Wedding

[MumofHennHals]

We are getting married next August,

We are going to do a rehearsal dinner - people don't need to attend, but happy for people to attend, AIBU if I ask people to contribute £50 to pay for their set menu / unlimited 2 hours worth of drinks if they decide to come to it?

How also could I word this to say it's an 'option' and it'll cost them £50

Frankly, I just wouldn’t do it, unless you can afford to pay for it. People are already paying to travel to your wedding, get something to wear, give you a present, maybe pay for accommodation. Just don’t add anything else on, optional or not.

I don’t think you can ask people to come to some tong wedding related and then ask them to pay £50?! Surely a wedding rehearsal will just be the bridal party anyway so they’ll have to go to the meal if that’s what you’re planning but you can’t make them pay if they ‘have’ to go?

It's expensive enough coming to a wedding. Id either pay and just invite immediate family or not invite people.

What’s the point of a rehearsal dinner? Is it at the venue?

All of this.
Just don't do it.

The night before the wedding is a time to just be with your closest family anyway. I don't get why you would want a big do the night before a big do!

Dear [Name],
As we countdown to our special day, we invite you to join us for our rehearsal dinner on [Date], an evening where we come together to celebrate and prepare. The dinner will be held at [Venue], starting at [Time].
We've planned a delicious set menu and unlimited drinks for 2 hours to ensure a delightful evening. To help cover the costs of this gathering, we're asking each guest who chooses to attend to contribute £50.
Please let us know by [RSVP Date] if you'll be joining us. Your presence would mean the world to us, but we completely understand if you choose to rest up for the big day instead.
Looking forward to celebrating together!
Warm regards,
[Your Names]

I won't be asking my bridal party to pay, I won't be asking family to pay. I just know I've got some friends who live out of the area coming down for the wedding, and I few who live near who will be interested in coming and I can't pay for £100 to attend, as I know if some friends come and it's 'free' others will want too aswell.

But they're more than welcome to join, but I can't stump up £50 for people ( I can't afford it frankly with the big day the next day ) when they're not obliged to come.. if that makes sense

YABU OP, sorry.

I'd be mightily pissed off if asked to and expected to pay for a 'rehearsal dinner', especially if I'd no doubt have wedding and hen/stag related costs already.

We did back to ours and drinks/easy dinner at our home after ours, a really relaxed affair and no pressure to attend (though everyone did and we had a lovely time)

We did a dinner the day before our wedding as lots of people were travelling and just put a section on the invite saying we were going for dinner, everyone was welcome to join us, they just needed to let us know numbers and choices so we could book and they could prepay 😊 we had about 30 people come!

Just keep it to bridal party and family, don't mention to anyone else

Can't afford it, don't do it.
Seriously, it's a really bad idea.

Then make it easy and don't ask any extra friends. I'm not sure unlimited drinks is a great idea the night before 😂

People aren't understanding me. PEOPLE WANT TO JOIN US. If some join, others will want too also.

I don't know what else I'm supposed to say here 😂

If I offer it free for 5 friends, and another 5 want to come because they have heard about it. It's simply £500 I don't have.

If they're coming to stay at a premier inn for the wedding, they'll be going to find somewhere to eat anyway. So they might not be that miffed, if they choose to spend it with us the night before?

Why do you have to rehearse eating your dinner? Surely you know how to do that?

It's a tradition.. ROLY POLY 😂

It's the sort of thing that's better said on an individual basis eg to those who have travelled, eg "if you want to join us the night before we are heading to x it's £50 a head for the set menu including drinks let me know.

It's very much an American thing isn't it?

I personally wouldn't come with the wedding being the next day, I'd be thick of fake tan 😂

Really? You have a practice dinner to make sure you know how to eat your dinner on the day of the wedding. Weird but ok.

We had a dinner for everyone who was staying the night before and paid for everyone, felt like the right thing to do after people had paid so much already. We include one drink though and everyone bought their own after that.

You can’t ask people to pay, to practice eating the dinner they’re going to have again the next day!!

That’s daft!!!!

Unless you sre in the USA it is very much NOT tradition.

You don't need a rehearsal dinner. Just say "we'll be eating at X pub at 7pm, so if anyone wants to come along, you're more than welcome to join us". Then anyone who wants to be there will just order their own food & drink at the bar. You know, exactly like when you go out with your friends in normal life.... That's been my experience of weddings when I stayed over the night before - it really doesn't need to be complicated.

Just because they want to come doesn't mean that they should come. The rehearsal dinner traditionally is for the wedding party and close family.

Can't they organize their own group outing at a restaurant, or could one of the locals host a BBQ for out-of-towners?

Ha, no chance! Either keep it to the chosen few, or do something different for more that doesn't require people paying. I've never heard of anyone having a rehearsal dinner outside of the US. Rehearsing which part of the wedding exactly? I'd have thought the eating is what most people are most experienced with?

We had some friends and family who'd travelled for our wedding so for the evening before we invited both sides of the wedding party + everyone that had travelled (amounted to about 20 people) and we booked a private room in a nice bar. We paid for some grazing platters and some wine / prosecco.

It ended up down to about 7 of us having a last drink and a really good chat with lots of laughter towards the end of the evening and that couple of hours is one of my fondest memories of the whole wedding.