To feel this was inappropriate of childminder?

[Porpoising]

My 1 year old goes to a childminder 3 days a week Wednesday - Friday.

Wednesdays I have a meeting so pick her up 530. Thursdays I stay a bit later to plan and get organised, so similar pick up time. Fridays I pick her up a bit earlier at around 4.

Childminder has told me that it’s upsetting for my daughter to be the ‘last one’ and she feels she would benefit from me trying to get her a bit earlier. I’m really upset by it. AIBU?

Mine went 8am to 6pm 3 days a week from 9 months. It'll be more upsetting for your daughter if you lose your job 🤷

What's her issue with the school holidays?

YANBU. It's one thing to mention that she is upset about being the last, but telling you to come earlier is out of line.

Sounds like the childminder isn't making much of an effort to entertain her and keep her mind off it.
3 days a week isn't a lot either, ours are at nursery 3 days a week and plenty children are there 5 days, doing longer hours. I'm sure most people would love not to have work commitments or to just leave earlier as and when they please, but many can't.

She's just being honest with you, surely you want her to be honest with you about your child?

Which day does she mean? Thursday? Or both Wednesday and Thursday? If she's doing it because you've told her that you're planning on a Thursday she is a bit of a CF.

I would tell her that you are working and that's that, then ask what she has in mind to help DD get used to this as her care provider.

I think there’s a difference between telling me stuff I can control and stuff that largely I can’t. I do find it inappropriate and I’m surprised so many here would apparently welcome it as what I’m hearing is she is unhappy.

It is best that she tells you - it may also be self interest as it’s hard to keep a child happy when they’re upset they’ve not yet been collected.
if you can be flexible then I would change your meeting time and collect by 5 on all days.

But what she should have said was ‘don’t t worry, I’ll do XYZ with her ‘. Mine was once the last at nursery and was a bit upset when the others had gone, but staff had given him loads of attention and not tried to guilt trip me. Sounds to me like she wants to finish early.

If she offers her services until a certain time she shouldn’t be trying to make you feel guilty because you’re using her services until said time.

You have to work it’s a fact of life. Don’t let her make you feel guilty.

I don’t think it’s ‘inappropriate’ of childminder to mention it- most parents want a cm to be honest with them as to how their child is. If that’s the way your work hours are just say so? But by letting you know you have the facts, to do what you see best.

That's pretty crappy of the child minder to be honest. You have to work, telling you she's upset and you need to come earlier is not helpful feedback when you obviously can't just finish and collect her early. What good is telling you something that you can't fix, she should be trying hard to make it a special time and keep your daughter occupied so she's not missing you.

She’s taking the piss and wants to finish early
even if she was upset and verbalised it which I very much doubt
she’s in a position to give your daughter 1-2-1 attention and deal with it

Assuming you pay the childminder until 5.30 then yanbu to pick up at that time. Sounds like the childminder just enjoys those days where she gets to start her evening early and would like it to happen every time!

I can’t change the meeting time. It’s set, part of my hours. On Wednesdays I am contracted until 515. The only way out of this would be resigning.

What the childminder means is that they are left with one child and have to look after one child instead of two or more kids entertaining themselves. Tell her that you are within the agreed times that you pay for. I’d say to look for another childminder.

How bizarre! your dc stays as long as you pay her surely. I'd find another cm.

A one year old doesn’t have any real sense of being “the last one” surely?

It’s obviously fine for the CM to say your DD is unsettled towards the end of the day, or prefers it when there are other children around, but suggesting that you cut your working day short is really odd.

I think you need to be firm with the childminder that you can't collect any earlier on those days and ask her if there's something she can think of to make it less upsetting for your daughter.

I probably will explore other options as it has made me feel very uncomfortable, but I’m stuck with it until the next few weeks at least!

i am in the same boat
My childminder said the same to me very recently.
I DID NOT welcome it.

it is what it is.
i pick her up at 5.50 or 6 and that’s it.

i agree it’s info you didn’t “need to know”

what were the agreed hours with childminder at the start ? Or what hours do you pay for?
and what hours does she advertise?

Op is WORKING not sat at home with her feet up. Op is upset because she loves her child but wants to or has to work. Go and post your comments on the daily mail you'll be more at home there.

Child minder wants to finish early.

Have a chat with all the other parents and get them to pick up later. Sorted 😊