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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Bloody Prize giving

379 replies

AllienOlliemum · 14/05/2024 16:47

I have 3 DC in the same school, it's a grammar school and tends to achieve very good results. Every year they do prize giving. There are two award categories, Excellence and Effort.
Last year I queried what exactly excellence is in this case and was told "The excellence awards are decided by each department as a whole and considering attainment, attitude, progress and effort" the second award category is simply for effort.
In the upper school (Y10-13) 3 students are selected for each subject and ranked 1st, 2nd and 3rd for excellence, and 3 students (if enough uptake of the subject) are given effort, not ranked). In Lower school (Y7-9) 5 students are selected for excellence, not ranked and 5 for effort not ranked.

Today the upper school prize giving awards list was sent out. The actual ceremony is at the end of June but I guess it's because some leavers will have to plan around it. My eldest DD is in Y11, sitting her GCSEs and for the 5th year running not a single award. She has fantastic predicted grades and we are frequently told how hardworking and diligent she is. As per usual though it's the same kids as always. In fact one girl has an award in every single subject she must have taken, 7 Excellence awards and 3 Effort! With 1st in 5 of those! She also seems to have won the award for an essay writing competition and the award given by the historical society!
My other two children (Y8 and Y9) have also never received an award to date but the lower school awards aren't announced until middle of June.
Last year I queried how it is possible one child wins all the awards and was told the departments select their own winners and can't know who the other departments have chosen.
There are also non academic awards such as Integrity, but typically it's always the same students who get these too.

AIBU to be massively pissed off with this bloody system which is centred around favouritism!
It's every good damn year!

OP posts:
bbqsalt · 14/05/2024 16:49

Are you aware of any other parent taking issue with it?

But essentially - don’t embarrass your teen by stamping your feet

bbqsalt · 14/05/2024 16:50

loads of other children would never have got an award

a number of children will have repeatedly got an award

the teachers aren’t playing favourites op

SherlockHomies · 14/05/2024 16:50

If the teachers are giving the awards independently, it probably isn't favoritism.

Just very very high achieving pupils?

bbqsalt · 14/05/2024 16:50

did you children get awards at primary?

bbqsalt · 14/05/2024 16:51

by secondary the daft mentality that “everyone’s a winner” that is sometimes the philosophy of primaries - has well and truly and thankfully gone out of the window

AllienOlliemum · 14/05/2024 16:51

bbqsalt · 14/05/2024 16:50

did you children get awards at primary?

I don't think primary is comparable, they did star of the week so everyone got a chance and similar.

OP posts:
bbqsalt · 14/05/2024 16:52

In fact one girl has an award in every single subject she must have taken, 7 Excellence awards and 3 Effort! With 1st in 5 of those!

good on her!!

mrsm43s · 14/05/2024 16:52

Why do you think that it's favouritism, and not just that this girl has high attainment, good attitude, makes good progress and puts in lots of effort across all the subjects she studies?

bbqsalt · 14/05/2024 16:53

mrsm43s · 14/05/2024 16:52

Why do you think that it's favouritism, and not just that this girl has high attainment, good attitude, makes good progress and puts in lots of effort across all the subjects she studies?

the op thinks it favouritism because her child hasn’t won one

her 18 year old child

Emotionalsupporthamster · 14/05/2024 16:53

What makes you think it’s favouritism rather than exceptionally strong academic performance?

AllienOlliemum · 14/05/2024 16:54

Emotionalsupporthamster · 14/05/2024 16:53

What makes you think it’s favouritism rather than exceptionally strong academic performance?

I just find it hard to believe that one child is dominating every subject, surely most agree that isn't realistic!

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 14/05/2024 16:56

bbqsalt · 14/05/2024 16:53

the op thinks it favouritism because her child hasn’t won one

her 18 year old child

She isn't 18, she is doing GCSEs.

bbqsalt · 14/05/2024 16:56

AllienOlliemum · 14/05/2024 16:54

I just find it hard to believe that one child is dominating every subject, surely most agree that isn't realistic!

nope i believe it

op has any other parent ever expressed being pissed off about this to you?

are your children pissed off?

do your children know you are pissed off?!

bbqsalt · 14/05/2024 16:56

SoupDragon · 14/05/2024 16:56

She isn't 18, she is doing GCSEs.

said she’d missed it 5 times

SlipperyLizard · 14/05/2024 16:56

I won every subject award during my A-levels and even though I went to a grammar school (so swots should be par for the course) I was soooo embarrassed.

I can still hear the deputy head saying “the sixth form prize for English AND history AND biology goes to…” and then having to collect my £10 book tokens (insufficient compensation for my embarrassment, I felt).

Not saying anyone should feel sorry for me, but I bet the kid at your DDs’ school would rather the awards were more spread out!

saltinesandcoffeecups · 14/05/2024 16:56

AllienOlliemum · 14/05/2024 16:54

I just find it hard to believe that one child is dominating every subject, surely most agree that isn't realistic!

Except when it is. I went to school with a couple of kids like this. Good for them I thought.

SherlockHomies · 14/05/2024 16:56

AllienOlliemum · 14/05/2024 16:54

I just find it hard to believe that one child is dominating every subject, surely most agree that isn't realistic!

Oh no honestly some kids really are excellent all-rounders.

My 3 DC are adults now and I can still remember the kids in all of their year groups who excelled in almost every single subject.

I'd say there was an average of 2 or 3 kids out of each year group of 120 pupils.

bbqsalt · 14/05/2024 16:57

5 year running
start at grammar at 11

bbqsalt · 14/05/2024 16:57

or 12

saltinesandcoffeecups · 14/05/2024 16:58

You still haven’t said @AllienOlliemum what does your kid think?

SoupDragon · 14/05/2024 16:58

AllienOlliemum · 14/05/2024 16:54

I just find it hard to believe that one child is dominating every subject, surely most agree that isn't realistic!

Some children achieve straight 9s so yes it is possible to be "dominating" every single subject.

SoupDragon · 14/05/2024 16:59

bbqsalt · 14/05/2024 16:56

said she’d missed it 5 times

Yes, so what is 11 plus 5?

Emotionalsupporthamster · 14/05/2024 16:59

AllienOlliemum · 14/05/2024 16:54

I just find it hard to believe that one child is dominating every subject, surely most agree that isn't realistic!

I was that kid. It happens. I was definitely not a favourite of all the teachers

AllienOlliemum · 14/05/2024 16:59

@bbqsalt

DD finds it frustrating. She claims this girl is a bit of a try hard and teachers pet. DD thinks most people at school are very intimidated by her as she's the "full package" (sporty, creative, academic and attractive) but doesn't seem to have many friends.
DD went to primary with her for Y5 and 6 (she moved from elsewhere) and they didn't get on very so well so I do think DD is bitter about it.

Other parents don't seem to have the same issue of their children getting absolutely no awards despite consistently doing well.

OP posts:
AllienOlliemum · 14/05/2024 17:00

@bbqsalt she is 16.
She didn't get awards in Y7,8,9,10 and now 11 - so 5 times?

OP posts:
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