to turn supermarket delivery away when they ring on my door bell two hours early?

[BasilParsley]

Sort(ish) question: If the supermarket delivery driver turns up at 9am rather than 11am because he's delivering across the road anyway (with no phone call to ask if I could accept an early delivery which is usual) would I be unreasonable to tell him to go away and come back later?

(Long background) It's played on my mind all week so could do with some advice please.

There is a v. small care home opposite my house that also gets the same supermarket to deliver, generally on the same day, but at different times (sometimes around the same time, sometimes earlier, sometimes later).

The reason I order a slot later in the morning is that I have a reasonably severe disability that means it takes me a while to get going in the morning e.g. the ablutions and the getting dressed, breakfasting etc.

Due to the fact that my disability makes me more prone to infections like covid and it takes a lot longer for me put stuff away , I always ask the driver to unload the crates into bags I supply in my porch. I then take my time, decanting those bags into the kitchen cupboards/fridge/freezer etc.

Driver last week clearly had a 9am-ish delivery at the home across the road so rang on my doorbell around that time. I was still in my dressing gown (and wrapped in a towel underneath because I was drip-drying having not long got out of the bath).

I told him he was too early but maybe he could give me five minutes to get dressed then I can accept the delivery. He said yes I'm early, but I've just delivered over the road so if you get your bags, I'll put your order in them and put them in the porch so I won't need to come back.

I felt so coerced (and still bleary-eyed and getting to grips with the day), I went and hid in my skanky dressing gown in the living room for a bit until I heard him call from the porch that it was all done. Got to the porch and the outer porch door is wide open and the bags are all preventing it from being closed.

So I had to deal with it then and there until I was able to close the outer door which left me in a bit of a state for while.

What would you have done?

I feel your pain op. You should definitely complain.

All these posters that are telling you that it isn't a big deal aren't understanding how difficult it can be in the morning for someone with a serious health problem.

Pain and mobility are often worse first thing before you get going (if you manage to get going at all) and it can take time for painkillers etc to kick in.

I would find this very hard if it happened to me but I make sure that I use a supermarket that still delivers in bags. This can make the process a lot easier as the fridge and frozen things are separate and I can deal with those first leaving the rest to be done over the course of the day.

That's not what I asked.

Best comment ever

Use Ocado - everything always in stock; now have price-match so give vouchers if more expensive than the big three.

There's nothing wrong with him trying to deliver early but there also nothing wrong with you refusing to accept it or not answering the door.

I have a note on my account saying I won’t accept early deliveries (they’re timed so they arrive when housekeeper is here as I’m injured and struggle to unpack).

I don’t agree that a ring doorbell is “unethical”, however. Covertly filming someone, yes, but with the amount of CCTV in our society I don’t think a ring doorbell, clearly displayed, is unethical. (I sit on an ethics committee and I think my colleagues would agree!).

I have complained so much to Tesco for doing this. Once they came three hours early without a call. When I am wfh, I feel obliged to answer the door, even if I am on a Teams call. I need to be tougher.

This happened when I changed my regular slot from 1800 to 1700. Someone told me it was to do with their shifts, so 1700 deliveries would always be early and 1800 ones always late.

What has helped is recently I have put a firm delivery note that they must call me if they come early. That seems to have worked over the last two weeks.

I'd have said, yes of course, no problem and been glad the delivery was done and I could do something else.

I might have apologised for looking a fright in my dressing gown and turban and probably laughed at myself. I'd certainly have said thank you and I hope you have a good day. Then I'd have carried on with my morning routine and unpacked the shopping when I was ready, one bag at a time until I could close the porch door.

I'd also be very grateful that the drivers are happy to decant from crate to bag.

I generally find that if yiu are nice to tradesmen, etc, they go the extra mile. If I were you I'd stop wasting time being cross.

I complained weekly and Tesco drivers kept coming early without calling me.

Tesco have an option to put a note to the driver - I'd write in that you are unable to accept a delivery before the booked time.

What a bastard. Report him to his employer and try and get him sacked. You deserve so much better than this.

They are supposed to call and ask permission to come early first - I would call the supermarket customer service line and explain that it was not good enough. If you’ve booked/paid for a specific slot - regardless of disabilities, school runs and myriad of reasons WHY you’ve chosen to have it in that slot - then they should honour it. At the very least he should have waited the 10mins or so you asked for BEFORE unpacking.

YANBU

I am so grateful for food deliveries as I also have health problems and think the deliverers have very hard jobs - so I do accept early or late deliveries. They really don't care what you look like! It is also not their job to put the loose items into bags for you - the customer is supposed to do that but Iceland still use bags if you're interested - they are ok for many things.
I once had a deliverer who actually would not leave and think he was waiting for a tip and he even got to sit down and look through a microscope in my kitchen - I did not want to leave him to look for change but never ordered from that large supermarket again! I never let them inside now - they stay at entrance.

My late dad had health/mobility issues which meant that it took him a long time to get moving and ready in the mornings….he had a routine which took a long time, but worked for him and set him up for a slightly less painful day. If that was interrupted he had a shitty day painwise. He always tried to accommodate others to his own detriment.

I totally get why you feel like you did

I know you don't want or have to explain yourself but from the humannpoint of view, he is just trying to get his job done and is unlikely to think about disability.

So in your situation I'd have said I appreciate him offering to drop my shopping in earlier so that I can get on with my day and not wait in but I have hidden additional needs which us why I've booked the slot and so I'd be really grateful if he can come back at the slot time.

I had customer facing roles as a teen/early twenties and it was only when someone told me something that my eyes were opened to it. A quiet word may go a long way and he may try and go the extra mile for you in other ways X

I'd put a complaint in.

I can see if it was say up to 30 minutes earlier, but 2 hrs is a whole different delivery slot and if you had wanted it at that time, that's when you would have ordered it.

Your situation makes it particularly egregious that they are trying to force this on you, but in many cases if the shopping rocked up 2 hrs early there would be nobody in, so it's simply not acceptable regardless of circumstances.

I'm sorry this happened to you OP. I've always had a good experience with supermarket delivery. Very polite. Phone if they want to deliver even 10 minutes early, really apologetic if late (even though it's not their fault the rubbish council keeps closing off roads).

I think you should put in a complaint, and ask if there's some way of signalling on your account that you have a disability. Yes, a lot of people wouldn't care if the groceries arrived early and they happened to be in, but when you explained your situation, he should have agreed to come back later.

They aren’t allowed to come that early. I’ve had a Asda van sit out side my house for over a hour and I went out and said I will just take the shopping. He apologised and said he can only deliver 15 min before time.

I have been using Ocado for well over 10 years, maybe 15. I have only once had a problem that they arrived early and this was only 20 minutes. I have only had a rude driver a couple of times. They have let me know several times that they were running late. On one of these occasions, I rang them to say I was going out and they rang the driver so that he would come to me first. My neighbour has Sainsbury’s and they can be really early.

I don’t order from Asda any more either. Their customer service is dreadful. I had several issues with standard deliveries and the thing that finished it for me was the introduction of same day ‘express’ delivery. Only tried it once - it never arrived. When l rang to find out why, l was casually informed that it had been cancelled because they use Uber for deliveries and couldn’t find a driver. They clearly had no procedure in place for informing the poor sap at home that their shopping wasn’t coming ! I haven’t shopped with them since.

There is also the facility to note things like disability related issues on the customer account, so that the supermarket are aware.

Tell me you don't understand chronic illness/disability without telling me...

There are some grim posts on this thread. People who need things done in a particular way or a at particular time due to disability are not "hard work" fgs.

Ocado don't deliver everywhere unfortunately - I'd love to use them but they don't cover our area!

Then he needs better training.

Lots of people who get their shopping delivered are disabled or elderly. Delivery drivers should be conscious of this and not force customers to explain themselves just go get the service they've paid for.

This is just one of a few posts entirely glossing over the fact that OP has a disability and deliberately books a later delivery because she has problems. I have similar difficulties and l can assure you that the views you’ve expressed bear little relevance to OP’s problem. You actually come across as telling the OP that she should be grateful they accommodate her disability. Many elderly and disabled people use home delivery so it won’t be anything the driver hasn’t encountered before.