To ask neighbour not to smoke in his own garden?

[fope]

We live in a flat in converted townhouse. We are on the second floor. Neighbour is in the garden flat (not shared garden). Our bedroom is at the back of the house.

As it’s getting hotter, we need to have our bedroom window open all night.

Garden flat neighbour is a heavy smoker. He stands in the french doors of his flat and smokes “out” into the garden (if that makes sense).

The problem is, that the smoke rises up and it makes our bedroom stink. Three mornings in a row we have woken up to a bedroom smelling of cigarette smoke.

AIBU to ask him not to smoke in his garden? Or at least go somewhere else where it won’t rise up into other people’s homes. Other people in our building have also commented on this.

I’m a vegetarian. My neighbour has barbecues frequently and the smell knocks me sick. But it’s his garden and I wouldn’t dream of saying anything because it’s his prerogative to do as he pleases in his own garden. Smoking outside means that it’s not going to harm you, it’s just unpleasant. I would do as others have suggested and point a fan at the window.

I don’t think there’s any harm asking him to move down the garden. Our neighbour smokes in his garden and it’s really unpleasant even though our gardens are big and he’s not close.

He might not be aware op so if he seems nice enough to deal with then I'd say to him that the smoke is coming up into your rooms and if it's not raining would he mind smoking at the other side of the garden.

You could certainly ask him, but he is completely entitled to say no. He can smoke as much as he likes on his property. I can certainly understand why you hate it, but these sorts of inconveniences are part and parcel of living in close proximity to others.

I actually don't mind the smell of a cigarette drifting over my garden - but I really dislike the smell of barbecues, for some reason. I wouldn't ask my neighbours not to have barbecues, though.

Hell be doing it at the french doors so that he doesn’t have to put shoes and coat on to go out down the garden. Probably sometimes he’s not even dressed for the day. So it will be quite a change in habit and routine to go down the garden out of the house where you have to get decent, coat, shoes, and maybe put a chair or shelter down there. Standing in the patio doors is protecting him from rain etc, so going fully out is going to mean getting wet, or taking an umbrella out and drying it after. I don’t love smoking but the reality is it is quite significantly more faff and process to go down the garden than stand in the patio doors and smoke out, and that’s why he’s doing it the latter way. So your request is a fairly big change to routine, rightly or wrongly.

I have never slept with a bedroom window open, for reasons of noise as well as smells. I’d never get any sleep at all. Does everyone live in remote rural places to be able to have the windows open at night?

This is perfect. If he ignores it, then close the windows and get a light fan fitted.

What a stupid idea. He'd be very pissed off to have all that shite through the door, and he is very likely to guess who sent it

Not really. You could perhaps ask him to move a bit so it's not directly going into your window but when you live in close proximity to other people you just have to deal with stuff like this. Your right to not have a bit of secondhand smoke blowing into your house now and again doesn't trump his right to smoke on his own property, sorry.

I think you would be wrong to ask him to move, because for him it would involve having to get dressed etc. If it was me, I would keep the bedroom window closed and open all the other windows and doors to allow any breeze to waft through.

If it's raining the smoke won't drift up, so he wouldn't need to get kitted out as you describe.

There are many people - myself included - who sleep with windows open in urban areas. Not sure why you're so incredulous about that.

OP, I'd certainly try a fan pointing at the open window. It might work.

I think you could reasonably ask for him to do it a different part of the garden, away from your windows. Unfortunately not much you can do if he ignores you.

Yes @SacreBleugh that's spot on. I don't think its fair to presume because he is a smoker that he is selfish and thoughtless, he might be embarrassed and not have realised. All you can do is ask, phrase it like you are making him aware that it's a problem rather than demanding he stops. I think a note is better than confrontation.

You can't really ask people not to smoke on their own property but it may be considered a nuisance if it effects other people in the building. We had similar with a tenant keeping his internal front door open so the smoke permiated everyone else's flats. It was considered a statutory nuisance and the council ordered him to keep his internal door shut. You say other people in the block have also commented about it but who have they commented about it to? Are they just talking about it among themselves or approaching him together to speak to him? I suspect the former as is all too often in these situations. We once had a cannabis factory next door effecting everyone else's quality of life but all people seemed to want to do was talk among themselves about how awful it was. Nobody actually wanted to put their head above the parapet and do something about it. When other people comment about it, ask them to perhaps support you and both jointly comment about it together either to him or the council as causing a nuisance.

How's the view from that high horse of yours?

I mean, I guess only as unreasonable as if he asked you not to leave your windows open? Or to sleep in another room? 🤷‍♂️

It's not really high horse tbh.
Choosing to smoke and subject others to the stink is pretty selfish. That said, humans are selfish by nature and loads of folk do selfish things every day.

@fope Is there something preventing you from putting a fan in the window to blow out?

You could tell him how the smell rises into your bedroom and ask him if he could find another window to smoke out of, but unfortuneately he has every right to keep doing it..
we had a similar situation in a flat with a lovely south facing balcony. Heavy smokers underneath us and we couldnt ever use our balcony or leave the kitchen/bathroom windows open because of the smell.

Her leaving her window open isn't causing a stink (unless her or her partner has particularly strong/lingering farts or sprays perfume 24/7). Smoking is causing a stink.

Why ,what exactly will that do ?
He knows he smokes ,I'm sure he's aware it s bad for his health.

Smoke is grim so I totally sympathise but I don’t think you can reasonable expect someone not to smoke in their own garden. Have you thought about a fan for the bedroom? It makes a huge difference to room temp and means no need to open the window overnight which solves my fear of bugs flying in, and would equally deal with your smoke issue.

Yes, ask and see what she says.
She could go ballistic or you may be pleasantly surprised

Smoking should be banned in all public spaces along with where it can impact neibours like you

keep us posted but please be careful as people can get very vindictive. If she works, that great but from your post about smoking I doubt she does so be aware you may get a massive problem

The dangerous stench is awful and I'm not sure what many people are smoking these days but as we often go for a walk along the rive and sit on a bench - you get a few smokers and the stecnch is like sewer stench - its awful - we get up and leave is the wind is blowing it our way

Trust me, if you are a none smoker and cant stand the stench, your suggestion wont get rid of all of it but may help as a last resort

Exactly this. If he's a decent bloke he'll think about how what he does affects his neighbours and smoke elsewhere. You never know it might encourage him to give up the horrid habit.
As an ex smoker sometimes you just a little push helps.

I hate smoking too but I don't think you can ask him not to smoke in his own garden.