Bloody Prize giving

[AllienOlliemum]

I have 3 DC in the same school, it's a grammar school and tends to achieve very good results. Every year they do prize giving. There are two award categories, Excellence and Effort.
Last year I queried what exactly excellence is in this case and was told "The excellence awards are decided by each department as a whole and considering attainment, attitude, progress and effort" the second award category is simply for effort.
In the upper school (Y10-13) 3 students are selected for each subject and ranked 1st, 2nd and 3rd for excellence, and 3 students (if enough uptake of the subject) are given effort, not ranked). In Lower school (Y7-9) 5 students are selected for excellence, not ranked and 5 for effort not ranked.

Today the upper school prize giving awards list was sent out. The actual ceremony is at the end of June but I guess it's because some leavers will have to plan around it. My eldest DD is in Y11, sitting her GCSEs and for the 5th year running not a single award. She has fantastic predicted grades and we are frequently told how hardworking and diligent she is. As per usual though it's the same kids as always. In fact one girl has an award in every single subject she must have taken, 7 Excellence awards and 3 Effort! With 1st in 5 of those! She also seems to have won the award for an essay writing competition and the award given by the historical society!
My other two children (Y8 and Y9) have also never received an award to date but the lower school awards aren't announced until middle of June.
Last year I queried how it is possible one child wins all the awards and was told the departments select their own winners and can't know who the other departments have chosen.
There are also non academic awards such as Integrity, but typically it's always the same students who get these too.

AIBU to be massively pissed off with this bloody system which is centred around favouritism!
It's every good damn year!

if they happen to be little miss perfect!

I am pretty sure i really wouldn’t like you in RL OP

good on her!!!

I doubt the teachers are all thinking they'll give her an award because they like her best. More likely she works her socks off and achieves highly as a result. More so than others.

I just find it hard to believe that one child is dominating every subject, surely most agree that isn't realistic!

My DH won nearly all the individual subject awards at his grammar school in the 60s. He's a natural academic.

As are our 2 DSs who also won most of the awards for their year, every year.

Is it fairer to give awards to those less deserving, according to the criteria? Change the criteria, perhaps, but don't fake the results.

I dislike awards, as a teacher, but if they are given out it should be for honest reasons.

I know it's not a big deal in the real world but it definitely dents my kids confidence in the short term.

So they are number 2 against the winner? ie they would have won if not the repeated winners?

the icing on the cake Op is that your DD clearly doesn’t like this brilliant girl

Wow sour grapes from mother and daughter!
It’s not like pass the parcel where everyone wins something now.
Some kids are just better than others.
I had 2 dc go through senior school never nominated nor invited to one of these evenings. One of them left school with 7 a* grades. It’s just life, someone else was consistently better or working harder. The other left school with significantly lower grades and did get invited to sports prize giving evening although didn’t win!

There are lessons in life we all need to learn but above all else it’s important to she knows she’s doing well FOR HERSELF, not for a generic prize presented in front of a room full of people.

Considering according to DD she doesn't have many friends I don't think many people do!

Op you’re just sounding bitter I’m afraid. Maybe “Little miss perfect” has worked hated than the rest and do deserves her awards?

I dominated every subject, apart from maths, at which I was tremendously stupid. Not in the UK, so you had to take a minimum of seven subjects for final exams in secondary school. I lost count of how many subject prizes I won. Also ranked separately by teachers, so no favouritism -- in fact, I wasn't that popular with the teachers, and the teacher of my two best subjects loathed me.

I think you're getting a hard time by the people that just love to do that to posters OP.

Obviously, YABU to actually say anything outside your own home...

But I can recall secondary school and by Y3 it was clearly bloody obvious who was going to win X prize for whatever each year and there was no point attempting to beat them, they were the Golden Child in certain teachers eyes and that was the end of it.

These awards are not purely given based on results/grades, they're also given based on who the teachers know best (or think they know best) and like best. Often there is also a lazy element, teachers put forward the kid that first springs to mind rather than actively having a think or looking back at results to see if there is anyone else deserving of recognition.

Tis a life lesson in something, just explain to your kids that it's all a load of bollocks!

Who needs friends who are jealous of you.

Little Miss Perfect will likely go on to do great things despite her jealous, bitter classmates.

Of course not. In your head she cries herself to sleep every night and would swap all her achievements for acceptance by the middle-of-the-road academically gang.

goodness you and have real bitch fests about this teen girl

you should be ashamed of yourself

I think you can have a few children that get the same grades, but the differential as to who gets the award is on subjective points/ who the teachers like?

I was not my teachers' favourite (probably justifiably I may add, I was a PITA as a teen) so rarely got awards. Including when I got the highest mark of not only school but anyone taking the A level History that year for the entire WJEC exam board. Someone else got it instead. I was a tad miffed.

So, I can sort of see why the OP may be a little suspicious. That said, some people really are that gifted and hard working. Across multiple subjects.

I think it would help if the school was more transparent on their criteria. Since it is not just about getting the top marks, but also hardwork, good behaviour and attitude.

I was in a comp. But figure it is the same for grammars?

Awards are so tiresome. I was a good all rounder and never got an award. They went to the weakest students to try to encourage them in our school, which meant that the well behaved but bottom of the class child would go home year after year with a carrier bag full of trophies.

Whilst I do think that the system of everyone gets a prize is also tiresome, and unrealistic, if a school can't think in a joined up way and mix up who gets awards over the 5 year career at school, then what's the point in doing them, because yeah, it was a bit sad knowing who would always win.

I can’t believe you’re leaving such nasty comments on the internet about a child!

And if you are actually Allie & Ollie’s Mum, you better hope the DM don’t pick this one up. Would be a real shame..

Do I get credit for not posting all of the “everyone get’s a trophy jokes and memes”? I feel like I should get the restraint trophy 🏆

On a serious note @AllienOlliemum Fairness as you get older is a rare thing as most will attest. People will get ahead by all sorts of methods… hard work, sucking up, dedication, dumb luck, ability, ruthlessness, and talent to name a few. Save your outrage for something that matters.

I understand this is hard. But you know she is going to do well and outside of school this really has no relevance. People aren't going to look more favourably at the person with the grades 789s and the excellence awards compared with the person with the 789s.
When I was in school, I was a good all rounder and never won anything because my lovely friend, who was a bit better than me at everything, won everything.

You are being a bit mean about the winner though.

I think that's a bit poor too actually OP. I'm not of the "everyone's a winner" school of thought but I think that school awards should try to recognise a reasonably wide range of pupils. The multi award winning girl is probably extremely talented but that number seems excessive and there will be others who have also achieved highly but don't get recognised at all.
At my DC's school I am pretty sure the teachers must compare notes as whilst some pupils do win more than one award it's rare for it to be more than 2 or 3 at most. From my knowledge of my DC and their friends and observation of who wins what I imagine they have conversations that go something like "So for physics it's close between Peter and Jane" "Oh, well Jane is clear winner for maths and further maths so let's recognise Peter for physics". I think that's fair enough. Jane is already going home with a decent haul of prizes, it wont harm her not to get the physics prize and it will give Peter a boost to see his achievements recognised. It would be daft to give achievement prizes to someone who is mediocre but I find it hard to believe that there aren't enough pupils who are achieving highly to distribute things a bit more widely.
I also think that "effort" prizes should generally be used to reward those who try really hard but don't quite make the grade on the achievement front. I always thought that was the point of having effort separated from achievement. Not that high achievers don't put in effort of course but they are already being recognised.I coach a sport. At the end of the season we give awards including Athlete of the Year and the Endeavour Award. I know who the former will go to as he is having an amazingly successful season. He also works incredibly hard so would be worthy of the Endeavour Award, but he won't win it. One of my new starters who is absolutely working her socks off and improving lots but hasn't got anywhere near the podium at a single event yet will be getting that. Either would deserve it but why would I miss the opportunity to recognise and encourage two great kids instead of one? I would expect schools to have a similar outlook.

Problem is, whatever way schools decide to give awards some kids will miss out. My eldest was a good all-rounder, and hard working, at a not-very-high-achieving school. The ethos there was to spread the awards as far and wide as possible, not just to the top performers. We know she got the highest GCSE mark in one subject at least, as the teacher told us when he asked for consent to obtain her papers to use as model answers for the next year group, but another kid got the award.

It's ok to acknowledge that the system's not perfect and have a bit of a grumble at home, but at the end of the day it's just a certificate and a book token that will be forgotten about as soon as they leave school, not a Nobel Prize.

Are the 'effort' awards always genuinely that?

My DS's school have regular 'Pride' awards (as in traditional meaning, not LGBT!) and these seem to be given out about 50/50: half to high-achieving and/or really conscientious kids who have genuinely been a credit to themselves and the school (regardless of ability level); and half to the notoriously disruptive troublemakers who have somehow been persuaded to make slightly less trouble than normal for a term.

It is galling when your child has worked very well and also come top in some subjects, not to get anything; when a bully who routinely makes life a misery for the others gets a 'well done for not bullying anybody on Thursday' award (obviously more tactfully worded).

She sounds like she really puts the effort in and deserves the awards. If she struggles socially, then that is her flaw and will come with it's own set of problems. I wouldn't begrudge her prizes in the areas she excels in.

I have a sporty boy, chosen for every sporting event. I've had comments about it to my face but they don't see the struggles he has elsewhere.

I think the problem is DD falls somewhere between the Excellence and Effort awards.

Effort seems to be a mix of genuinely high achieving students who missed out on excellence and 3 students who are middle of the road but trying really hard.
I think DD is very unfairly overlooked!