to turn supermarket delivery away when they ring on my door bell two hours early?

[BasilParsley]

Sort(ish) question: If the supermarket delivery driver turns up at 9am rather than 11am because he's delivering across the road anyway (with no phone call to ask if I could accept an early delivery which is usual) would I be unreasonable to tell him to go away and come back later?

(Long background) It's played on my mind all week so could do with some advice please.

There is a v. small care home opposite my house that also gets the same supermarket to deliver, generally on the same day, but at different times (sometimes around the same time, sometimes earlier, sometimes later).

The reason I order a slot later in the morning is that I have a reasonably severe disability that means it takes me a while to get going in the morning e.g. the ablutions and the getting dressed, breakfasting etc.

Due to the fact that my disability makes me more prone to infections like covid and it takes a lot longer for me put stuff away , I always ask the driver to unload the crates into bags I supply in my porch. I then take my time, decanting those bags into the kitchen cupboards/fridge/freezer etc.

Driver last week clearly had a 9am-ish delivery at the home across the road so rang on my doorbell around that time. I was still in my dressing gown (and wrapped in a towel underneath because I was drip-drying having not long got out of the bath).

I told him he was too early but maybe he could give me five minutes to get dressed then I can accept the delivery. He said yes I'm early, but I've just delivered over the road so if you get your bags, I'll put your order in them and put them in the porch so I won't need to come back.

I felt so coerced (and still bleary-eyed and getting to grips with the day), I went and hid in my skanky dressing gown in the living room for a bit until I heard him call from the porch that it was all done. Got to the porch and the outer porch door is wide open and the bags are all preventing it from being closed.

So I had to deal with it then and there until I was able to close the outer door which left me in a bit of a state for while.

What would you have done?

🤔...you missed infantilizing men.
...maybe something to consider....

I’d say that asking OP to get the bags so he could leave everything in the porch was coercion. It certainly wasn’t for her benefit, given her reasons for booking the later delivery. And to make it worse he left it in a shared doorway with the door wedged open so OP had no choice but to deal with it before she was ready.

You have probably never used a dressing stick.= have you?

Or a sock aid?

You probably don't sleep in your bra because you know you won't be able to put it on in the morning and you have to be somewhere.

You probably don't have to sit for 10 mins to recover from getting dressed.

You probably choose your clothes because you like them, not because of how easy / hard they will be to put on / take off.

These are things that I have to do, the OP may have similar, or worse.

I don’t understand having the option to say no but instead saying yes then kicking off about it

I work for one of the utilities so we have appointments slots

would and have asked if I was on the same st

the majority of the time they are extremely happy as it free the rest of the day up and saves them waiting in

some say no as they are going out

there’s absolutely no need to create such a drama when you 100% had the option to say no

Absolutely this. And only someone with a disability would know the difficulties. Maybe posting in AIBU was OP’s mistake.

When a supermarket delivery driver is knocking on your door and asking you to put the bags in the porch so he can fill them and be on his way it’s difficult to say no. It’s not really creating drama though is it ? Or kicking off. OP just asked a question - what would others do. She didn’t ask for every aspect of the circumstances to be picked apart and criticised.

Yeah f that.

I don't answer the door now unless I know who it is or I can be bothered with their crap (I for some reason get a lot of religious and cold callers). If you can see it's asda, don't answer. I think most people would be ok with the delivery but by not answering you don't need to bend to anyone's rules.