidistraelatior · 17/05/2024 01:19

echt · 17/05/2024 00:11

YABU OP and worse, misrepresent teaching, leaving it open for the bashers to swoop in.

You generalise. In reality, it's some people don't realise how hard it is to work in a school.

If you don’t mind, can you please explain how the OP has misrepresented teaching?

Codlingmoths · 17/05/2024 03:56

Aspidistraelatior · 17/05/2024 01:19

If you don’t mind, can you please explain how the OP has misrepresented teaching?

Show quote history

I have a relative who is a TA. They tried taking a regular more corporate job, tried a couple of them and didn’t work out and went back to schools. I remember them telling me (I work full time, very corporate role) in a tone of horror how they only got 4 weeks holiday a year and that’s totally incompatible with being a parent and how did ANYONE do that?! Me: I guess there’s some juggling involved.

like what did they think I would say?? So teaching/teaching support is hard but not everyone finds it the hardest!! (There would not be little kids swearing at school though)

Computercalendar · 17/05/2024 04:09

Why on earth are children swearing at teachers?! I would not expect primary school children to do that.

junebirthdaygirl · 17/05/2024 04:54

I have been teaching in lreland for 40 years..reaching retirement now and l have never once..not once..had a child swear at me, sput/ bite etc. We did hear about that in very deprived inner city areas but outside of that..never. I taught in a few different schools..large city..small rural over the years but never had it happen. Its very rare here to have an assistant as its only allowed if a child with very specific needs is in your class. So the job is demanding with large numbers at times.
My ds has told me in Secondary some kids did swear but it would be a huge rumus when they did and definitely not the norm. Sounds like UK schools have really got it tough.
Maybe some lrish teachers will be on to say my experience is not the norm but a lot of my friends are also teachers and they report no violence.
One thing l will say is: never be a teacher or a TA because the day is short/ family friendly etc..that is totally the wrong reason to pick that job .

Josette77 · 17/05/2024 05:05

I'm in Toronto and I know quite a few teachers and they have never been physically attacked or spat at!

They've been sworn at on occasion by teenagers, but that's rare.

Why are kids so out of control over there? This is horrifying to read!

ichundich · 17/05/2024 05:21

6 year olds calling you a bitch? Yeah right...

Ketchuponpizza · 17/05/2024 05:21

I am in Europe and also don't have this problem. The students and their families are very respectful towards staff. Of course there are always some parents who are more 'involved' than others, and require a little managing, but generally it's a calm profession in this sense. Respect for others and being able to contribute to our community is a part of our curriculum.

however, my Dsis works at a school in the north and tales that she has to tell are sometimes unbelievable and eye opening. It makes me
never want to return to the UK, in all honesty.

MumbleOrange · 17/05/2024 05:54

CaptainCallisto · 16/05/2024 21:14

I'm a TA in Y1, so 5 and 6 year olds. Just this week, I've been pinched, bitten, spat at, and called a "fat, ugly, useless cunt". The latter because it was raining and I asked a boy to put his coat on to go out for break.

I've been a TA since 2016, and I've never known anything like the last 18m or so. It feels like we can't actually teach anymore because we spend all our time fighting behavioural fires.

Whilst some of the parents we speak to about their children's behaviour are supportive and want to work with us (usually the parents of children with SEND), the vast majority just don't seem to care, or flat out don't believe us. A few weeks ago, a boy in my class tried to knock out his classmate with a full, metal water bottle. He was literally shouting that he was going to knock his teeth out and stamp on his head. When his mum was called in, her response was "Oh, isn't he a monkey!" with a big grin on her face.

I spent ten years working in community pharmacy, and my teens and early twenties working in retail. This is hands down the most difficult work environment I have ever experienced.

I'm a TA in Y1, so 5 and 6 year olds. Just this week, I've been pinched, bitten, spat at, and called a "fat, ugly, useless cunt".

A y1 child did this?? I am speechless. I must live in a bubble. I have never seen or heard of my kids’ peers behaving like this in their teen years, never mind at age five. WTH. I am sorry that happened to you. What kinds of homes do these kids come from 😔

HarryBlackberry1 · 17/05/2024 05:56

I have taught for 30 years, and the abuse that teachers and support staff receive nowadays is absolutely dreadful. Off the scale. It is a daily expectation that staff will be sworn at, spat at and hit. With no one to back them up. Don't get me started on the awful misogyny from young boys and men. Schools are haemorraging staff. Something has gone terribly wrong in the UK education system, and sadly I can only see things getting worse.

TomeTome · 17/05/2024 06:08

Most people need time to decompress after work. Many people have challenging roles, I know I would find being called a bitch by a 6 year old (or even a 16 year old) unpleasant but it doesn’t take a lot of imagination to think that other roles might have awful days. You might be a therapist listening to the pain of abuse, a dr delivering bad news, someone dealing with neglected animals, a farmer watching their crop rot, a bus driver receiving the frustration of commuters, we all have bad days and hard moments. I think teaching is an admirable profession but the idea that teachers work harder than everyone else and are unappreciated is unhelpful and inaccurate.

SweetChilliGirl · 17/05/2024 06:14

TomeTome · 17/05/2024 06:08

Most people need time to decompress after work. Many people have challenging roles, I know I would find being called a bitch by a 6 year old (or even a 16 year old) unpleasant but it doesn’t take a lot of imagination to think that other roles might have awful days. You might be a therapist listening to the pain of abuse, a dr delivering bad news, someone dealing with neglected animals, a farmer watching their crop rot, a bus driver receiving the frustration of commuters, we all have bad days and hard moments. I think teaching is an admirable profession but the idea that teachers work harder than everyone else and are unappreciated is unhelpful and inaccurate.

Where on earth did the OP say that teachers work harder than everyone else? She's not even a teacher. She's a TA who has been abused in her job and is entitled to start a thread about it FFS.

60andsomething · 17/05/2024 06:16

Havett · 16/05/2024 20:38

@user4692821 what about moving to a private school? You’d certainly be sworn at less

Why would you think that? Not my experience

TomeTome · 17/05/2024 06:19

SweetChilliGirl · 17/05/2024 06:14

Where on earth did the OP say that teachers work harder than everyone else? She's not even a teacher. She's a TA who has been abused in her job and is entitled to start a thread about it FFS.

Show quote history

The OPs post is about people “not realising how hard it is to work in a school” so it is entirely relevant to point out that it isn’t “harder” than many many jobs outside of school, isn’t it? At no point have I tried to suggest OP isn’t “entitled” to say anything.

User135644 · 17/05/2024 06:25

user4692821 · 16/05/2024 20:46

@SquirrelSoShiny something is definitely going wrong, and I fear that in 10 years time when these children start entering the work force is it going to become even more apparent! There is a constant ethos at the moment that children with behaviour issues have SEN issues etc. It's a common occurrence that I speak to parents about behaviour and they will say 'well it's not their fault, they have ADHd' or similar (when there is no diagnosis, I am not talking about children with diagnosis's) . The children then repeat this constantly in school. We are teaching the next generation that they can act however they please and there are no consequences

Or they just have issues with concentration and low attention span because parents just chuck a screen at them to watch all day.

OldChinaJug · 17/05/2024 06:28

ichundich · 17/05/2024 05:21

6 year olds calling you a bitch? Yeah right...

In my first year of teaching (nearly 20 years ago), there was a boy in my year 1 class who would frequently tell members of staff (and occasionally their friends parents') to "fuck off".

They don't really understand what they're saying at that age but they know it's bad, they've heard it said at home when one parent has annoyed another, they repeat it at school.

It was a rare occurrence in those days, though, I'll admit.

In the past 20 years, I've seen things get a lot worse.

Willmafrockfit · 17/05/2024 06:29

I met a teacher, still young, who had left recently and become a dog walker
that sounds like a fantastic option, something I might consider as well

OldChinaJug · 17/05/2024 06:31

TomeTome · 17/05/2024 06:19

The OPs post is about people “not realising how hard it is to work in a school” so it is entirely relevant to point out that it isn’t “harder” than many many jobs outside of school, isn’t it? At no point have I tried to suggest OP isn’t “entitled” to say anything.

Edited
Show quote history

But she didn't say it was 'harder' just that some people don't realise how hard it is. She wasnt making a comparison.

And it's true. A lot of people don't realise.

It's so bad that a lot of people think you're exaggerating or just making it up. I wish that were true.

User135644 · 17/05/2024 06:31

CaptainCallisto · 16/05/2024 21:14

I'm a TA in Y1, so 5 and 6 year olds. Just this week, I've been pinched, bitten, spat at, and called a "fat, ugly, useless cunt". The latter because it was raining and I asked a boy to put his coat on to go out for break.

I've been a TA since 2016, and I've never known anything like the last 18m or so. It feels like we can't actually teach anymore because we spend all our time fighting behavioural fires.

Whilst some of the parents we speak to about their children's behaviour are supportive and want to work with us (usually the parents of children with SEND), the vast majority just don't seem to care, or flat out don't believe us. A few weeks ago, a boy in my class tried to knock out his classmate with a full, metal water bottle. He was literally shouting that he was going to knock his teeth out and stamp on his head. When his mum was called in, her response was "Oh, isn't he a monkey!" with a big grin on her face.

I spent ten years working in community pharmacy, and my teens and early twenties working in retail. This is hands down the most difficult work environment I have ever experienced.

Poor parenting, weak society, no consequences, no boundaries or discipline at home or in school.

These are all bad things that contribute but that's been happening for a while. This sounds like a lockdown issue. It's wrecked kids development, combined with the above.

Willmafrockfit · 17/05/2024 06:31

my own dd is a ina/ta of only a few months
she doesnt want to become a teacher and only stays for the one child in year 6 - i will have to ask her if the children swear at her. as she looks after one child only i think she would have told me

Willmafrockfit · 17/05/2024 06:32

i dont think lockdown can be blamed - it absolutely sounds like poor parenting, poor home life, vicious circle

Einwegflasche · 17/05/2024 06:33

Havett · 16/05/2024 20:38

@user4692821 what about moving to a private school? You’d certainly be sworn at less

Tell me you spectacularly missed the point without telling me you spectacularly missed the point.

Original poster
user4692821 · 17/05/2024 06:33

@ichundich actually f*ing bitch is much more common day to day. If you think this doesn't happen now at that age then I suggest you try volunteering for a day in a school. It's not every child in the class, most are lovely. It's the few whose parents also speak to us like that.

@TomeTome I never said we work harder than anybody else. It's just frustrating that some people seem to think that TAs have a cushy time because of our work hours or having the holidays off. When in reality we are in minimum wage jobs and get abused on a daily basis.

OP posts:
Hepzibar · 17/05/2024 06:34

I'm in Further Education 16+
It doesn't get any better. Years of piss poor parenting as described on this thread is incredibly hard to turn around. We try. Behaviour incidents are at an all time high.
Listening to my colleagues in Secondary Schools we are in fear of what next years cohort (current Yr11's) will bring

Einwegflasche · 17/05/2024 06:35

user4692821 · 16/05/2024 20:37

I work in a small village primary school in the north. I'm so used to hearing people saying "oh I'd love to work in a school so I could have the holidays off" or something along the lines of "well you can't complain as you get so much holidays with the kids" etc.

My week normally consists of:

Being called a bch 3/4 times a day
Told to shut the fk up at least once a day
Being punched
Spat at

And that's just some of the 'bad' incidents. It's not mentioning the other more 'minor' incidents that happen constantly through the day.

I work with 6/7 year olds. In a mainstream school. It's not uncommon, most TA's have similar in their classes. When we meet people from other schools they say the same.

Yet we are constantly told to be grateful we have a job that gives us time off for our kids. I 100% get that it's lucky we can have the holidays off so we don't have to pay for childcare. However what I ask myself everyday is: is this worth my mental health? Because honestly (apart from NHS jobs or similar) where would you go in to work and expected to be treated like this and paid minimum wage?

I hear you @user4692821.
I'm not a teacher but am aware of 'happenings' due to connections. Teaching staff deserve better. I don't think it's ever been the easy job some people think, but it is definitely getting more and nore challenging. As you said, better holidays only go so far when work is hell!

User135644 · 17/05/2024 06:36

JustWingItLifeEyelinerEverything · 16/05/2024 22:31

Such incidents are extremely rare in my son's primary because regardles of the child's SEN status or behavioral challenges it immediately ends up with suspension. Yes there were, but very rare.

If schools won't enforce boundaries and discipline, then of course kids will act up. Children test boundaries, it seems the school culture is to let them continually up the ante. It's bad for them as well. And parenting is the same.