Salt burn makes me worry for poor kids at ‘posh’ unis.

[Pippetypoppity]

Im beginning to think certain Universities have much wealthier students on average and a kid from a poorer background would have a hard time perhaps ? Oliver in Saltburn was almost ostracised. Dc is looking at Exeter and Bath as favs. Not going to have any of the spending money, nice things from home the private school kids there will have I’m guessing. Will they have a hard time and be excluded in any way do you think. Horrible to think that as pretty shy and socially awkward anyway 🥹.

Contrary to legend, not all posh people are vile anyway.

That’s why you have a moat, darling… 😀

(This thread is making me wonder whether I shouldn’t see Saltburn, which sounds eminently daft…)

Yes there is that. But the problem is the drawbridge is so old and unreliable. Last time we pulled it up we couldn’t get it down again for three weeks.

I went to Oxford from a state school background, around the same time Saltburn was set. It was fine, didn't feel out of place at all.

Just watch it. Not with the kids or parents though..! 🫣

No. And have a stiff whisky before the grave scene.

I'm as common as muck and went to a "posh" university. There were some Hyacinth Bucket types who tried really hard to be posh, but everyone thought they were a joke. It never occurred to me that posh people were superior, and I got on well with everyone.

Exeter has a lot of privately educated students, a lot of Oxbridge/Imperial rejects go there. My friends DS is there and has a nickname realating to them being poor as they went to state school. It’s more of a joke though, as it is between friends. They are from a very middle class affluent area but don’t have the lavish lifestyle of some of their friends. For example, they have a p/t job whereas their friends are fully subsidised so wouldn’t dream of having a p/t job 🤷🏼‍♀️. I don’t think it’s a problem but it is true that there are a lot of privately educated students .

And actually if you think your jaw is going to hang open with drawl dripping off over Jacob Elordi maybe don’t watch it with DH/ partner either. He’s a little bit embarrassingly desirable even for undersexed ladies in their forties.

How lucky the household was able to live perfectly well off the contents of the game larder?

Lots of parents have to really tighten their belts to educate their kids privately. Being at a private school is really not necessarily an indicator that the kids have travelled or owned a pony.

Ah @Pippetypoppity , are you focusing on this because actually you're worried about dc going away to uni at all?

my uni when I went was 50% private school intake. I came from a very poor background and self financed (worked all the hours) but I never experienced any snobbery from anyone. Telling perhaps majority of my friends weren’t from private school so perhaps people naturally find similar tribes. I do have antidotes of posh students saying really daft things completely unaware of their privilege but they were the joke not the poor kids

Do you think Saltburn is a documentary?!

This.

You only really find out people's backgrounds if they invite you to stay during the holidays and they have a manor house or 2 up 2 down. I gravitated towards my kind of people and I'm still friends today because of who they are not where they came from. One of my friends had a really difficult upbringing and had some well thought through views as a result of that. I had not experienced anything like it but as I grow older and work with young people in those circumstances my views are growing ever similar to hers. She was 20 years ahead of me with a less privileged background. Shows you money can't buy empathy and compassion.

I think you are being a bit bonkers here OP. I haven’t watched Saltburn but Exeter is very different from Oxford (I have looked around both universities). There will be students from all backgrounds at all universities, and what bonds them is their love for the subject they’ve chosen not their class background. I had a very nice upbringing but my parents cut me off completely when I went to university so I could learn the value of money. I was far more skint than any of the “working class kids” because they got government grants whereas I didn’t! They could afford a drink in the pub whereas I couldn’t! DC will fit in just fine, students at 18 will make friendships based on who they are in halls with and who they can go for drinks with.

The really wealthy students at DS university are the overseas ones.

I was a working class kid at a posh university. Unsurprisingly I wasn't the only one and I found my gang. Happened to be a nice mix and we all rubbed along well together.

Best to choose a university based on the course, extra-curricluar opportunities, and geographical area rather than whether you consider it to be "posh". Your DC will find their friends based on personality and interests, not on wealth. DD was at Cambridge after state school education. Her experience was definitely eye-opening in terms of observing the priviledge of some students, but made plenty of lovely and like-minded friends from a variety of backgrounds. On any rare occasion where she may have felt felt ostracised/excluded, it was nbd as she knew they were tw*ts!!

My son went to state schools and is at Bath Uni. His best mate there is ‘posh’ - has money and went to private school. It’s great that they can mix with people from different backgrounds and learn to get along with anybody (works both ways). I wouldn’t be concerned.

Saltburn is fiction.

Hmmm, 🤔.

Oliver was ostracised because he was giving off psychopath energy. And he did find a posh friend who liked him precisely because he thought he was poor. And turns out the ostracisers were right all along. Because it didn't end up so well for the poshos.

Really interesting posts everyone. Thank you. Certainly made me think. Yes I absolutely mustn’t hold them back because of my own insecurities!

I both attended Exeter uni as a ‘working class’ undergraduate and worked there for over a decade as an academic. I loved it - yes, you get posh twats being posh twats but there are other benefits, and not all posh kids are awful. Many are now my lifelong friends. Beautiful campus, safe city, some
of the best humanities teaching in the country (despite governments best efforts to destroy our humanities subjects) and lots of opportunities.