Will I throw this one back ... social media activity

[gona]

I'm chatting to a man on WhatsApp. Busy schedules have not all owed us to meet for the last couple of weeks but we have plans for next week to meet up.
Before I meet any date I do my best to find out as much about
then as I can via people and sm.

He is as true as his word regarding his plans and commitments and I can see this via social media.

I have been catfished once and if I had done my research on others I would have saved my self a lot of stress. This is why I do this.

This man has given me no reason to believe he isn't who he says he s but I had a look on his socials.

They are chock full of sports, footie, current affairs reposts. Nothing sinister but there are, out of hundreds of likes, a couple of posts/ photos of curvy women. Nothing very revealing or sexual, just women with large breasts. Possibly three likes photos out of hundreds.
Is this a red flag ? Would you throw him back?
I'm
Out of this scene for a very long time so appreciate your views. Thanks.

That's my view of it too - I'd have thought fairly common in real life, but we seem to be in the minority here - posters either condemn looking near an image of a woman full stop, or they're apparently totally okay with the oversharing.

It wasn’t porn though, it was 3 likes out of hundreds. Hardly a habit.

He 'liked' a couple of pictures of fully clothed attractive women, out of hundreds and hundreds? I really can't see the issue here at all.

I've definitely hit 'Like' on more than a few pictures of male actors/musicians/sportsmen that I fancy!

I've also Liked pictures of my male friends - not because I fancy them, but just because I'm pleased see my friends' faces (male and female) in my feed. And I compliment my friends if I think they look good. A male friend of mine has lost five stone recently and posted an 'after' picture of himself with no shirt on, and I clicked 'Like' on that and told him he was looking great. My own partner clicks Like on pictures of my friends too.

I don't know how I would feel about this. Would it make a difference if they were celebrities? Maybe one positive to think is that he's clearly not shy about sharing what he likes, and what he likes seems pretty tame.

Not their cleavage.. 😂

It's not porn, though. They're just fully clothed pictures of women who are pretty. And he's only 'liked' three of them out of hundreds of other likes.

CLEAVAGE PROMINENT??? Heaven forfend. Pass the smelling salts.

It would put me off as its unnecessary to interact with the post. A big personal turnoff.

Millions of men out there to choose from, you dint need to justify a choice.

@gona I think you are dead right to do it. My now ex came out to be as shady as fuck after years and it was all on his socials had I known about them. I see no harm in what you are doing. If people do not want to be checked out then they do not publicly put things online.

Yes. If a man's words or behaviours give you qualms or make you feel uncomfortable to any degree, you're as well to listen to your feelings and not bother with him again. Never mind what other people think; if it bother's you it's a red flag for you and that's what matters. Listen to your intuition!

Actually I think he should throw you back.

It’s one thing to go and look at someone’s social media to see if they’re legit and who they say they are or if they have any dodgy habits or interests.

It’s quite another to trawl through hundreds and hundreds of their posts on numerous social media sites, down to knowing when they’ve “liked” someone’s post. Have you trawled through all the people they follow too to see if they’ve liked their posts, because that’s the only way you could have known that they’d like a post.

That’s really not healthy, and I would suggest that you’re not ready for a relationship by any means.

red flag, it's skeevy

No.

If there's any red flags here, it's your behaviour which is far too stalkery.

😂😂

Couldn't disagree more...

Anyone with a public social media account clearly doesnt care about personal privacy.

I actually think it's really important to get an idea of what the potential date is about or stands for.

It has served me well in the past.

I urge all people to do that esp women I love and care for .

"It has served me well in the past."

How do you know it has? You're single.

You can't know how relationships would have developed if you've rejected men for perceived problems with what they've liked on social media.

But that's not what you're doing. You'd have had a good feel of who he is from his own posts and thoughts on current affairs and so on. There's no mention of what they tell you, yet you're fixating on him liking 3 non sexual photographs of women. That isn't normal behaviour, especially considering you haven't even met him so he's nothing to you.

Wtf?! He’s a man. He’s single. He’s liked a pic of a woman! What’s the issue?!

Well I know I don't want anything to do with republicans , IRA sympathisers, Ukrainian bashing BUMS , social welfare fraudsters, Garda haters, conspiracy theorists .
They show themselves quickly, normally in their first five posts .

I really fear for the future of the human race .
All this cyberstalking ,reading SM ,trying to figure out what it may or may not mean ,to sniff out /avoid imagined red flags !
No one will ever get together -the end 😂

So you found none of those things and then decided to do a deep dive...

I think you need to be upfront with any men you do this to. It would be a humongous red flag for me and suggests a personality type and behaviour that I would run a mile from.

No... I swiped through his and others pages . No big deep dive !

You are getting a hard time on here, OP, but, if I were dating, I would also check the social media of prospective dates. It's just the smart thing to do nowadays.

However, I don't think a single man liking a few photos of busty women is a red flag.

@LifeExperience thanks. I really don't mind about getting a hard time here . I knew what to expect from some on AIBU.
Most have been helpful and actually answered what I asked .
Others have been clearly unsettled and feel that it presents like it's some sort of intrusion on a persons private life .

I make no apologies for doing some research before I meet someone so I'm not wasting my time.

I can't see the argument if they've a public account .

In fact, It could be argued that said people want others to see their posts......

i think it’s fine to have a Quick Look. I’m not sure it’s so fine that you forensically investigate it, find three pics of women within hundreds of likes that are of fully dressed women with huge followings, not porn stars or glamour models and take issue as you could see a bit of cleavage.

i cannot see how you’re compatable. You need to find a man who has never liked a pic of a woman where you can see a bit of cleavage.