to turn supermarket delivery away when they ring on my door bell two hours early?

[BasilParsley]

Sort(ish) question: If the supermarket delivery driver turns up at 9am rather than 11am because he's delivering across the road anyway (with no phone call to ask if I could accept an early delivery which is usual) would I be unreasonable to tell him to go away and come back later?

(Long background) It's played on my mind all week so could do with some advice please.

There is a v. small care home opposite my house that also gets the same supermarket to deliver, generally on the same day, but at different times (sometimes around the same time, sometimes earlier, sometimes later).

The reason I order a slot later in the morning is that I have a reasonably severe disability that means it takes me a while to get going in the morning e.g. the ablutions and the getting dressed, breakfasting etc.

Due to the fact that my disability makes me more prone to infections like covid and it takes a lot longer for me put stuff away , I always ask the driver to unload the crates into bags I supply in my porch. I then take my time, decanting those bags into the kitchen cupboards/fridge/freezer etc.

Driver last week clearly had a 9am-ish delivery at the home across the road so rang on my doorbell around that time. I was still in my dressing gown (and wrapped in a towel underneath because I was drip-drying having not long got out of the bath).

I told him he was too early but maybe he could give me five minutes to get dressed then I can accept the delivery. He said yes I'm early, but I've just delivered over the road so if you get your bags, I'll put your order in them and put them in the porch so I won't need to come back.

I felt so coerced (and still bleary-eyed and getting to grips with the day), I went and hid in my skanky dressing gown in the living room for a bit until I heard him call from the porch that it was all done. Got to the porch and the outer porch door is wide open and the bags are all preventing it from being closed.

So I had to deal with it then and there until I was able to close the outer door which left me in a bit of a state for while.

What would you have done?

This is why I order for after lunch on the Day i know I’m to be in. Different issues but I too due to chronic illness/disability really struggle in the morning. It takes a while before I’d be well enough to move shopping so iBook a 2-3pm slot which means even if it did come early I’d b ready. I shouldn’t have to feel that I need to but it makes me feel better and more in control to have a buffer.

the truth is we shouldn’t be put in that situation!

You should make a complaint.

You sound like hard work, just take the delivery fgs.

Totally agree with this. Just get him to leave it and take it in when you can and are ready. Its really not a big deal in my view, things won't go off if they have to spend 30 mins outside. Why are we all so precious these days?

U order at a particular time for a reason so I.understand where yiu are coming from OP

I completely understand this. I am disabled, housebound, had a delivery booked which did the same to me too. I had no one there to take order in at that time, and had to ring my mum to come over and help. The delivery driver was very pushy saying he could come in house and put shopping away, which I refused. I felt very uncomfortable.

I can't see the problem in him asking. You might have been happy to have the delivery earlier. And it was helpful of him to put the stuff in your bags for you.

He didn't coerce you into anything. You either needed to say it wasn't convenient or accept the delivery, which is what you chose to do. He asked a question. You could have said no.

If this is happening regularly then you need to nip it in the bud I think, as it's obviously not convenient for you, and one of the services they offer is for you to select a convenient time.

I think you should contact the supermarket, explain what is happening and tell them that you don't accept early deliveries, and ask them to note that on your account.

I don't think he did anything wrong really.

If he was delivering to a close neighbour, of course he will wonder if you're home and he can deliver early.

He knocked to ask the question, and you said yes, so he did it.

Presumably, he would have come back later if you hadn't answered or if you'd said no.

But I understand why you don't want it to happen again so I would make that clear as a comment on my file or order.

I've stopped getting grocery deliveries for this reason and do click and collect instead. I would pick a slot for a reason (eg: after I had finished WFH or when other people were going to be in the house to help put the shopping away) and it was annoying when they would just turn up at a random time. They know full well most people won't turn them away if they're in the house regardless of whether it's convenient or not.

YANBU complain to the supermarket, it’s not on at all.

I don't think there's anything wrong with asking and I certainly wouldn't complain about someone asking the question. I know I've been very happy to have deliveries earlier on occasion - I wanted an earlier slot but couldn't get one, I'm waiting to go out etc

Why are so many people suggesting complaining? The delivery man asked the question and the OP could have said no. It seems sensible to me that he asked if she would like her delivery early as he was outside and it was loaded on his van.

I can't believe people get their knickers in a twist about perfectly reasonable situations.

Blimey, nobody forced her to open the door in her dressing gown! From her description of being wrapped in a towel, dripping from having just got out of the bath, I would certainly not have answered the door!

Yanbu. I’ve turned a driver away in this situation because I was about to go on the school run then straight into a meeting. The driver was annoyed but tough shit. I payed for and selected a slot for my convenience.

As you can tell by this post some people wouldn't mind others would so I don't think he did anything wrong by asking since he was right there

What about chilled or frozen goods ? This one of the reasons I don't do online shopping.

I wouldn't be impressed but I would accept the order. It does make more sense for him to deliver to both nearby locations at the same time.

I've had them call me to say they will be early multiple times (as in more than 30 minutes) then get very grumpy that I said no, one of the many reasons I stopped getting deliveries.

I feel it's unethical to install a ring type video thing.

Why would it be unethical to install a device that would immediately make your life easier on a daily basis? Don’t be daft!

Also, trust me, he’s used to seeing a lot worse than your dressing gown.

I don’t think the driver was unreasonable to ask if he could deliver. I don’t think you would’ve been unreasonable to turn him away.

Just ring them up to complain. Explain its the 2nd time it's happened now. They will have a word with him.

Can I ask those of you ffsing away at the op - did you miss the bit where she explained why she gets a later slot and that she was struggling because of her disability or do you just not give a shit that a disabled person wants the service they specifically requested be delivered at a time that makes it a bit easier for them, to actually be delivered at that time?

Just tell you can't take it yet.
They will come back at the correct time. This jappoto me often.
Or don't answer the door.

All she had to do was say no, it's not convenient.