To feel this was inappropriate of childminder?

[Porpoising]

My 1 year old goes to a childminder 3 days a week Wednesday - Friday.

Wednesdays I have a meeting so pick her up 530. Thursdays I stay a bit later to plan and get organised, so similar pick up time. Fridays I pick her up a bit earlier at around 4.

Childminder has told me that it’s upsetting for my daughter to be the ‘last one’ and she feels she would benefit from me trying to get her a bit earlier. I’m really upset by it. AIBU?

It'll be so much easier with only one pick up and drop off at least!

Sane here- I'm also a childminder, and have a 3 year old mindee who hates being last- but only because he struggles to amuse himself and wants someone to play with! I usually get him on tidy up duty!

I actually genuinely believe that on the whole a CM in a homely setting is better for under 2s. But I don't believe any CM is better than any nursery. So it's a case of finding the right setting for your child. You tried this one and it didn't work for you, understandably. Another CM may do, or a nursery may suit better.

Until the older one starts school anyway

Ermmm I think not.

As a former childcare provider it seems off for her to say this unless your Dd is especially upset, but even then it should be worded tactfully. Your Dd is there so you can work. This is normal. Someone has to be the last one out and the childminder should be reassuring your Dd that you’ll be there soon and finding ways to keep her entertained until that time.

Why do you think not?

It's a very logical explanation for why she thought she could lean on OP to come earlier and express dissatisfaction at OP expecting her to provide holiday childcare?

Where did I judge you? I judged someone suggesting it was reasonable to sit outside a childcare setting looking at texts for 25 minutes when a child was upset inside. You said you wouldn't do that so why would that be judging you, in reference to my DD and DDiL I was saying it is reasonable for parents to have time to themselves. To be honest the fact you have taken that as judgement makes me wonder how you have judged what the childminder said, you are obviously being touchy about this so maybe she was perfectly reasonable when she was making suggestions about what your child needs. The good thing is she alerted to your child's distress, you have worked out it is tiredness and have found a setting that will hopefully work better for your child's needs. Isn't that what everyone wants?

You sound extremely judgemental
@Iwasafool!

It doesn’t matter whether I would sit outside or I wouldn’t. You believe that is wrong. I don’t. I pointed out there’s not really any significant difference in sitting outside in a car and sitting around at home.

I had the same with one child. She was the last one to be collected. They told me she would cry for half an hour before collection. I understand that they had to inform me, because she was all red around the eyes and emotional. One of the new staff tried distracting her with a popular toy. It would be hard to access all day, due to its popularity but free at the end of the day. This was an effective idea. She started to look forward to the others going home, in order to play with the coveted mobile toy! Perhaps ask your childminder if she can try bringing out a popular toy to help distract her?

Perhaps ask your childminder if she can try bringing out a popular toy to help distract her?

I would be questioning my CM's ability if I found myself suggesting they use special 'end of the day' toy to distract a child.

I take it today is one of your days off OP 😆

@ZipZapZoom

I haven't seen anyone say she was wrong to bring it up

loads have

whilst i do get a whiff of judgey-pants about @Iwasafool

the last comment is bang on

The good thing is she alerted to your child's distress, you have worked out it is tiredness and have found a setting that will hopefully work better for your child's needs. Isn't that what everyone wants?

what do you do for childcare for your older one?

Edit: nursery. apologies

have you discussed this with your partner OP? or are you a single parent?

Have you read the thread at all Greenbeans?

apologies

my bad

you’ve posted. a lot!

Ill make myself a tea and settle down…

for what it’s worth, @Iwasafool ob another thread about wraparound care

Iwasafool
My GSs both hated it, I altered my hours at work so I could pick them up.

So you altered your hours. But not their parents. Did you judge them?

Yes, it’s my thread. I’ve answered people. It’s interesting you think I’ve posted a lot as you’ve actually posted at least as much as I have, if not more.

yes

im recovering from an op with self sufficient children. and bored out of my tiny brain!

and no where near as many posts as you OP!

where do you clarify whether you are single or their father is in the picture and has a view on the situation?

i was only asking for his view on it 🤷