Bloody Prize giving

[AllienOlliemum]

I have 3 DC in the same school, it's a grammar school and tends to achieve very good results. Every year they do prize giving. There are two award categories, Excellence and Effort.
Last year I queried what exactly excellence is in this case and was told "The excellence awards are decided by each department as a whole and considering attainment, attitude, progress and effort" the second award category is simply for effort.
In the upper school (Y10-13) 3 students are selected for each subject and ranked 1st, 2nd and 3rd for excellence, and 3 students (if enough uptake of the subject) are given effort, not ranked). In Lower school (Y7-9) 5 students are selected for excellence, not ranked and 5 for effort not ranked.

Today the upper school prize giving awards list was sent out. The actual ceremony is at the end of June but I guess it's because some leavers will have to plan around it. My eldest DD is in Y11, sitting her GCSEs and for the 5th year running not a single award. She has fantastic predicted grades and we are frequently told how hardworking and diligent she is. As per usual though it's the same kids as always. In fact one girl has an award in every single subject she must have taken, 7 Excellence awards and 3 Effort! With 1st in 5 of those! She also seems to have won the award for an essay writing competition and the award given by the historical society!
My other two children (Y8 and Y9) have also never received an award to date but the lower school awards aren't announced until middle of June.
Last year I queried how it is possible one child wins all the awards and was told the departments select their own winners and can't know who the other departments have chosen.
There are also non academic awards such as Integrity, but typically it's always the same students who get these too.

AIBU to be massively pissed off with this bloody system which is centred around favouritism!
It's every good damn year!

Gosh I honestly would not even give this kind of thing a second thought, you really are getting worked up over something that is very inconsequential here OP.

This, I can't believe a grown woman said that about a child. Some bullies never really leave the playground.

I fucking hate school prize giving. I have a child in mainstream who has SEN and low cognitive ability and he works his fucking socks off. But never of course gets a prize.

Prize giving night is compulsory. last year he asked his form tutor if he really had to go and was told he did. He interpreted this as he was getting a prize. So we all went- DH came back from a work trip a day early and dressed up in suit and tie. Turns out the usual suspects got prizes and Ds did not. When he was told that yes, he really had to go- it meant it was compulsory, but sadly he misunderstood.

When you have Dcs with SEN your entire world is filled with small griefs. That was yet another grief. Seeing his despair and embarrassment and shame.

I know that not getting recognition like this builds resilience. That is one lesson DS has learned very well.

Presumably they must have some sort of criteria for determining the excellence winners?

when my son got awards in junior phase at high school to get an academic award they had to be in the top 15% of pupils in 4 or more subjects

it was easier in the senior school as it was based on performance in the SQA exams

I've taught in schools where there is a pupil like this in some year groups. CAT score completely off the scale compared to other pupils. They are likely to come top in the end of year exams for most subjects, hence winning a lot of prizes if that's how the prizes were calculated. Probably an Oxbridge candidate.

I also went to school where there was a girl like this in my year.

Some schools choose to even out the prizes a bit more, so teachers have to sign up for the different subjects with a choice of a few pupils and SLT have a look at the nominations and spread it out a bit. I can sympathise with you thinking that would be a fairer system.

I can't, however, sympathise with you calling another pupil in your DD's year "little miss perfect". It makes you look bitter and immature. Almost certainly your attitude will be affecting your daughter more than the prize situation.

You’re a nasty piece of work saying this about a child.

The girl works really hard and has no friends - has it occurred to you that each teacher wants to give her a boost, considering the other children aren’t friendly to her?

Your child should work harder to be excellent if she wants an award.

Nope teachers nominate students based on attainment, progress, attitude and effort.
The prizes are given before exams are even sat.

The one plus side is you only go if you have won an award. The awards list gets posted in the library window and an email is sent to the parents of winners.

DD took a picture of the Y11 awards and showed me which is how I know that one girl won most of the awards.

Hmm it can happen though in the year below my son there was a boy who came top in the year in his sqa exams in about 4 or 5 subjects

There are some schools, like Badminton historically (not sure if that's still the case) who reject prize giving entirely. The argument is that pupils should be internally motivated. The pupils winning these prizes would have got the grades anyway: they're not doing it for the prize.

Yes agreed with this, too. I think you need to get a hobby or work harder on yourself if you have the time to write all this guff on mumsnet. Most people wouldn’t give it a second thought.

There were 2 girls like that in my school who got all awards etc. looking back they were definitely just the ones who made the most effort and probably got highest grades and definitely deserved it

ALTHOUGH I do think the whole prize giving thing is bullshit

Wow.

if they happen to be little miss perfect!

That is a terrible way to describe a 16 year old. Jealousy is not an attractive trait and it seems the apple hasn't fallen far from the tree. You don't sound very nice OP

Our school only invite the kids that get the awards. The letter is sent home. The other kids likely don’t known there is an award ceremony at all.

I only knew there ever was one when my daughter got one in year nine.

Much better idea. That way there’s no bitch fest.

I didn't even go to a selective school and there were two kids at my school who always won everything. They were just cleverer than everyone else. I was mostly a straight A student but these guys got 10 A* at GCSE and definitely didn't work as hard as me.
What can you do? They might not actually be happy.
Concentrate on what you can control in your children's lives.

This would be better but at DDs school they all get posted in a public place for anyone to see!

She'll make heaps of friends at Oxford where she'll find like minded people who are at her level; no need to worry, OP.

Same at our school. My youngest has SEN and never been to one but my eldest has won something every year

We get to see who other teachers have selected to avoid this issue. This doesn’t mean the awards turn into a token gesture of “everyone is a winner” but students who are trying really hard get recognised or those who have made huge progress. It seems a bit odd creating a 1st, 2nd and 3rd place excellent award. Surely you’re either excellent or you are not? I think they need to create more categories to share out the awards more e.g. progress, resilience, effort etc.

sounds like the awards are earned then.

So you wouldnt mind this kid winning as long as you didn’t know then..?

My DD was awarded all four subject prizes in her A level year and went on to get very high A stars in her A levels. She also went to a high achieving grammar. She fully deserved the prizes as she consistently had the highest marks in her year group. And yeah she's good looking, sporty, sociable and arty too. Should she be hated for this?

Your posts exude bitterness and jealousy and it seems to be rubbing off on your DD. I think you need to take a long hard look.

But the prizes for Excellence are ranked 1,2 and 3 and factor in attainment, so if this one kid is getting the top Excellence prize in multiple subjects, surely it's because her marks over the year are the best in the class in addition to her having a good attitude. It would be unfair NOT to give her the prize.

I'm still bitter about missing out on the termly prize for best performer in year (just a box of chocs), when I was involved in three extra curriculars representing the school, got the best grades, and was tutoring five other classmates, as well as producing revision guides for the whole class.

There were some bitter friends about the grades, as if I'd stolen theirs by making mine - but the boy I had the hugest crush on just gave me a smile and said "some people have just got it".

It still stands out to me as one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me.

(Tragically he didn't date me, but I can't be mad about that, because he went out with a lovely girl who shamed a group of boys who were bullying me.)

In ten years time, will it really matter?

Elitist school in elitist awards system shocker.