to turn supermarket delivery away when they ring on my door bell two hours early?

[BasilParsley]

Sort(ish) question: If the supermarket delivery driver turns up at 9am rather than 11am because he's delivering across the road anyway (with no phone call to ask if I could accept an early delivery which is usual) would I be unreasonable to tell him to go away and come back later?

(Long background) It's played on my mind all week so could do with some advice please.

There is a v. small care home opposite my house that also gets the same supermarket to deliver, generally on the same day, but at different times (sometimes around the same time, sometimes earlier, sometimes later).

The reason I order a slot later in the morning is that I have a reasonably severe disability that means it takes me a while to get going in the morning e.g. the ablutions and the getting dressed, breakfasting etc.

Due to the fact that my disability makes me more prone to infections like covid and it takes a lot longer for me put stuff away , I always ask the driver to unload the crates into bags I supply in my porch. I then take my time, decanting those bags into the kitchen cupboards/fridge/freezer etc.

Driver last week clearly had a 9am-ish delivery at the home across the road so rang on my doorbell around that time. I was still in my dressing gown (and wrapped in a towel underneath because I was drip-drying having not long got out of the bath).

I told him he was too early but maybe he could give me five minutes to get dressed then I can accept the delivery. He said yes I'm early, but I've just delivered over the road so if you get your bags, I'll put your order in them and put them in the porch so I won't need to come back.

I felt so coerced (and still bleary-eyed and getting to grips with the day), I went and hid in my skanky dressing gown in the living room for a bit until I heard him call from the porch that it was all done. Got to the porch and the outer porch door is wide open and the bags are all preventing it from being closed.

So I had to deal with it then and there until I was able to close the outer door which left me in a bit of a state for while.

What would you have done?

Yes he's a reasonably regular driver so he knows the routine. BUT he's the only one who always objects to touching my alcohol (think a couple of bottles wine) because of his religion so I pack them. But, on this occasion he was more than happy to not hold to that tenet...

Wasn't he still there when you went to close the door/called you to say he was done? At that point, I would have asked him to move the bags so I could shut the door.

I work from home some days and have had Tesco try to delivery early. It is really, really annoying. I was running a zoom meeting and presenting about a new project at the time. I’d ordered it for 6pm and it came at 4pm. They persisted in ringing the bell so I ended up having to explain and make my apologies/put everyone in a breakout rooms for a few minutes whilst I dealt with it. I don’t know why they think you’re just waiting at home with nothing else in your life going on.

Nope, not ASDA - it's Mr T...

I sometimes book a late 9pm delivery slot on a weekday because I work until 8.15pm and get home around 8.40pm. Numerous times I have had the driver phoning me at 8pm when I am still
working, asking why I’m not answering the door - when I’m not even at home. Ten/ fifteen mins either way not a problem but not a whole hour early! I agree, it’s really annoying.

Nope, by the time I got to the door (my mobility is really bad) he was already climbing into the cab of his truck...

I had it with Ocado once where the driver put all the shopping on my doorstep 3 hours before my delivery was due then rang the bell. Then he ranted at me when I answered the bell and said I wasn't home and wouldn't be home until my delivery was due.

I also complained to Ocado. I don't mind them phoning me to ask if they can deliver early, but don't just unilaterally decide that it's OK, and certainly don't start shouting and ranting at me because you have to put my shopping back into your van.

My deliveries often come early but the driver always phones to see if I'm available & it suits me. There's only been once I couldn't accommodate & the driver was fine about it. Said he'd just wait til I came home.

I wouldn't answer the door.

Fishwife that I am, I would have yelled after him at that point!

😂I need training on how to become a fishwife!

I hate this, I get my orders on my day off with the kids and get a slot during naptime.
Then I get a voicemail that the driver is on the way an hour early and have to pack my order with a crying baby and an overexcited toddler running into my legs!

I will take some of the advice here and get them to pack it into bags and drop it inside themselves next time.

I use Ocado and most of the time, they ring first if going to be very early , maybe not if only a few minutes. The one time they were an hour early, they didn’t ring and that driver was rude.(Generally speaking, the drivers are lovely).

Just tell Sainsbury’s to put a note on your account

I can't see how you were inconvenienced by the circumstances you describe, the driver offered to help with your bags. Just put a note on your order saying no early deliveries. You could have been out in any case.

You felt co-erced because he offered to put your shopping into your bags whilst you got dressed? JFC. Are you really this bored? He was trying to save time, the environment and help you out at the same time.
This is unbelievable

Given that you know why you are getting early deliveries sometimes, would it be worth you speaking to the care home so you can co-ordinate your delivery times to a slot that suits you both?

I can see why the driver wants to offload in close proximity if he is there and knows he has another delivery in the same-ish place on the same round, saves time/petrol/might get off work earlier etc.

I would be interested to hear from someone who does the deliveries how it all works, ie do you get a van full to deliver throughout your working day or do you get a few shops, then come back for more?

JFC I was not bored, I was struggling with mobility and breathing at that time of the morning due to a chronic health condition. Which is why I always order for late in the morning.

I felt coerced because I was not expecting him at that time, I was struggling with my breathing and didn't have the strength to argue. He refused to wait five minutes while I got dressed.... So coerced me into getting the bags for him to put the shopping in then dumped and ran. Absolutely no customer service/consideration whatsoever.

As you're in and you want/need the food, I think it's silly to turn him away personally. It sounds like he was being quite helpful so I think you're overthinking this.

Oh FFS you’re in a dressing gown with wet hair, is it really such a deliberation? The guy is delivering next door, of course it’s sensible to just accept it whilst you’re in the house, albeit in a dressing gown.

I went and caught up 20 escaped ewes in wellies and a bathrobe this morning and it wasn’t really on my pre7am itinerary.

it really is a pandemic that we cannot be in any way inconvenienced by other people.

This would make me very cross. What if I was having a much looked forward to (and rare) lie in? If this was the case and I’d ordered at 11 so that I could get up at 10/ 10.30 for the shop, I’d be
fuming if I’d been woken at 9. My bedroom is on the second floor and I often sleep with earplugs in, but if it had been one of those who bangs the door down it would make me very angry.

it makes perfect sense to ask when he’s across the rd
I think the fact he knows he put it in bags and it just sits there and you unpack it in your own time granted you would have to sort freezer stuff so it would come across as though your just been awkward

delivery drivers can have a nightmare with traffic and keeping to schedules this would help him massively

come the day when he’s run out of time do your delivery do think he’ll work on so you get your shopping or just take it back to the store
and this does happen

Anyway none of that matters. The point is that if you book a specific time they should bring the food at that time - if they want to bring it early by all means call and see if it’s ok, but if the phone isn’t answered that counts as a no!

OP you can ask customer services to put a delivery note on the system not to deliver early.

We had an issue where our order was turning up 30 minutes early consistently and blocking our cleaners from leaving (I think a neighbour had an earlier delivery).

it’s not happened since the note (although they’ve been late twice) and the last time so late that they had to wait for me to get back - but I pay extra for a delivery that suits me.

Why bother having the facility for customers to select a convenient slot, then turn up during a different one? Maybe if he had phoned ahead, but to just turn up is not on. And for those criticising the OP for being uncomfortable answering the door in her dressing gown, there was a bit more to it than that if you take the time to read her posts. But still, that's not even the point.