to turn supermarket delivery away when they ring on my door bell two hours early?

[BasilParsley]

Sort(ish) question: If the supermarket delivery driver turns up at 9am rather than 11am because he's delivering across the road anyway (with no phone call to ask if I could accept an early delivery which is usual) would I be unreasonable to tell him to go away and come back later?

(Long background) It's played on my mind all week so could do with some advice please.

There is a v. small care home opposite my house that also gets the same supermarket to deliver, generally on the same day, but at different times (sometimes around the same time, sometimes earlier, sometimes later).

The reason I order a slot later in the morning is that I have a reasonably severe disability that means it takes me a while to get going in the morning e.g. the ablutions and the getting dressed, breakfasting etc.

Due to the fact that my disability makes me more prone to infections like covid and it takes a lot longer for me put stuff away , I always ask the driver to unload the crates into bags I supply in my porch. I then take my time, decanting those bags into the kitchen cupboards/fridge/freezer etc.

Driver last week clearly had a 9am-ish delivery at the home across the road so rang on my doorbell around that time. I was still in my dressing gown (and wrapped in a towel underneath because I was drip-drying having not long got out of the bath).

I told him he was too early but maybe he could give me five minutes to get dressed then I can accept the delivery. He said yes I'm early, but I've just delivered over the road so if you get your bags, I'll put your order in them and put them in the porch so I won't need to come back.

I felt so coerced (and still bleary-eyed and getting to grips with the day), I went and hid in my skanky dressing gown in the living room for a bit until I heard him call from the porch that it was all done. Got to the porch and the outer porch door is wide open and the bags are all preventing it from being closed.

So I had to deal with it then and there until I was able to close the outer door which left me in a bit of a state for while.

What would you have done?

I have sainsburys and sometimes the drivers call to check if he can come earlier. I WFH anyway and it would rarely be an issue. He said that his route included 2 doors up from me, a house a 30min round trip to get to, then back to my house!

Due to the fact that my disability makes me more prone to infections like covid
Apologies OP, but how does the driver arriving too early make you MORE prone to infections? Surely you still wear an FFP3 mask if you are so vulnerable- regardless of the time of day?

I agree they should have called/texted to check it was ok to arrive earlier, but equally, no obligation on YOU to answer the door in a dressing gown and towel drip-drying and bleary from the bath! When the driver packed your bags for you, didn't you move the ones that stopped the door closing, then dealt with them in your own time?

The good thing about Tesco deliveries is that you can add a note online to state your preferences as regards delivery - for instance mine states that, owing to a back injury, I cannot lift the boxes so need someone to bring them to kitchen work counter for me. You could make it clear that deliveries before 11 am are not acceptable.

Don't be a dick, the op has already stated she has a chronic illness and was struggling with her mobility and breathing. It wasn't just because she was in her dressing gown with wet hair 🙄

I wouldn't want any fridge stuff that I wasn't using within a day sitting at 20 degrees for 2 hours.

Change your day

Those ewes must have looked a picture in wellies and bathrobes.

DH worked as a Sainsburys online grocery driver last year. He says it's perfectly within your rights to say no to an earlier slot, and you shouldn't feel bad if it's not convenient, but most people are perfectly happy with it if they are home anyway. It's certainly not cause to complain to the store (unless they've been rude or inconsiderate).

Sometimes the delivery route the drivers are given is a bit irrational, and drivers will always try to complete it more efficiently, especially if they know the local area.

And yes, sometimes the alternative is they have to wait. DH had one round where there was a huge gap between the last two delivery slots. He called the last person, but she was away from home, so he spent 90 minutes just sitting in his van before he could deliver the last order and finish his shift. True, he got paid for his time, but it was a bit of a pain.

well other than not opening your doow, complain to the supermarket, and as suggested above, make a note in the delivery instructions that you are not able to accept early deliveries.

I don't do online supermarket deliveries often - don't you get cheaper deliveries if you order one close to another delivery nearby, or accept a more flexible delivery slot?

I agree it's really annoying. I always book mine for 9-10 when the kids are in bed. The amount of times they turn up at 8pm. However I then found out on Tesco you can put a note on with instructions and I put do not come early without calling. This works for most of them. Aside from the idiot that turned up at 7.30 last week when I was at a school concert.

I am a Tesco driver, and would get an absolute bollocking if I tried to pull this! We aren't even allowed to deliver out of order. Complain! He won't try that again.

Some supermarkets.charge a cheaper rate for a green delivery because they're in the area anyway.

Yanbu at all to say no. It put you in a difficult position. I totally get it.

People who are not getting it don't understand disability and chronic illness.

I'm just here to savour the delightful use of the word "dishabille" in the wild, thanks op 😁👌🏻 So much more pleasing than "in me old string vest and baggy bed leggings" ♥️

You are completely within your rights to not accept a delivery hours earlier than you booked regardless of the reason.

For what it's worth I think your reasoning is absolutely valid and the whole point of this service is to make your life easier not to make the delivery driver's life easier.

For those who are happy with the flexibility they can choose a 4 hour slot rather than a 1 hour slot.

I work from home and book my delivery for my lunch break but generally I'm happy to accept deliveries earlier but if I have a teams meeting I wouldn't answer the door and would expect them to come back at the time I had booked.

@eatsleepfarmrepeat very tone deaf and rude comment. The dressing gown obviously wasn't the problem, the disability was the barrier here. Lucky you, not to understand how disabilities can be in real life. And it is just that, purely luck alone, which means your are able enough to run after animals. Best not to throw casual judgement around because who knows how life pans out?

Last year when I had a really bad back so found it hard to move and definitely couldn't put shopping away. I ordered a late afternoon delivery because I knew my adult DS would be there to.put things including frozen food away. The Ocado delivery driver tried to deliver at 11am. I struggled to get to the door but he kept banging. I told him I was unwell and he'd have to return at 4pm as I ordered as my DS was coming over to put my shopping away. He didn't look happy and mumbled about wasting fuel and bad for planet Earth. Normally I'd have accepted it but he did irritate me because I was in a lot of pain.

I had this a few times and I phoned customer services and complained. They were brilliant and couldn’t apologise enough. Also got a voucher off my shopping and I’ve not had an issue since.

Tesco bring mine, they are my superheroes. I struggle a bit in supermarkets, delivery is a lifesaver for me. Sometimes they come early but they always phone and ask first. Occasionally they are late and they always let me know. A while ago there were massive roadsworks near us, our one way street was closed for more than a month with a very complicated diversion. They got to us every week bar one when they took it back to the store. They offered to try again but we took pity and picked it up. It was all packed and ready for us so not a big deal. I'm grateful every time the van pulls up

Tesco always rings first to ask if they can deliver early. They are very considerate. Could you swap?

Fair enough. Your point doesn’t change my mind.

Can you not just put the bags ready in the porch for him if he does arrive early. Leave note advising him and tell him to secure the porch door when he leaves.
Don’t really get the big deal, or the need to complain.

I quite enjoyed "ablutions" and "decanting." 🤓

OP, let management know of your dilemma and thank them for their thoughtfulness to drop off early with regrets that you can't accept the delivery before X. Perhaps they can deliver across the road later?

Only unethical if you install without telling them.

If my neighbour wanted to do this for the reasons you have given, I wouldnt have a problem with it. But then I really dont get why people lose their shit about "invasion of privacy" over a Ring doorbell. Unless you are doing something illegal, what does it matter?!

Of course you can tell the driver you don't want to take it early. You're a customer that's a good enough reason, you neednt disclose your disability.

I also wouldn't get upset at them though. For a lot of people, they might find it handy having it come early so it'd be a win win.

Please don't feel bad about either yourself or the driver it's just one of those things, nothing personal on either side ❤️

I've been getting my Tesco deliveries 1 or 2 hours early too. I feel pressured to accept it early as I'm actually at home, but it's been in the middle of giving my toddler dinner, or sometimes cooking it, or even during the school run for older dc, so the timing is pretty crucial. Generally I arrange it for after DH gets home, so he can deal with the groceries and I can keep an eye on the dcs. They do always phone or text ahead but it's still annoying. We get a week's worth of shopping (for a family of 5) in one delivery so it takes quite lot of time to put away, and I have to deal with fridge/freezer stuff immediately.

I had one lately that turned up an hour early and then refused to carry my cat litter bags and multipack cat food tins to the door. "I’m on a timer love, you'll have to help me, I’m not lifting that"
I carried all of the heavy items on my order from the van to the door myself, plus two crates of other bits. He took a lightweight crate containing small items and was gleeful telling me that his next delivery was to a flat who'd ordered several crates of beer and he wasn’t going to bother. He called me ten mins later thinking I was the guy he was next delivering to. Upon telling him I was his last customer he chuckled telling me that he'd cancelled the guys delivery, he'd have to wait to be refunded.
Really pissed me off. I don’t mind helping but it's only this guy that refuses to bother. I've had him before with smaller orders and he's always had something to say that criticises. Don’t do the fucking job then!