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Original poster

Advice - school run sick husband

251 replies

Blueberryancakes · 14/05/2024 05:32

Need some advice please.

I start work at 8am.

Husband works from home so will do the school run just before he starts work.

He’s been sick in the night and feels dreadful. I’ve been up half the night with him. He can’t do the school run.

I’ve got no one to ask to do it.

Im going to have to call my boss and tell him I’ve got to do the school run so won’t be in until 9:30am.

Im panicking I’m going to be in trouble for being late. Can my boss refuse me coming in late?

OP posts:
Computercalendar · 14/05/2024 11:33

He sounds very unwell, some replies are so rude.
what happens when your are ill OP? Are you allowed to take a sick day? If he's doesn't already, I would suggest getting the flu jab especially as he is on immunosuppressants.

Also, for those that don't know flu is not a bad cold. You literally can't get out of bed. Flu is like if there was a tenner on the floor, you wouldn't be able to pick it up. You'd just leave it there.

Notreat · 14/05/2024 11:38

Just tell your boss you will be late. It would be a terrible employer that objected. Sometimes life happens and things don't run smoothly. Of course your husband shouldn't do the school run if he has flu. Will you be able to pick them up? Have you any school friends who can help or after school club?

Jimmyneutronsforehead · 14/05/2024 11:39

Blueberryancakes · 14/05/2024 06:06

Im front of house for a small medical practice- not nhs
I get in before anyone else - set up clinic and I there to answer the first lot of calls. Normally they are urgent first thing.

I’m not the only key holder but it will be tricky for the other staff members to do my job while trying to see appointments.

I’ve never done this before so hopefully they will be understanding.

My managers children are all in boarding schools and his wife doesn’t work - so he would have never had these problems

Their lack of staffing and resources isn't your issue.

People get sick all the time. People have dependents to take care of. Some things are more important than work.

If they would struggle without you then that's a them problem. What if you were suddenly hospitalised, or had suffered a bereavement?

PinkyFlamingo · 14/05/2024 11:48

Willmafrockfit · 14/05/2024 05:37

man flu

i dont know whether your boss can refuse you being late, depends what you do

So you think he's faking it or exaggerating based on what?

fruitbrewhaha · 14/05/2024 11:56

Surely you can’t “be in trouble”. Stuff happens, they’ll find a work around.

How have you got a 9 year old and not developed a support network for this kind of issue? Doesn’t everyone make friends with other parents, foster relationships, help each other out etc?

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 14/05/2024 12:03

I had a boss that would purposely ignore you after you'd called in sick / had a family emergency to "make you sweat". He was such a dick.

AllyCart · 14/05/2024 12:14

PinkyFlamingo · 14/05/2024 11:48

So you think he's faking it or exaggerating based on what?

Show quote history

Sexism, most likely, given the stats show that women take more sickness absence than men.

Scottishgirl85 · 14/05/2024 12:19

I'm surprised it needs to be unpaid, that's a crappy employer! You sound pretty reliable and this is a one-off.

And how you have a 9 year old with no support network is completely beyond me. Does your daughter not have playdates, or walk out of class with friends and then you bump into parents? Don't you speak to parents whilst waiting at pick up? Birthday parties? Clubs? I'm worried your child is missing out on social activities!

Sweden99 · 14/05/2024 12:26

Willmafrockfit · 14/05/2024 05:37

man flu

i dont know whether your boss can refuse you being late, depends what you do

Men get the same flu as women. The symptoms are not milder in men.

Beautiful3 · 14/05/2024 12:27

Yes of course, it's a one off. These things happen.

ThisIsWhatIDo · 14/05/2024 12:41

With him being on immunosuppressants I'd definitely get him checked over in case of sepsis. Hope he feels better soon.

WhoopDereItIzz · 14/05/2024 13:03

WarshipRocinante · 14/05/2024 10:45

No, she very clearly said that others aren’t as lucky as me. How?

Show quote history

You are not immunocompromised.

bloodyplumbing · 14/05/2024 13:04

BingoMarieHeeler · 14/05/2024 11:22

God if DH or I had a stomach bug etc in the night we’d expect the other adult to sleep in order to function the next day. What were you actually doing for him in the night? I wouldn’t be cleaning up sick for him in case I then went down with it!

Maybe her immuno suppressed DH being so unwell made it difficult for her to relax and sleep?

bloodyplumbing · 14/05/2024 13:05

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 14/05/2024 12:03

I had a boss that would purposely ignore you after you'd called in sick / had a family emergency to "make you sweat". He was such a dick.

With a high turnover of staff I presume!

Honestly, some employers.

MummyJ36 · 14/05/2024 13:16

Your employer sounds like a knob. What happens if YOU were sick and unable to come in? They need to have a back up plan in place.

You do also need to have a back up OP to give you and DH some breathing space if this happens again. Would the breakfast club do ad-hoc places? I know DC’s club do a “walk in” rate for a small additional admin fee but you need to be registered on their system beforehand.

Mynewnameis · 14/05/2024 13:16

I hope he's OK.
This would be a very common thing at my work. I'm glad your boss was OK..

oakleaffy · 14/05/2024 13:20

Blueberryancakes · 14/05/2024 05:36

He is too sick to do the school run. I think he’s got flu he can’t get out of bed.

I have just had Norovirus ( suspected) severe vomiting for over 24 hours
I had to miss an event I was so looking forward to- ( Badminton horse trials)- like your husband, I could only manage to get to loo ( only just) and had a bucket 🪣 next to the bed as was easier and safer than trying to get to loo.

If your husband has this- no way should he be driving.
I vomited just feeding my poor dog and then letting her out in garden ( carried bucket 🪣 with me)

I hope you don’t catch it.

Or your child…

Itsnotallaboutyoulikeyouthink · 14/05/2024 13:33

I can’t believe that you really had to post about this . Why are you so nervous about getting in trouble at work? You have done will for 9 years not to have to deal with this before. Crikey.

RoseUnder · 14/05/2024 13:34

PermanentTemporary · 14/05/2024 08:16

Given some of the reactions on this thread I can see why you might not want to post on a WhatsApp group, but still, it is worth trying to make a network. What I would say however is that normally I would expect the person doing the school run most of the time to make that network. I guess for some it sounds too transactional but it was part of my friendships with other parents, male and female, that we helped each other out with stuff like this. It's a close-knit community round here and it's just accepted that you lend a hand. I think we are lucky to have such a big network between us - there are probably around 20 households I could call on and most are still mates years later - but most people manage to make a friend or two like this.

When your dh is well again, have a talk with him. If you finish at 2, presumably you are a good candidate for helping out after school. He could be a good help for before school. Who does he know among the morning parents? Has he ever helped out anyone in this way? Be the community that you need.

This, part of your job as a parent is to build a network to keep the wheels turning.

Yes, sometimes class whatsapp groups can be annoying. You can mute them. But largely worth minor annoyance/having to press the mute button for the practical help you can tap into (and give to others - goes both ways).

It's really important to teach your child that she/he needs a community network in life as well. It can make a big difference, including for practical day-to-day help like this instance.

Jamberrytartlett · 14/05/2024 13:35

Mouk · 14/05/2024 08:14

He needs to suck it up, bring the kids to school and then go home and get back into bed. It's flu not V&D. I'm sure you've battled on through when sick.

He was vomiting and it's difficult to even stand up when you have proper flu.

BringMeSunshineAllDayLong · 14/05/2024 13:40

WarshipRocinante · 14/05/2024 08:02

Are you in England? There is a massive difference between England and Scotland with this, I’ve learned from mumsnet. Your schools don’t let the kids out without a parent half the time. Scottish schools will make sure the primary 1s have a parent but after P1, all bets are off and the kids just walk out. So, most of us let our kids walk
home much earlier than the English. It’s really not an issue, very normal and a 9 year old is plenty capable of walking home.

Show quote history

Not everywhere in England. I live in a big city and my kids walked from aged 7.

OssieShowman · 14/05/2024 13:41

Can you take the DC a bit earlier than usual, so you won’t be as late?

OnNaturesCourse · 14/05/2024 13:46

PineappleTime · 14/05/2024 06:33

What would he do if you weren't there?
I genuinely don't get this. I've done the school run with flu before as there's been nobody else to do it.

I'm guessing OPs DD wouldn't be getting taken into school.

I've been on my own with kids and once was so unwell I couldn't leave the bathroom long enough to do the school run. Kids were fine, they were old enough to potter around/make a sandwich and watch TV but not old enough to walk 15 minutes to school alone (and over a busy road).

babyproblems · 14/05/2024 13:51

Your boss isn’t God- if you’re late, you’re late. If your DH literally cannot get out of bed (and you believe him and he would do the same for you if tables were turned) then you’ll have to send a quick text and be a bit late… it’s normal life.
Would your boss be mad if you had a car accident? Car broke down? Sometimes unexpected shit happens and people are late beyond their control. The fact you are as worried as you are suggests to me that you are a good employee! Be a little bit less good. I used to be like you.. it was stressful. After baby I realised I would burn myself out.. had to stop caring as much. No one batted an eyelid!!! Be late. Let go of the pressure. xo