Salt burn makes me worry for poor kids at ‘posh’ unis.

[Pippetypoppity]

Im beginning to think certain Universities have much wealthier students on average and a kid from a poorer background would have a hard time perhaps ? Oliver in Saltburn was almost ostracised. Dc is looking at Exeter and Bath as favs. Not going to have any of the spending money, nice things from home the private school kids there will have I’m guessing. Will they have a hard time and be excluded in any way do you think. Horrible to think that as pretty shy and socially awkward anyway 🥹.

Thing is, there are plenty of people on MN who don't want their kids going to state secondary because they think they'll be 'eaten alive' to coin a popular phrase on here, so this thread is interesting.

There are also people on mn who are worried about their children going to certain universities in case they catch ‘posh’.

I went to one of the universities perceived as "very posh" . Most of my friends were from incredibly normal backgrounds. I had a few posh but decent friends and just ignored the idiotic factions.

However there were definitely some "social climby" types who immediately tried to fit in with the very posh cliques (having seemed very unposh in Freshers week...) and I think some of them had a pretty tough time.

There are decent people and there are twats in every walk of life and at every university.

I think some of the ones in my tutor group with plummy voices and pashminas looked down on me for the first few weeks, but once we got our first essays back they saw me in a new light 😉

I don’t think Exeter is a an Oxbridge reject university, how can it be with often AAA needed for many of their subjects. People are referring to an Exeter of the past, my son is thinking of going there and I was surprised about the grades as when I attended university (graduated in 2000), Exeter was more a mediocre uni.

like a previous poster mentioned some of the wealthiest students are the international students.

That should read A*x3

My kid went to a posh private school (scholarship) then, on his own merits, went to a top university and stayed in halls (again, scholarships). He supported himself throughout uni. He was surrounded by arrogant, wealthy young people, but also by those who had worked hard to be there like he had - some wealthy, some not. He ended up President of his college, as voted by his peers. I do think attitude has a great deal to do with overall university experience.

Yes exactly. Like the rest of life in any workplace or other situations there are people from all backgrounds who get along.

I don’t know anything about Exeter but it’s pretty common for Oxbridge rejects to get 3 A stars. Most don’t miss out on a place because they miss a grade.

I grew up on a rough council estate and went to Oxford in early 90s. The Saltburn types were there but were the exception. Most students were just normal teenagers

Yes you are right, I wasn’t thinking of offers, got muddled up.

A few take homes from all this:

1. There will be all sorts there
2. A very few ‘Posh’ kids might be cliquey but just ignore
3. Be yourself, get out there and you’ll find your own people
4. Most ‘wealthy’ kids are actually very down to earth and perfectly nice. Plus knowing them broadens the mind and gives the chance of new experiences and insights
5. If it all goes horribly wrong they can always just leave (or bump them off, dance around their stately home, get fully clothed again and invite their overly worried old mum to enjoy all that wealth with them )

Win win then ! 🤣. I shall encourage my Dc in all their future Uni choices.

I was going to say that whilst Saltburn is funny in an uncomfortable way it is also quite inaccurate. Most very posh kids in the 90s would travel widely in the summer holidays to places like Thailand, Australia, Peru and would not stay home the whole summer holidays. That would have been a thing many years earlier but not in the 90s. Truly rich and posh kids tend to have a ton of travelling opportunities at a young age and tend to realise very early on that there is always going to be someone richer than them around anyway because they move in those kinds of circles.

Sorry wrong thread!

Oh and that if s/he’s not a psychopath with a fiendish plan at the outset they’ll probably do ok for friends- of all sorts. Particularly as Exeter and Bath are not as elite as Oxbridge or Durham. Rather a sweet unassuming, kindly teen to be fair. So all bodes well. Thank you to all for the reassurance. Very good to hear it.

I used to work in a Russell Group uni and agree that some courses there might be more loaded towards public schools than others. I don't think this is true of all unis or all courses by any means.
But there are SO many students in all universities that she is bound to find her group of friends.
I'm pretty old now and still have friends from that time, from all walks of life.

Durham?

I went to Bath. I'm from a working class background and also northern. Went to a pretty bog standard comp but obviously got good results. I had a job both at home and at uni so I had some spending money. I made friends with people frpm all sorts of backgrounds including those from very wealthy families who went to public school and others from working class backgrounds from schools like mine. The best thing was when they (the posher ones) were all shocked at my a-level results and degree compared to theirs! It honestly made no difference we were all 18 year old living away from home having a great time.

I will just add that Bath is bloody expensive to live in though the rent was extortionate when I was there many moons ago so I dread to think what it is like now. And if the degree is full on and demanding then a job is hard to hold down too (I was fine as I'd always worked long hours so I could juggle degree work and paid work)

Your normal is your normal. I went to Oxford from a bog standard secondary school and sixth form college. I had knowledge and skills people from independent schools didn't have and no particular interest in skiing or similar activities. So far from thinking I'd missed out, I considered they'd missed out by being over protected from any responsibility.

Try not to worry, she will meet her tribe! I was a single Mum, on tax credits when my daughter went to Durham. She met the most wonderful support friends, many from independent schools, not her! She was invited on a lot of holidays on her last year! She was her lovely self and humans are always attracted to genuine souls. She turned down a place at Cambridge as she felt uncomfortable in the interview like she was being told how lucky she was just to attend. When it was her own hard work. My Mum wasn’t too thrilled! Plus this generation are pretty amazing in their outlook I think. The very best of luck to you all!

My son is at Exeter..from a middle class family. Yes there are lots of privileged kids there, but that’s true all over the country. He takes it all in his stride. I think university is expensive and increasingly inaccessible for people on low incomes, if not almost impossible. Saltburn is fiction, as other posters have said..he is also a murderer🤣the guy, not my son!!

My friends daughter went to a state school and went to Bath, she had a great time.

Are you really claiming that independent school students are over-protected and never had any responsibility? It was probably meant to sound worldly but it just sounds like you don’t have much idea about people’s lives other than your own. I’m wondering what “knowledge and skills” you had that most teenagers don’t?

It’s interesting the kind of sweeping statements posters think are perfectly acceptable, that the other way round would sound totally Saltburn.

I haven't heard of Saltburn but I went to a redbrick uni, first in my family and was delighted with the amazingly diverse collection of people there. So many interesting conversations and different experiences!
I think it's eye opening for so many kids from all walks of life.
Don't worry, op, it's a wonderful opportunity for your DC.

I used to work at Bath Uni ( some time ago) and one of the things I will say about Bath itself is there’s plenty of casual work in bars and shops and restaurants. I, retired now, but still go into Bath and it seems the same. My daughter went to Oxford Brookes and there’s plenty of student work there too. The opportunity to earn can make a big difference to students.

OP have you posted before on here about your dc being worried about going to university in case they meet ‘posh’ people?
Your op sounds very similar to one a few months ago.

I often think that.

It’s sort of why I posted above about being worried my posh kid would be manipulated into their grave by a state school kid who danced then through my house. It sounds absurd to take Saltburn literally put that way round ( admittedly the plot loaded the absurdity more heavily on that side of the equation). But there is so much prejudice that slips through because it is served with a side-dish of envy and no-one bats an eyelid.