To ask neighbour not to smoke in his own garden?

[fope]

We live in a flat in converted townhouse. We are on the second floor. Neighbour is in the garden flat (not shared garden). Our bedroom is at the back of the house.

As it’s getting hotter, we need to have our bedroom window open all night.

Garden flat neighbour is a heavy smoker. He stands in the french doors of his flat and smokes “out” into the garden (if that makes sense).

The problem is, that the smoke rises up and it makes our bedroom stink. Three mornings in a row we have woken up to a bedroom smelling of cigarette smoke.

AIBU to ask him not to smoke in his garden? Or at least go somewhere else where it won’t rise up into other people’s homes. Other people in our building have also commented on this.

Because YOU smoke, everyone else has to close windows and not have fresh air in ther house or flat. Wow - what a selfish, horrible T**t!

Why the faux-naiveté? The point was that most people pollute by doing things that are purely for their own pleasure and it is hypocritical to single out smokers when other activities are worse in terms of pollution yet deemed acceptable.

Yes, that's true but they don't have such an immediate impact do they?

Can you fashion something that directs the smoke away from your open window? Like a ledge of some kind fixed to your window sill.

Cigarette smoke is horrible but it’s his property and he has the right to do whatever he wants in it

We were on holiday and the guy below smoked constantly big cigars on the balcony below, including late at night. It was just awful.

Surely there is nothing wrong with telling neighbour, nicely, that unfortunately his smoking makes you feel ill, and ask, nicely, if there was any chance he could smoke in another part of the garden. Depends how you ask.

And if it works, follow up with a nice bottle of something and a box of good chocs, and a card.

If the reaction is negative, sadly, moving will be your only choice. It shouldn't be that way.

Because YOU don't smoke, people can't smoke in thier own gardens?

Yabu if my neighbour asked me this I wouldn't stop. You choose to open your windows on your property I choose to smoke on mine

It could be argued though, why should other people have to smell and breathe in your smoke? It's not contained on your property and ends up in the property of another person so should other people not be considered?

I have a neighbour with Emphysema and he wouldn't be able to breathe with smoke wafting into his house constantly. What about people like him?

What would your stance be on excessive noise coming from your property?

But it's not excessive smoke he's smoking not lighting bonfires everyday. It's the same with noise if you live in close proximity of others you have to except a certain level of noise

I used to smoke. OP is not asking neighbour not to smoke in his garden, but perhaps to smoke in a different area where it would not affect OP, or less.

@Differentstarts Absolutely but it depends on the level and frequency of the noise in addition to the nature of it. So normal every day activities are fine but if someone was having screaming arguments and loud parties, then that would be a problem.

I don't think it would harm the neighbour to ensure the smoke doesn't bother the neighbours. It's good to have a bit of consideration all round.

@RosieTheChi It could be argued though, why should other people have to smell and breathe in your smoke? It's not contained on your property and ends up in the property of another person so should other people not be considered?

I have a neighbour with Emphysema and he wouldn't be able to breathe with smoke wafting into his house constantly. What about people like him?

What would your stance be on excessive noise coming from your property? have you ever asked yourself how he/she got emphysema???????

@allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld From working down the pit from a young age.

I sympathise, the smell of cigarette smoke is vile and very clingy. There's no harm in explaining to him that the smoke is coming directly into your bedroom, and asking if he'd mind moving further out into the garden. He may refuse, in which case you'll need to just tolerate - perils of living in a shared building!

As things currently stand, I think it's pretty cheeky to ask someone not to smoke or suggest where to smoke, on their own property.
You might get away with asking him to move if you do it very nicely and he's a good guy but I can't imagine he'd keep it up for long. It's his preference to stand at the door and he'll go back to doing that...not to inconvenience you but because it's his house and that's what he likes to do.

Think you're on a hiding to nothing on this one I'm afraid.

He’s a smoker, so you instantly know he isn’t a decent person by that fact alone

Oh fuck ooooooff

But most people smoke by the back door so that they can listen out for kids, doorbell, telephone or anything else that may need attending to. I'm not going away from my house and leaving my children unattended to suit a neighbour who wont close their windows. I'm not the mccanns.

I feel for you. It’s really shit. Maybe try closing the windows and getting a really good fan?

YABVU.
Not only is it his right to smoke in his own garden, but it is literally everyone's right to smoke anywhere outside at all. Literally! They've been banished from indoors by all and sundry as it is, you can't possibly expect anything from him.

But yeah, it's a gross smell. For all of 5 minutes or so. It's no different to him doing a bbq. Or someone cooking strong foods. Not pleasant if it's not your thing, but unreasonable to suggest that someone does as you want.

@Whatthebarnacles You can't smoke anywhere outside. Only on public land. Smoking is not allowed outside hospital doors or in a garage forecourt.

This.

He might be a decent person and not realise his smoke is coming into your bedroom.

Exactly...It's like stating people should stop using vehicles because the fumes are smelly and bad for the lungs 🫁.

I think you are being ridiculous to think you can stop someone smoking in their own garden. I hate smoke too but would keep my window closed and keep a fan on through the night.

No point him going to the end of his garden. A MN’er can smell cigarette smoke from the next county.
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