I know it's been done to death but I don't think people realise how hard it is to work in a school!

[user4692821]

I work in a small village primary school in the north. I'm so used to hearing people saying "oh I'd love to work in a school so I could have the holidays off" or something along the lines of "well you can't complain as you get so much holidays with the kids" etc.

My week normally consists of:

Being called a bch 3/4 times a day
Told to shut the fk up at least once a day
Being punched
Spat at

And that's just some of the 'bad' incidents. It's not mentioning the other more 'minor' incidents that happen constantly through the day.

I work with 6/7 year olds. In a mainstream school. It's not uncommon, most TA's have similar in their classes. When we meet people from other schools they say the same.

Yet we are constantly told to be grateful we have a job that gives us time off for our kids. I 100% get that it's lucky we can have the holidays off so we don't have to pay for childcare. However what I ask myself everyday is: is this worth my mental health? Because honestly (apart from NHS jobs or similar) where would you go in to work and expected to be treated like this and paid minimum wage?

I've worked jobs where that sort of thing is 'normal' but it shouldn't be in a school. As well as teachers, it's worth noting that children are witnessing this. Exposure to violence is linked to poorer outcomes and we are putting children into situations where they witness violence. At the least the teachers can theoretically leave!

DD (before 13) has seen people attacked with scissors, hit, kicked, sworn at, chairs thrown and more. That shouldn't happen.

The answers aren't popular and are expensive. So they won't happen.

One of the utilities showrooms
we had bill payments ,customer service. And retail
bill payment was the most abusive
retail tended to be bringing products back no receipt completely shit up demanding refunds as they apparently bought it yesterday paid cash no receipt

it ties in what what OP is saying all this in front of the kids and they just repeat this behaviour at school

I completely agree. I've got a couple of kids like this in my class. I've got one kid who thinks he doesn't need to try at all because he's dyslexic.
Another who thumps other kids and when you question her about it she says 'i can't help it. I have ADHD.'
I'm sorry, but there is no excuse for violence. These kids are all entering the same society. You knock someone out, you're involved with the police, ADHD or not.

I'm a TA in Y1, so 5 and 6 year olds. Just this week, I've been pinched, bitten, spat at, and called a "fat, ugly, useless cunt". The latter because it was raining and I asked a boy to put his coat on to go out for break.

I've been a TA since 2016, and I've never known anything like the last 18m or so. It feels like we can't actually teach anymore because we spend all our time fighting behavioural fires.

Whilst some of the parents we speak to about their children's behaviour are supportive and want to work with us (usually the parents of children with SEND), the vast majority just don't seem to care, or flat out don't believe us. A few weeks ago, a boy in my class tried to knock out his classmate with a full, metal water bottle. He was literally shouting that he was going to knock his teeth out and stamp on his head. When his mum was called in, her response was "Oh, isn't he a monkey!" with a big grin on her face.

I spent ten years working in community pharmacy, and my teens and early twenties working in retail. This is hands down the most difficult work environment I have ever experienced.

I really feel for you, I wasn’t that sympathetic to teachers a few years ago but honestly some of the utter disrespectful shit you put up with is extraordinary. I think we just have a lot of really shit parents around tbh, people can blame poverty etc but many of us grew up with not much and absolutely knew that if we called our teacher anything other than “yes miss” our parents would have gone utterly mental. It doesn’t bear thinking about what my mum would have done to me if I had told a teacher to “fuck off”.

I’m at my wits end too and desperate to leave after 25 years. I worked internationally for a long time but since coming to the UK five years ago I have been totally beaten down by poor behaviour. Today I was told to shut up when I asked a Y7 to stop shouting as she walked into the lesson, then I was told to shut the f**k up when I challenged her again. She then stormed out, slammed the door so hard it swung back and damaged a book shelf. Stormed out to the corridor and slammed a main door which took plaster and paint off a wall. I know she will be back tomorrow, angrier and more determined to make my life a misery.
I am so done, can’t face it day in day out anymore. Most parents don’t care and I just dread to think what the future holds. I’m already feeling sick about going in tomorrow. The only thing that keeps me going is trying to do my best for the lovely kids that I want to help to get through the outdated curriculum that we all have to navigate.
Thank god it’s Friday tomorrow and I can have 36 hours or so before I have to start dreading Monday morning again.

The police seem as bullied as teachers and don’t do much to stand up to it!

what about moving to a private school? You’d certainly be sworn at less

Yes instead of telling you to fuck off they'd tell you to fuck orrffff

Have you considered getting another job?

That's what school staff are doing in droves. There is a major recruitment and retention crisis in the UK, and it is just going to get worse if things continue as they are.

I have been a TA since 2014 and agree it has got worse. In my opinion most of the problems are caused by the parents. They fall broadly into 3 camps. 1) The piss poor parent who couldn’t give a toss and will defend their child and not accept any responsibility as it’s all the schools fault or they have ADHD or insert any other type of self diagnosed SEN. No, this child is a product of their upbringing. They have no boundaries at home so they think it’s ok to do as they please at school and schools have very little power because fixed term exclusions are frowned upon. 2) The overly invested parent who complains about every minor issue. These parents are keyboard warriors and will e mail daily something or another and demand regular meetings with the teacher, headteacher. In their eyes their child is the only relevant child in the school and they do not lie, ignore the rules, are not capable of being deliberately unkind to their peers.These parents are quick to want instant punishments given to other children for minor infringements but will not accept the same treatment for their own offspring because they would never do that. 3) The last ones are the smallest group and are the nice, measured parents who have firm boundaries, high expectations of behaviour, respect for the adults in school and do not think their child is always right. They genuinely appreciate the time and effort that goes into helping their children develop both academically and socially/emotionally. These parents are why I am still around. Interestingly, most of the SEN parents fall into this group.

The majority of our TAs are doing exactly this. I don't blame them. They put up with a lot and have to work so hard for not enough money.

But I don't know how we're going to manage without them.

But it's ok, the government says TAs don't make an impact so are not needed...

So sorry you’re going through this. Schools sound hard places to work. As a parent, I just want to say I’m immensely grateful to you

That is actually the problem. We cannot recruit. Deadline is next week. We are offering a number of different incentives. No one is applying.

I left teaching 3 years ago, I was spat in the face one too many times. Many parents have no fucks to give at the behaviour of their children and it’s always someone else’s fault. I could write a book at the things I’ve witnessed.

It really is a shame. My DS has leaning support and his TA is completely amazing.

Unfortunately I don't think the pay or the behaviour is going to change - societies supportive attitude to discipline and respect has all but diminished.

From what I've heard private school is worse!

I feel your pain. I just resigned from my school job. Its very very tough. We cannot recruit and all the cover teachers sre from abroad.

I’ve no doubt this is your experience as I’ve witnessed this at some schools but it definitely is not happening at all primary schools. I’d find a nicer school tbh. I refuse to be threatened by children or adults.

I've only been a parent helper, but just that little taste was enough to put me off. There are some jobs you know you'd just suck at, and teaching is top of that pile for me. I'd have more luck as a brain surgeon. Huge respect and thanks to all of you.

I’m support staff in a secondary school. Pastoral admin which is basically managing our detentions and isolations. It’s a truly awful role and I wish I’d left after my first week. I have no problems with the students, it’s the parents. Very few accept that their child could ever misbehave and I’m sworn and shouted at over the phone on an almost daily basis.

I am massively overworked regularly working an extra 2-3 hours a day (unpaid). I’ve just found out today my role is under threat of redundancy so it looks like I will be out of a job by September. I never want to work in a school again.

My child has asd and adhd and has never behaved like this. I'd be mortified ! I teach 16 to 19 yr kids and they aren't any better. It's all about behaviour management and not much teaching!

That is vile and I’d be gone if it happened even once.

It starts from parents. An old friend of mine did some revolting things to teachers at school like spitting on their tea. 20 years later it’s no surprise she now sends me messages chuckling about the “clever”( ie. Rude ) things her teens say to teachers and she is forever on the teachers back if she thinks her children have been wrongfully punished or even for minor things like them cancelling a school trip due to staff shortages . One of her kids even slapped a TA in primary school. She is very entitled but is constantly believing her kids even when it’s clear to me at least they’re lying.

i feel like shaking her when she says “I can tell when my kids are lying” ok yeah whatever 😐

its not nice but not the only job with those problems, I worked in Mcdonalds for about 3 weeks after I left school and had the same, I’d rather have children spitting and swearing at me than full grown adults!

My youngest dc left primary school 8 years ago and I would say most parents were respectful and supportive of staff and so were pupils. How has it got so bad in the intervening years?