AIBU to ask DHs family to take their shoes off?

[Toffifee1]

We‘re a shoes off house and my parents and my husbands parents had the same rule at home although adult visitors were usually not asked to take their shoes off when we grew up but they also didn‘t go upstairs.

Despite taking shoes off in her own home i have to ask my MIL to take her shoes off EVERY SINGLE TIME. I have explained that i have a crawling baby who’ll touch everything and put her fingers into her mouth and i‘m trying to teach my toddler not to run in with his shoes on..
MIL usually just sweeps in and i stop her in the living room or kitchen and ask her to take them off to which she replies „but they‘re clean“ (i haven‘t witnessed her ability to fly yet) and „I’ll get cold feet“ (we have floor heating and i then offer her warm socks).

My floors are also not disgusting in case anyone is wondering because i‘d understand wanting to keep shoes on if that were the reason.

Is it rude to ask other adults who do it in their own home to take their shoes off? AIBU? Any tipps?

So far you‘re the only one and i was expecting more.

i also felt rude asking at first and tried hinting (telling my DC to take his shoes off inside infront of MIL) but it didn’t work..

Of course YANBU. Your home you can decide the rules. But even aside from that have never understood why people keep shoes on - so uncomfy whilst you're trying to relax and unhygienic bringing in goodness knows what from outside! 🤢 Plus makes a mess. As others have suggested if she really needs to have something on then have slippers that can be kept at yours for inside use only.

Your house, your rules. She is rude to argue about it.

Buy a pack of those blue elasticated plastic bags to put over shoes and make her put them on if she wants to keep her shoes on. Like this - https://www.amazon.co.uk/standard-disposable-overshoes-protectors-Caresupermarket/dp/B013TDUVYY/ref=asc_df_B013TDUVYY/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=344405143865&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=17227681490405866544&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9044976&hvtargid=pla-719821779753&psc=1&mcid=bfd67f7543ed38d0ac3ff80943533717

Have you actually tried this? The soles feel like cardboard to me which wouldn't survive a wash.

Should the cat wear slippers too?

I think asking visitors to take their shoes off in your house is always rude. The message is that your floor is more important than their comfort. I'll always do it if asked, but I will always inwardly be judging the people who ask.

It's always rude to ask people to take their shoes off. Would you ask the King if he came to visit? No, you wouldn't. So don't ask anyone else.
It's also very uncool to be so obsessed with "germs" etc!

As @PinkArt and @BeaRF75 have said, I also consider it rude to ask someone to take off their shoes in my house, for all the reasons they noted. However, if I go into a home that is clearly a "shoes off" home, I automatically take my shoes off, without being asked, as I don't want to cause offence. In your case, as your MIL has exactly the same rule in her house, you're perfectly within your rights to stop her at the door every single time and insist. As a general rule, I refuse manky slippers and old socks. I have no idea who has worn them before me, and what manner of foot rot and verrucas they had - I'd rather have cold feet, thank you!

I would not ask visitors to take their shoes off unless they were muddy. I've no problem with people walking on my floors and carpets. I would certainly find it a bit odd to be issued with socks or slippers at someone's front door. I think this all relates to the norm in your household when you were growing up. We were a 'shoes on' household.

I don't think I've ever asked people to take their shoes off in my house but I still want them to to do it! I'd say 90% of the people who come in offer to take their shoes off.
It may be rude to ask guests to take shoes but it's also rude not to offer. Many people don't like shoes on in the house for obvious reasons. In some cultures it's seen as both very disrespectful and also unhygienic to wear shoes inside.

Haha! I bloody would 😂
I love my new pale carpet!! 💁‍♀️

Would you ask the King if he came to visit? No, you wouldn't. So don't ask anyone else.

I would. He seems quite gracious and is used to dealing with a variety of cultures so I'm sure he'd be happy enough to oblige.

My Mother attended a convent grammar school in the 1960s where they had to change their outdoor shoes for indoor shoes. We were always a shoes off household and Mum wore slippers.

FIL leaves a pair of slippers here at our house and Aunts and Uncles bring theirs with them as they are here less often.

Any visitors here get told ahead of time that we are shoes off, work people usually bring their own shoe covers but I also have some disposable ones of those by the front door just in case.

And yes I would ask the bloody King to remove his shoes, he could bring his slippers if he liked.

I couldn't ask people to take their shoes off or issue them with slippers. Maybe they have raging athlete's foot or they are not nimble enough to balance on one foot in the hallway. Or maybe they are just being bloody minded. Whatever, the only polite thing to do is ignore.

I have one friend who disapproves of socks. If you forget to bring your own slippers you have to wear the communal ones. I don't want to wear communal slippers! I find it grim and very unwelcoming. I wonder if shoe wearers feel much the same about hosts who demand shoe removal.

Could you ask her what style of slippers she prefers? Let her know you want to buy her a nice pair for your house, or check the colour with her. Just gently take it from a confrontation, to you being considerate of her comfort.

I always ask people to take their shoes off unless I’m about to mop the floor because we live on a muddy yard. When you have a crawling baby it’s even more important!

And yet you expect other people to ?
I’d hate to wear slippers other people have worn ..
But then I never ask visitors to take their shoes off either

I’m also sitting in the garden in my bare feet and shall be walking back in soon 😱

I'm assuming that everyone who requests this has somewhere in the hallway/porch where people can sit down to take shoes off and put shoes on? Particularly with older guests, having to bend over and fumble with laces/zips can be quite tricky. I've got arthritic hands and visit one person who is very shoes-off - I usually plan my footwear choices in advance so that I'm not spending ages bent over trying to tie my laces at the end of the visit.

I think it's rude.
It's not posh at all to tele shoes off, quite the opposite.
Your baby won't be affected if granny walks in with shoes on, like millions of other babies who lived in shoes on houses before this fad took hold of us "carpets that can't be walked on" cream carpets matter more than your guests...

Buy flooring that can't take a heel...

The worst is when they have a terrace or garden and expect you to be off and on as you perhaps carry plates in and out.. Shoes off and on then off and on to pop back into the loo and off and on to help carry more stuff in and out.
Fucking ridiculous.

You need to expand your imagination. A substantial proportion of the population wear shoes indoors.

This topic makes people weirdly aggressive.

@LordPercyPercy

Because it's ridiculous. Have shoes off but don't ask guests too.
Having guests wear shoes won't ruin your life and poison everyone.