to not have realised how abusive and horrible men were until I joined MN

[geoger]

Been on MN a while now and I must admit that it has really opened my eyes to how abusive and horrible some men are. I’m not ignorant, I know that men can be violent, controlling, abusive etc - I read loads, watch the news and documentaries but I just didn’t realise the depths of depravity some men reach. Every day there are threads where women are physically, emotionally, financially and sexually abused by their so called ‘d’ h/p that I find really worrying and distressing.
Some of these threads still play on my mind and I worry for the women who posted them.
I feel so stupid and naive and trusting. MN has really opened my eyes. Has anybody else experienced this worry for other women on here or am I just living in a bubble?
I know this is AIBU but please no bashing

Lol, to summarise I meant exactly what I wrote, not whatever words you want to put in my mouth.

When you hate men so much, anybody that stands up for both sexes is a bigot in your eyes. Just like how some right wing nutjobs think that anyone that disagrees is a bleeding heart lefty.

Difference between me and most on here is I'll defend both sexes from bigotry.

Not a lot because they've ignored all the other stats and links to cherry pick one, ignored everything that would show the bigger picture and provide any kind of context, ignored the avalanche of contradictory research and accepted thinking all the while not responding to the points put to them. Quite a feat.

My children just used to stick their fingers in their ears and scream blah blah blah but they grew out of it 👍

There are over 80,000 women killed by men every year. The ones we know about.

By any stretch of the imagination that is not rare.

The ability to minimise a figure that large takes some doing.

You've quoted the wrong poster. Our dear friend, Walrus, is the one minimising the deaths of women and the violence of men towards women, and declaring what we are/are not allowed to talk about on this thread.

Yes sorry I agree with what you said. I was trying to back you up. I should have tagged specifically.

That's okay!

@WalrusOfLove
“When you hate men so much, anybody that stands up for both sexes is a bigot in your eyes. Just like how some right wing nutjobs think that anyone that disagrees is a bleeding heart lefty.

Difference between me and most on here is I'll defend both sexes from bigotry”.

If the OP had been about whether men commit more violence against women than women do against men, your statistics about female DV against men would be relevant to the discussion.

This thread is NOT about that.
Nor is it about “all men”. (In fact, the OP, and multiple other posters, have explicitly said “some men”).
It’s specifically about those men who abuse women.

Why did you feel the need to defend men, on a thread about male abuse and violence against women?

What was it about women sharing their reactions to their own lived experiences of how some men have behaved towards them, towards women they know, or towards women who have posted for support and advice on these boards, that caused you to react so defensively?

It's obv a lot of women but proportionate to the human population of billions it isn't.

Would you say £80k divided between the population of the world is a lot?

It’s huge when you compare it to the number of women killing men.

If 98% of killers were women not men you would be arguing that women need to be under a curfew.

If that's your view then, that it's not a lot, you are going to a lot of effort to defend men here.

I happen to think that 80,000 is a lot.

Fuck me .. they're human beings, not £1 coins.

You've shown your true colours haven't you. You're not the least bit interested in violence against women are you, despite your assertion that you are just some kind of truth speaker defending both sexes.

Oh, that's ok then. Next time a woman goes to the police to report DV they can just be told that they are statistically insignificant and be sent on their way.

Do you not consider one murdered woman to be one too many? How many women do have to be murdered by men for it to be of any concern to you? 800,000? 8,000,000? After all £8million divided between the world's population would still be only pennies each so by your logic, 8,000,000 women murdered by men would still be insignificant to you.

What's that American saying, "a hit dog hollers"?

Seems like we have a lot of hollering dogs on this thread, who apparently have had their tails stood on.

What's funny is that they are literally the type of men the OP is referring to, and they don't realise how obvious it is to all of us.

app.independent.co.uk/2024/05/16/britains-kindest-plumber-apologises-for-fake-stories/content.html

Absolutely this

Currently In the UK women forcing men to have sex with them without consent is not legally classed as rape no

so Rebecca Joynes, the high school teacher who had sex with 2 of the children in her school is not on trial for rape but sexual assault

if it was a male teacher he would be classed as a rapist and he would face up to life in gaol. The female teacher a maximum of 10 years for sexual assault.

in the US women who force men to have sex without their consent are guilty of rape

Its shameful is what it is. Spending all day on MN peddling their agenda, hindering discussion of a serious subject, not even acknowledging posts from women survivors on this very thread, as though those women didn't even speak. Spineless failure to engage when it's another man disagreeing with them, not even a peep out of them to challenges from men, was there? Yet still badgering away for the attention of the female posters. They should be ashamed.

The lack of awareness here is absolutely tragic. Ever heard of male pattern offending? Male offending is more serious, persistent and violent (Lanctot and LeBlane, 2002).

Interestingly men haven't needed to organise reclaim the night marches because they can't step out of their homes in the evenings without justified fear of harassment, violence and sexual assault by women.

Nor have they needed to build a refuge movement because of the commonplace experience of repeated serious assaults in their homes.

This site is obviously very skewed, though. As has been said, people aren't posting about their happy times. There are also a LOT of trolls and made up stories. Life isn't as grim as this site would like you to think.

I'm just going to 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 at your ridiculous comment.

I'm reading through and using the "Thanks" button as a
"like" button.

I'd never suggest a curfew. It's insane and wouldn't work. I mean, who would enforce a male curfew anyway?

But most of all it would be insane to curfew 50% of society for the actions of something like 0.0001% of men.

Interestingly men haven't needed to organise reclaim the night marches because they can't step out of their homes in the evenings without justified fear of harassment, violence and sexual assault by women.

So if the main victims of violence haven't needed to then why do women? I read on another recent thread that men are 4x more likely than women to be attacked by a stranger and make up 70% of homicide victims.

And yes I'm sure you'll point out that it's other men doing the attacking but surely that's victim blaming. An innocent male victim can't be blamed for being attacked just because he shares the same sex as his attacker.

That's the issue with people who only care about male/female and ignore all other demographics like perpetrator/victim, innocent/guilty, and violent/non violent. It's not women's fault and nobody is saying that but neither is an innocent male at fault for being assaulted. A black or homosexual man who gets beaten up in a homophobic/racist attack isn't responsible just because he is male and doesn't 'deserve it' - his sex may be the only characteristic he shares in common with his attacker.

If all men are held responsible for male violence then we have this odd dynamic where a man is simultaneously a victim of violence but also held responsible for his own assault just by being a man. 🤔

What's ridiculous about it? Do you really believe everything anyone says online? And do you also not realise that even if all these stories are true, they still don't mean that most men are crap? Just the ones that are posted about on this site? If you don't, then I hope you haven't been wooed by any Nigerian princes or bridge selling New Yorkers lately, as you'd provide a nice little nest egg for them. Good grief.