To feel this was inappropriate of childminder?

[Porpoising]

My 1 year old goes to a childminder 3 days a week Wednesday - Friday.

Wednesdays I have a meeting so pick her up 530. Thursdays I stay a bit later to plan and get organised, so similar pick up time. Fridays I pick her up a bit earlier at around 4.

Childminder has told me that it’s upsetting for my daughter to be the ‘last one’ and she feels she would benefit from me trying to get her a bit earlier. I’m really upset by it. AIBU?

I'd definitely look into other options it's a long time until your child is at school and if the child minder is already playing the guilt game it's going to be a rough couple of years.

I think it’s unprofessional of her to be honest. She is playing on your mum guilt when she should be reassuring you. Could you look at a nursery instead where it won’t be such an issue? To me it sounds as though it would suit her if your DD left earlier.

It's BS of the childminder to guilt trip you about your daughter being the last one. It's literally her job to mind her until you come and get her. It's a very passive aggressive and unfair way of asking to clock off early - she should change her hours if she doesn't want to look after children until that time, not make you feel bad about using her own services. I'd be peeved if the child minder said this to me.

Back when I used a childminder I had one child who hated being last and one who loved being last.

I still had to be at work either way and I think the childminder is being a dick putting this on you.

The ops priority is her child, to care and provide for that child she needs to earn money or are you implying the OP should quit her job to prioritise looking after her child herself and end up homeless?

@ForAPicnic I am going to guess - SAHM?

She's trying to guilt you so she can finish earlier than the time she is paid until. Do you work in a school but still have to pay school holidays childminding? Is that why she isn't happy about you bringing DD in school holiday?

My priorities don’t ’lie elsewhere’ at all.

It would be incredibly stupid to cause both short and long term financial problems by resigning from a job that is part time and gives me holidays off in order to not upset a one year old twice a week for about an hour and a half.

You're not upsetting your one year old. You're upsetting her child minder who wants a freebie. She's out of order and so is that poster who thinks people who put their kids in child care have other priorities.

but she doesn’t know who have zero control of the time you arrive to collect

she was giving you information about your child with no ultimatum.

It was information. Do with it as you wish. But if you really think she’s trying to make you feel guilty, then is this someone you want looking after your child?

😄

Just tell your cm as she clearly struggles with the contracted times you'll look elsewhere but it will take time,

Any experienced cm should be able to entertain one dc. The fact she is trying to guilt trip you is shit and for that reason alone I'd get rid.

I would put money on the CM wanting an earlier finish

but if the op really thinks this might be the case

why the heck is she leaving her daughter with someone like this 3 days a week??

Ignore the silly comment about priorities, OP. Working to provide a good quality of life for your child is prioritising her, you don't need to "action" anything apart from perhaps finding a better childminder who doesn't try to get out of doing their job properly by trying to guilt trip you.

Shes being honest, if you don’t want to know about when your child has been distressed then just tell the CM that.

If you have holidays off and still send a baby to the childminder then that's why she's funny with you about the holidays.

Whose money do you live off?

Why shouldn't she use the childcare a few times a week when shes paying for it? Its not like she's sending the child down the mines whilst she puts her feet up.

It's only just happened and she's here saying it's made her think twice about using her. Also you can be a piss taker and a perfectly adequate child minder, the two aren't mutually exclusive.

Funny how paying your bills and putting food on the table and clothes on your kid’s back becomes a priority, especially when you have a safe and effective option for childcare.

STOP 👏 GUILT TRIPPING 👏 WORKING 👏 MOTHERS

well @ForAPicnic uses a nursery for children according to another thread so possibly not a SAHM?

wrong thread

‘Leaving her daughter with someone like this’?

It’s a childminder. Are you unaware or strangely aghast that working parents utilise childcare?