Salt burn makes me worry for poor kids at ‘posh’ unis.

[Pippetypoppity]

Im beginning to think certain Universities have much wealthier students on average and a kid from a poorer background would have a hard time perhaps ? Oliver in Saltburn was almost ostracised. Dc is looking at Exeter and Bath as favs. Not going to have any of the spending money, nice things from home the private school kids there will have I’m guessing. Will they have a hard time and be excluded in any way do you think. Horrible to think that as pretty shy and socially awkward anyway 🥹.

I was a state school kid at what's probably the poshest college in cambridge in the 90s.

Honestly it was fine. There were plenty of other state school kids.

Many of the private school kids were hard working middle class types.

There were people from Eton, Westminster and other smart schools. The ones I knew were nnainly doing Engish writing plays and smoking a lot of good stuff. Not hooray Henry's at all.

There was something called the Pitt Club which was the cambridge equivalent of the Bullingdon Club. But out of 9000 undergraduates, the percentage who wanted to join that was infinitesimally small.

There was also the Cambridge Union which could be a bit rah and a fave haunt for the Cambridge University Conservative Association. Good speakers and debates though and only a tiny percentage of people were involved in a big way.

Your average cambridge kid is a state of private school kid who is bright, and works hard, and likes going out with their friends, and is overall very normal.

Saltburn is fiction OP....

YABU. DH went to Oxford from a very poor town, mediocre state school and working class parents.

He fitted in fine, joined the Labour Club and made lots of great pals. He’s got a top career in one of the established professions and has friends from ever walk of life.

There’s plenty of normal kids at all the top unis.

My DS is in his 1st year at Bath, it really isn't "posh" and is a complete mix of backgrounds.
We are pretty middle class with decent income but somewhere like Durham would have concerned me more.

I probably can’t blame the yahs for that, given the attitudes towards them written on this thread.

when I went to uni in the 90s, nobody gave a shit who went to what kind of school. We had people from Eton, people from poorly performing comps and everything in between. I actually remember one person obsessing about what kind of school people had attended and taunting them about it - and he was a fucking nasty bully.

Peterhouse?

I think Oliver's problem (if we are bringing it back to Saltburn) is that he was too ordinary. He despised his very average stable background- not rich enough, or poor enough, to be remarkable. He had no 'story'. He had a loving family, comfortable home, foreign holidays ... how very basic.

I mean, Felix was intoxicating by anyone's standards. Who wouldn't want to be in his orbit (Elordi-lordy!) So actually, those around him were scrapping for a piece of him - Farley got by on the 'diversity' card (and his mother's goodtime reputation) - until he was reminded that he was an imposter.

The girls got an 'in' by being available to sleep with Felix whenever he wanted...so really, no one was winning, everyone was selling themselves up the river to some extent (even Felix, who symbolically, ended up in the actual river).

This post makes a really good point that also gets lost in discussion of this movie.

Oliver claimed he had a very impoverished, dysfunctional background, but he didn’t.

He wasn’t a landed toff, no. But there are many shades of existence between impoverished and dysfunctional and living in a stately home.

On another thread someone stated that a Felix was astonished on arriving at Oliver’s home because of its lowliness. I didn’t take it that way at all: if Felix looked astonished it was because the homely house was the first gentle unveiling in his mind that Oliver was dishonest. The house wasn’t what Felix was used to, but even he could see it was the house of home-makers who cared and could afford to parent Oliver appropriately. The meeting with the parents confirmed this and unveiled further lies. That scene was not a snobbish scene: it was the scene in which Felix began to realise he was dealing with someone unusual - and not in a socio-economic sense.

^ yes, exactly. Felix was astonished because Oliver had sold him a total lie. He thought Oliver's house was really nice and his parents were decent and as far from the deadbeat drug addicts Oliver had sold them as.

This was also at the point that Felix should have ditched Oliver then and there, but he knew his mum had planned the big party (and probs recognised his mum needed a summer project) so he kept up appearances by taking him back for one last time. And he had this innate sense of 'decency' or 'politeness' that was hardwired into his aristocratic code. Plus Oliver was nothing to him now so he had that teflon-coated arrogance that comes with privilege, that meant it didn't matter what he did with Oliver because he was soon to be an irrelevance in his life.....

The whole point was that Felix would never have looked at Oliver in the first place if he had been just a 'regular' guy. It was the poor angle that got him hooked. The more tragic Oliver made his story, the more Felix was interested. That's why Oliver despised him, because he knew he was just a 'pet' or novelty for the poshos. He would always be an imposter. (I mean that - and he was also a total psychopathic nutjob.)

So the Saltburn manifesto on University survival is...... it is those 'middle' guys with a huge chip on their shoulder - neither rich enough not to care, nor poor enough to be fiercely proud of where they have come from, that you have to watch out for.....👀

I actually think it is psychos generally you need to watch out for: rich or even titled psychos, middle class “middle child syndrome“ psychos and impoverished, difficult upbringing psychos. I don’t think there is a social class that is inherently problematic or free from problems.

Dd is at a "posh" University. We are fairly middle class I guess, but she was nicknamed "the povvo " (poor person) and assumed to be on benefits! She did find it quite hard to fit in, but she eventually found her people and now enjoys it. It has opened her eyes, however, to a different world!!

where did you go to university OP?

Kesio · Yesterday 23:19
tiagra · Yesterday 18:32

Family member went to St Andrews. He said the yahs kept to themselves, you were never part of their group.
I probably can’t blame the yahs for that, given the attitudes towards them written on this thread

Indeed. Tiagra, if you’re happy referring to people as ‘yahs’, presumably you’re happy to refer to people as ‘oiks’?

Swansea. Fabulous in the summer. Beach literally beside campus. Extraordinarily ordinary in all other regards - including students.

There are no means-tested bursaries at Swansea, putting the university among a very small group of universities which elect not to support students in this way.

interesting

People decide to bully for many reasons OP - I know a girl who got very badly picked on for having been to one of the “big name” schools by people in her halls from more ordinary backgrounds. Bullies will bully wherever they find difference - your DS shouldn’t curtail his choices because of that.

This makes my point much better than I did!

Nchanged

my son is about to finish first year at Exeter doing physics so I will tell you his experience

in his halls he was the only state school student. He was the only one doing a science degree

they do way more things than him but in reality his course is full on and he doesn’t have time

they drink a lot more and seem quite laidback, possible because not meal planning and worrying about money

when you join your societies you meet a wide range of people and more likely to make your friends on course/societies

you own a farm Op
You’re hardly living on a deprived council estate

What on earth is a 'middle-class, middle child psycho'? Have you just invented this category or are middl-class middle children proven to have a greater tendency towards psychopathy than first or last sibling?

Farmers are not all rich! I live in a farming community and there are plenty of people struggling, especially with recent price increases for agricultural inputs.

agreed

But come on…

No they aren’t categories! Sorry, this was following on from sonme discussion upthread and I was only meaning psychos can pop up in any class. The middle child syndrome just meant they don’t fit as rich or poor just as middle child doesn’t sit as youngest or oldest. But my point really was problems like Saltburn are caused by rare personality disorders that I don’t think link to class particularly. So in short, in answer to your question, no they don’t have a greater tendency. I don’t think any “category” of person does.

There’s also a huge range in private schools. People hear private school and think Eton/Harrow/boarding school etc but they’re really not all like that.

I was privately educated but from a ‘normal’ background (certainly no stately home). My parents had average jobs (mum worked in a school supporting a child with SEN, dad worked as a factory inspector, grandparents chipped in with fees etc), for holidays we mostly visited an aunty who lived by the seaside with maybe a trip to a villa in Portugal every other year or two depending on how work was for my dad. I’m not denying that I was privileged to go to my school but it was nothing like the grand public schools that a character like Felix would have gone to. There were some there with more money but most families seemed to have standard (admittedly middle class) jobs and lifestyles. I’d certainly done normal things like go to a supermarket, chores around the house, Saturday jobs etc that people have accused privately educated people of never having done before university on this thread - though admittedly I’d gone back into the state system for a levels so not sure which stereotype box I fit into/not sure I’d have counted as a private school pupil for uni admissions even though it had been the bulk of my education. If anything (and still using Saltburn as an example) Oliver’s home looked way posher than mine!

Again, not denying I’ve been lucky enough to have the upbringing I’ve had but the stereotype that private school = Boris Johnson types isn’t necessarily true (even if it is for a few) and if it’s putting people off applying for university etc as they’re intimidated by the thought of socialising with the stereotype then it’s harmful and needs to be addressed.

This is very true as many families choose private education over expensive cars or holidays etc and really struggle with the fees.