AIBU to ask DHs family to take their shoes off?

[Toffifee1]

We‘re a shoes off house and my parents and my husbands parents had the same rule at home although adult visitors were usually not asked to take their shoes off when we grew up but they also didn‘t go upstairs.

Despite taking shoes off in her own home i have to ask my MIL to take her shoes off EVERY SINGLE TIME. I have explained that i have a crawling baby who’ll touch everything and put her fingers into her mouth and i‘m trying to teach my toddler not to run in with his shoes on..
MIL usually just sweeps in and i stop her in the living room or kitchen and ask her to take them off to which she replies „but they‘re clean“ (i haven‘t witnessed her ability to fly yet) and „I’ll get cold feet“ (we have floor heating and i then offer her warm socks).

My floors are also not disgusting in case anyone is wondering because i‘d understand wanting to keep shoes on if that were the reason.

Is it rude to ask other adults who do it in their own home to take their shoes off? AIBU? Any tipps?

Aaaah! Actually good for them!! (Not cruel!)

I put mine on when I get dressed and take them off when I go to bed. I might go barefoot when it’s really hot.

Get a pair of slippers personalised with "Grandma" (or however your kids address her) and they give it to her as a gift. Ditto FIL if relevant, and your parents.

Honestly don’t get how people wear shoes indoors, absolutely grim. Think of all the shit, piss, spit and general rubbish you’ve stepped in and now you’re bringing that in?

I'm a shoes off house. I don't want anyone tramping over my floors having perhaps unwittingly stepped in spit, pish or the remnants of a shite....fuck that!

But you're happy to offer someone socks?

Your house your rules.
we too have pale carpet and I really don't want to clean up muck/dirt from my carpets unnecessarily. I walk round my house barefoot or in slippers. I'd provide slippers at the door or tell her to bring her own with her. I'd tell her firmly every time.

We have lots of socialising at our home and only the occasional couple ignore 'shoes off' and I've been left with shoe polish from one guy's heels ground into my carpet and one other with muck/dog shit stepped across the floor. I resent cleaning up their unnecessary mess - both of these people have dogs and wood floors - I have neither, so it really is a mess to clear up.

Oh - as per previous poster - I had a bag of shoe covers one snowy winter and 'the usual suspects' had a problem wearing those too.

Do people dress up for socialising at your house?
If yes, shoes are part of an outfit.
If no then that's fine

I won't remove my shoes in anyone's house. I just leave if asked. I've planter fasciitis and not wearing shoes in painful.

I'm very happy to not visit people who prioritise their flooring over people.

We didn’t pick our carpets and they are too good to remove, we are mostly laminate downstairs though so if shoes are to stay on just don’t go upstairs or into the sitting room. Dining, kitchen and garden all fine. In fact we have some lovely garden furniture and two dining tables so plenty of seating away from the sofa. Unfortunately it’s the outhouse toilet though as stairs are carpeted. Off the kitchen, turn left, down the alleyway, third door on your right. It’s a proper toilet with electric for lights no heating tho 🥶

I’m shoes off in my house and I find it rally weird when people try and argue.

I’ve only had one person do this to be fair and her defence was “my trainers are new and clean” it was so bizarre.

She’s obviously touched the ground outside as well as the communal areas with her trainers. They are not fresh out the box.

I just said please take them off or wear shoe coverings. I’ve got a huge pack of shoe
coverings that I give to work men.

I read an interesting statistic, apparently 51% of UK households that are 35 and over are shoes off but it's 78% of the 18-34s. So it's definitely becoming more prevalant.

We have a shoes off in house rule because we live in an area where lead pollution has historically been a problem. Lead hangs around on outdoor surfaces for a surprisingly long time and build up of lead in the body causes serious health problems especially for children.

We always used to wear shoes in the house but it seems weird to me now to do so, and nobody whose house I have visited in recent years wears shoes in their house.

So yes I am comfortable asking people to remove shoes, and I would probably ask the king 🤣. I tend not to ask contractors though as if they are going in and out a lot to bring stuff in from their van it would clearly be a nuisance.

Well, I don't eat off my floors or lick them, so the hygiene aspect doesn't really bother me. Plus we have a dog and he doesn't wear shoes, lol.

I’m really surprised by these numbers. I only regularly visit one shoes off house.

Some friends do have shoes off in certain rooms but not a blanket ban.

Since discovering from Mumsnet that my friends, family and colleagues are so unusual I’ve been watching for it more and in films and on TV shoes on is the norm.

@BewaretheIckabog I wonder if it depends on where in the UK you are? It's relatively common in Scotland going by my personal experience, people here tend to be very house proud in general (don't please anyone shout at me, I'm not saying if you keep your shoes on you're not house proud).

I watched some series set in London where the guy made a big thing of the police having to take their shoes off when they came into his house, and the woman character was shown taking her shoes off before going into her flat. Think it was called The Victim. But that stuck in my mind because it was so unusual - I suppose it ruins the narrative flow a bit.
I also really notice that quite a lot a character is shown happily lying down on a bed with their shoes on, which gives me the horrors.

Well quite, I don't understand how pet owners are so worried about shoes off

Good for you but not everyone has pets so that point is invalid.
still absolutely vile to think what can come into the house and much, much easier to just take them off!

I am very house proud, but I can clean my floors after my visitors have left.

I have carpets that stain if you look at them wrong (poor choice for a living room in retrospect) so shoes off it is. I'm sure my guests have no wish to damage my home.

I plan to replace with wood next time so I can unclench a bit but until then am I heck having dirty shoes on a cream woolen carpet.