to turn supermarket delivery away when they ring on my door bell two hours early?

[BasilParsley]

Sort(ish) question: If the supermarket delivery driver turns up at 9am rather than 11am because he's delivering across the road anyway (with no phone call to ask if I could accept an early delivery which is usual) would I be unreasonable to tell him to go away and come back later?

(Long background) It's played on my mind all week so could do with some advice please.

There is a v. small care home opposite my house that also gets the same supermarket to deliver, generally on the same day, but at different times (sometimes around the same time, sometimes earlier, sometimes later).

The reason I order a slot later in the morning is that I have a reasonably severe disability that means it takes me a while to get going in the morning e.g. the ablutions and the getting dressed, breakfasting etc.

Due to the fact that my disability makes me more prone to infections like covid and it takes a lot longer for me put stuff away , I always ask the driver to unload the crates into bags I supply in my porch. I then take my time, decanting those bags into the kitchen cupboards/fridge/freezer etc.

Driver last week clearly had a 9am-ish delivery at the home across the road so rang on my doorbell around that time. I was still in my dressing gown (and wrapped in a towel underneath because I was drip-drying having not long got out of the bath).

I told him he was too early but maybe he could give me five minutes to get dressed then I can accept the delivery. He said yes I'm early, but I've just delivered over the road so if you get your bags, I'll put your order in them and put them in the porch so I won't need to come back.

I felt so coerced (and still bleary-eyed and getting to grips with the day), I went and hid in my skanky dressing gown in the living room for a bit until I heard him call from the porch that it was all done. Got to the porch and the outer porch door is wide open and the bags are all preventing it from being closed.

So I had to deal with it then and there until I was able to close the outer door which left me in a bit of a state for while.

What would you have done?

Your home, so your choice to answer or not answer the door. Also your choice to accept or decline the delivery in this particular instance. I guess depending on how you are feeling and what suits you, your answer to this dilemma might be different on different days. However, it is all your choice - there should be no feeling of obligation here. You are paying for a specific service and if that is what you want to stick to, then that is absolutely fine.

Try living with a disability. Until then you don’t know what hard work is.

I think it doesn't matter what the reason is. We should still expect the standard of service and arrangements that the company sets out.

Do you not understand my post? I was wondering why just getting out of the bath dripping wet or having a disability stopped her from just not answering the door.
They are good reasons to not answer the door to the delivery driver. So why answer? Or why not ask him to leave and come back when she was ready. I get why having a disability means she wants her shopping delivered at a certain time - that’s not unreasonable at all. I also get why the driver tried to deliver it early - also not unreasonable. But I don’t get why she didn’t either ignore the door or tell him to go away and come back later?!

That attitude is fine, until you want the delivery company to show you some flexibility. Maybe something comes up and you need a delivery to be pushed back, or have a broken arm and want the driver to help you in with something, or leave your delivery with your son/daughter who is 17 and not able to accept alcohol? These circumstances for OP meant that accepting the delivery earlier than planned messed up her routine that is crucial to her wellbeing, but hopefully people that are awkward for the sake of a momentary minor inconvenience are on receiving end of a lifetime of jobsworth-ery and are held strictly to T&Cs.

I was going to say the same, @PyongyangKipperbang - I think a Ring doorbell would be a godsend for @BasilParsley.

Thank you all for your responses - particularly those who understand the position I am in. I will add a note about excessively early deliveries to my next order.

To answer a couple of questions, I pay for the delivery saver package so I can order any available 1 hour slot for £6.99 per month.

It's just this particular driver that seems to troublesome - all the others are lovely and will phone if they are early. The earliest I've had previously in the four years or so I've been using the service is 45 minutes but, there was a phone call asking if it was OK. And it was, because by that time I had dressed, breakfasted and my morning meds had kicked in so I was able to accommodate the driver.

Today's order arrived about 10.45 with no phone call but that's fine because it's within the 30 minutes window Tesco mentions.

Ring doorbell or equivalent with camera
i live on my own and retired- I choose who I’ll open door to. If I’m in towel, not presentable or not expecting and inconvenient time I’ll speak to them and say I’m out, or not respond at all
ive been known to not answer even to my closest friends because, sometimes, I just want to be undisturbed 🤷🏼‍♀️🤣

Because they are supposed to call first to check - not just try their luck

I seem to be in the minority, I would have accepted it.

I would have let them in. I frequently answer the door, take supermarket and other deliveries in my dressing gown.

When you are disabled it can take so much longer to get going in the morning.
I am currently unable to move unaided and feel very vulnerable. I wouldn't want to interact with anyone in my bathrobe. I would feel vulnerable to an attack.
I had a DPD driver hammer my door on Monday, shout up at my window and stand outside shouting waiting, waiting. He didn't use the bell or knocker, my door was hammered on with huge force. He's done it before and there's a ruddy great sticker saying disabled person lives here. I'm still livid. I told him to come back or leave the parcel. He just ignored me. Eventually my wfh DD put down her call and took the parcel in. His arrogance was disgusting. I use ocado and morrisons. Both on time and excellent.

No she doesn’t. If you are struggling to move and breathe and a service you pay for comes when you can cope with it that’s awful customer service. You on the other hand…..

It's certainly an invasion of privacy for OP to record all of her neighbours comings and goings and all of their guests. I wouldn't like it. It's possibly illegal too. CCTV is only meant to cover your own property. A shared front door is not her own property.

They always call if they are going to be early here. If I'm home I accept the delivery only once have I said no as I was out walking the dog so the driver waited until I got back (still before delivery was due) If possible I would accept largely because a bit of goodwill goes a long way in my experience.

yup and the flexibility I would like (and have received) has been about moving my delivery within my delivery slot. In that circumstance, they also kindly offered to return at some point later so long as they were still in the area. Ocado drivers alway offer to carry items in for me, even saying its okay to put them in more than one place (my freezer is in the garage) and that is part of their T and C's I wouldn't ask them to leave alcohol with a minor and would not be at all surprised to have that request refused. What I don't expect is stuff dumped on the doorstep if delivered early, rudeness, drivers expecting to be able to deliver early without asking and similar poor service. I have to say I have never exoerienced any of those things from the people I get deliveries from.

Used to drive me mad when the kids were small. I deliberately ordered food for after they were in bed. When they turned up early it was invariably during bath time.

You’ve booked the slot for when it is convenient for you. YANBU but just don’t answer the door next time.

Can't say much fairer than that.

Stay in the bath and don't answer the door. If you've answered the door already just say, "sorry, I need to get ready and go out, I don't have time to unload it all right now. Can you please come back at the agreed time?"

my driver says it happens alot but they are always suppose to message/ring first
orders arent origanise into areas all over the place
ive only ever had one message saying theyre early i ont min but its not the point

I think Ocado try to organise by area if they can but its not always possible. I am in the south and have had deliveries where the previous one has been north London!

I use Tesco and most drivers seem to phone ahead if they are more than 20 mins early (most not all). I always thank them for phoning ahead as I much prefer not being surprised. I always book the 11-12 slot. I would be happy with the hour before but given their propensity to be early never book 10-11 as I don’t want them rocking up at 9.15! I like to have time to be up and ready and have my worktops cleared off before they arrive. Once that’s done I am happy to take an early delivery as it gets it out of the way. I bet one in 3 or 4 shops is early. Very rarely are they late. Maybe twice in 4 years. I haven’t done a ‘big shop’ in person since the start of lockdown.

I think the note asking to call first or not deliver early is your best bet OP but they don’t always read them I suspect and may just knock if in the same street. All you can do is say no sorry it’s not convenient and not feel bad about it. The annoying ones are those who don’t phone and unload before knocking. Makes you want to turn them away on principle!

I occasionally use other shops but Asda and Morrisons are often late and/or have missing items. Sainsburys are usually ok and arrive within the time stated. I use Asda once or twice a year. The others 3 or 4 times. The rest of the time I use Tesco.

“Coerced” 🙄

I'm exactly the same.. severe disability.. luckily l only use sainsburys and they are excellent.. the driver always brings the crates into my kitchen and unloads them onto my kitchen counter for me. Always at the correct time.
You need to send an e mail to the supermarket.
I wouldn't have answered.