Will I throw this one back ... social media activity

[gona]

I'm chatting to a man on WhatsApp. Busy schedules have not all owed us to meet for the last couple of weeks but we have plans for next week to meet up.
Before I meet any date I do my best to find out as much about
then as I can via people and sm.

He is as true as his word regarding his plans and commitments and I can see this via social media.

I have been catfished once and if I had done my research on others I would have saved my self a lot of stress. This is why I do this.

This man has given me no reason to believe he isn't who he says he s but I had a look on his socials.

They are chock full of sports, footie, current affairs reposts. Nothing sinister but there are, out of hundreds of likes, a couple of posts/ photos of curvy women. Nothing very revealing or sexual, just women with large breasts. Possibly three likes photos out of hundreds.
Is this a red flag ? Would you throw him back?
I'm
Out of this scene for a very long time so appreciate your views. Thanks.

Also sorry but we’re talking about him viewing woman as objects but here you are using the words ‘throw this one back.’ Imagine a man saying that about a woman, you’d all for sure have your knickers in a twist about that. But hey, men are the enemy right MN? 😂

Here's where you might be being less than cautious - you have absolutely no knowledge of whether his reasons are genuine other than what he has told you.

If you've been catfished before please don't believe everything you're told without question.

Sorry you’re getting such a hard time here op. Having been round the dating app circuit too many times with far far too many people who were not who they seemed, I think looking up their socials before meeting is perfectly reasonable.

I don’t think liking a couple of pics of women he finds attractive is a red flag, I do think you are being a bit overly cautious to think it is… but that’s why you came here to test the water.

I hope your date goes well x

EDIT: Date not fate 🙈

It's true we don't know the context. But it wouldn't match my values so I'd throw him back personally. This has obviously caused a gut reaction for op so it would suggests it doesn't meet her values too.

The context does indeed matter. If they are completely random women he doesn't know. The only thing he is 'liking' are their physicality. He knows nothing else about them. The same in which he might like a car or watch it's purely visual. Why like them? Why not appreciate they are attractive without liking them? Scroll past. Has he even given it much thought or is that kind of behavior automatic to him?

If he knows them then yes it may be different intentions. Perhaps there was comments too of supporting his female friends/relatives. Who knows. It certainly didn't give op that impression.

There's enough people in the world that we can find someone who shares our values or stay happily single.

I put porn in the same category as abusing drugs and alcohol for how damaging it is. So that would be a hard no for me. We are all different but it doesn't need to be a joke/shocking for someone else's values to be different to yours.

Are you sure they aren't "friends" OP (as in with benefits)? My ex used to only like bikini shots of his emotional affair - any flash of tit from her and it'd be a big fat like and they'd exchange some 'winky' messages grim They had a lovely holiday together after we split...

I think this is hugely common on social media. Exes of mine turn up booty calling regularly throughout the year grim and I'd be wary of that too.

Men are visual beings, and of course us girls appreciate a good looking man too.

I can see why this would look like a red flag as he's liking it to let the girl know he likes it. Let's be honest here lol.

But he's single, and for me I would give him a chance. If you get into a relationship and he's liking girls pics all the time then that would put me off. He can look all he wants as humans we do but I wouldn't feel secure and that's just me being honest.

I say single as you said you are dating so if I got that wrong then excuse me for saying that lol

Sounds like the chap has dodged a bullet!

I am very pro-women and I tend to ‘like’ many women’s photos on Instagram, especially if they are beautiful or curvy.

I am not a perv or lesbian.

Even if you get married, he is still going to find other women attractive and still like their photos.

You do seem to have stalked him a bit too much (a bit is fine to make sure he’s not married etc but this is a bit extreme), which is a red flag in itself.

But he’s not giving off any red flags from what you’ve said.

Who exactly are the three pictures of? Marilyn Monroe on a retro fan account? Friends posting ‘going out’ selfies? Salma Hayek at the Oscars on the Mail Online account? You say they aren’t porn so what are they? I think I’ve probably liked pix of eg a young Paul Newman but don’t think that makes me a sex pest

@Choochoo21

I am very pro-women

what does that even mean?!

@MightyGoldBear
I do get what you are saying to a certain degree, but in this day and age virtually everything now is visual. We get everything 'perfect' rammed down our throats on SM, Love Island and all that BS. But why should a man be vilified something chronic for 'liking' a couple of posts of a random, or someone he may know, which has clearly become more than what it should? It does NOT make him a mysonogistic pig or a pervert in any way!!
From what you have said, Slash (Guns N'Roses guitarist) could have me down as a mad, psycho stalker for the pics I have perved over of him all over the Internet.
And actually porn can be a part of a very healthy relationship if both parties are happy with it 🤷‍♀️
Fiona would have nothing on me!!
Sent from an I-phone

It must be twitter/X

edit: I’m sorry. I’m so late to the party on this.

Understand you want to be careful as been hurt before, but would suggest it's kind of weird reviewing 100's of his posts.

Men are different when it comes to visual sexual stimuli, if just the odd like I wouldn't see this as a red flag, if in all other conversations he comes across normal.

Yep!

This is giving you a false sense of security, having spent over 30 years in IT, including cyber, the absolute worst kind of men have no (or fake) digital footprint, and rather keep everything very secretive and secure.

If his entire feed was likes about women I would suggest it's a red flag, if all the other interactions with him have been good, I wouldn't discount on this alone.

Agree that you sound like the red flag.🚩

good point

Why do people even have their SM set to Public and not Private/Friends only these days? If someone did a search on my SM, they'd only see my profile pics!

so at some point in his SM history he’s hit like on a couple pictures of women… and you’re making this out to be some kind of big deal having no idea who these women are!? Let me tell u a little story about making assumptions based on what u see on social media. My brother once had an interest in a woman he worked with and asked her out and got rejected which confused him as they got along well and she seemed interested in him. But he took the hint, moved on, and met another woman who is now his wife. When he first got together with the woman who is now his wife, the other woman reached out to her and asked her how she could possibly date someone with a child and didn’t it bother her? My brother didn’t have a child; the woman had been on his social media, seen photos of my brother with his niece and made an assumption that it was his daughter and that’s why she turned him down. She was actually interested and missed out because she made assumptions without knowing facts based on photos she saw on social media.

It doesn't sound like a red flag to me.

It seems your brother really dodged a bullet. Who on earth does she think she is messaging his partner and questioning their relationship?

this post demonstrates nothing other than this woman was utterly unhinged to message a woman she doesn’t know to judge her for dating a man with a child

Social media and "visual stimulation" is only rammed down us if we are actively participating in it. In my eyes this anonymous man isn't vilified its his right to live however he wants to. But op is too and to set her values accordingly. If she wants someone that's not overly active on social media doesn't appreciate finding purely images attractive or that kind of scrolling instant gratification behaviour attractive she's well within her rights to say he isn't for her.

I would already know he wouldn't be for me with the football and drinking let alone the liking womens photos. It would be on me if I choose to investigate further or lose out on the potential partner. As women we don't owe men the benefit of the doubt. We also don't have to lower our values in a partner because lots of people engage in a behaviour, we don't value.

Being able to engage in porn in a relationship or solo to a 'healthy' degree or with no negative consequences isn't the same as porn being healthy.
The same as drugs and alcohol are toxins to our bodies but plenty can engage without major negative consequences. They still aren't healthy for us.

Ethically alone I'd ask why would you want to. Let alone the changes to your neural pathways.

I think someone needs to warn HIM about you!